carhill Posted June 18, 2008 Posted June 18, 2008 They get somewhat larger. Problem is so do other parts of me...like my waist. I wish all the weight would go to the right places, but unfortunately that's not the case. That is why I'm hesitant to gain weight. Hmm, I'll bet you're an apple. My wife is a pear so her "extra" goes to her butt and gets no argument from me I'd leave the girls alone. My female friend is an apple (shape) and I recall, before her reduction, she'd go to E and F (cup) from a DD when she'd gain weight (like 20-30 pounds). It was very uncomfortable for her, in a lot of ways....
Author shadowplay Posted June 18, 2008 Author Posted June 18, 2008 I guess this thread just proves how different people's preferences are, which makes it kind of futile to please everyone.
carhill Posted June 18, 2008 Posted June 18, 2008 Just so you know, for most of us, "pleasing" has nothing to do with what the scale says or your breast size is. If you want to "please" anyone, please yourself. That puts a smile on my face
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted June 18, 2008 Posted June 18, 2008 I guess this thread just proves how different people's preferences are, which makes it kind of futile to please everyone. Why would you be trying to please everyone anyway? Does everybody need to love your body? No. You do, and hopefully the guy you are with. Beyond that you are just looking for validation that you have a good figure, which you do.
Author shadowplay Posted June 18, 2008 Author Posted June 18, 2008 Hmm, I'll bet you're an apple. My wife is a pear so her "extra" goes to her butt and gets no argument from me I'd leave the girls alone. My female friend is an apple (shape) and I recall, before her reduction, she'd go to E and F (cup) from a DD when she'd gain weight (like 20-30 pounds). It was very uncomfortable for her, in a lot of ways.... Yeah, I'm prob an apple considering that my mother is def one. When she gains weight it all goes to her middle. I actually think I'm curvier at a thin weight than at a heavier one. I also notice that my extremities tend to stay pretty thin no matter my weight, which probably colors people's perceptions of how thin I am. For example, I have very long thin fingers and my forearms always stay very thin. So when I show more skin, I tend to look heavier because all the focus isn't on my extremities. I feel pretty confident with the way I look naked, but feel that I look worse clothed.
Kamille Posted June 18, 2008 Posted June 18, 2008 Do you guys think larger breasts would fill out my figure better? I've vaguely considered implants from time to time. Be honest. I have small breasts but I would never want to risk losing sensitivity in that area. Honestly, I think you look good and I'm glad to know you stopped monitoring what you eat. As a teenager I struggled with anorexia and it took me a long time to have a healthier relationship with my body, to appreciate it not only for how it looked, but also for how good it made me feel when I treated it right. I weight 20 pounds more then you, am only two inches taller and people still tell me I look skinny. I think people say that for many different reasons, usually more as a compliment then as criticism. My cousin is really slender, and strangers make rude comments to her about being anorexic (she isn't).
Author shadowplay Posted June 18, 2008 Author Posted June 18, 2008 Why would you be trying to please everyone anyway? Does everybody need to love your body? No. You do, and hopefully the guy you are with. Beyond that you are just looking for validation that you have a good figure, which you do. I know I can't please everyone, and I'm not looking for validation. But I do get easily affected by what others think. Sometimes I get the feeling a lot of people look down on me for being too thin, but this could all be in my head. That kind of hostility just tends to make me feel insecure. I don't think it's even jealousy...so much as resentment like "who does she think she is?" It's as if people think I'm trying to fit some image by keeping my weight down, when in fact I obsess more about being too skinny. If I'm eating something fatty people look at me funny as if they think I must go home and purge it all up. Sometimes they'll say "how do you stay thin and eat like that." I just have a fast metabolism. I don't even want to be that thin. Probably in a few years I'll balloon once my metabolism slows down.
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted June 18, 2008 Posted June 18, 2008 If people resent you for your body, then their opinions shouldn't count for much. You worry too much about what others think about you! Do you stop to think about how you feel about them? Do you give validity to your own opinions? Like, Girl#1 is jealous of my body. Wow, what a loser. She needs to get a life and work on herself if she is so jealous. Then, no more thought for this twat.
NKD SWMR Posted June 18, 2008 Posted June 18, 2008 i don't think you're too thin at all. how tall are you?
Trialbyfire Posted June 18, 2008 Posted June 18, 2008 I'm not looking for validation. Do get serious shadowplay. You are looking for validation. You're constantly looking for validation, be it looks or otherwise. If not, you wouldn't be posting about it. I wish you would be more honest about it. Having said that, no, you're not too thin at all. You have a great body and should be happy with it.
Author shadowplay Posted June 18, 2008 Author Posted June 18, 2008 If people resent you for your body, then their opinions shouldn't count for much. You worry too much about what others think about you! Do you stop to think about how you feel about them? Do you give validity to your own opinions? Like, Girl#1 is jealous of my body. Wow, what a loser. She needs to get a life and work on herself if she is so jealous. Then, no more thought for this twat. I don't give as much validity to my own opinions. If somebody else is critical of me I usually assume they're right and they're better than me in some way. I don't want to think this way, but it's like a mental tic.
Author shadowplay Posted June 18, 2008 Author Posted June 18, 2008 Do get serious shadowplay. You are looking for validation. You're constantly looking for validation, be it looks or otherwise. If not, you wouldn't be posting about it. I wish you would be more honest about it. Having said that, no, you're not too thin at all. You have a great body and should be happy with it. Well, I was looking for validation in the sense that I was hoping to hear from people that I'm not too thin. I wasn't looking for it in the sense that I think I have a great body and was fishing for compliments. I'm pretty critical of myself and usually expect the worst. More than anything, I guess I just wanted honesty -- good or bad.
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted June 18, 2008 Posted June 18, 2008 I don't give as much validity to my own opinions. If somebody else is critical of me I usually assume they're right and they're better than me in some way. I don't want to think this way, but it's like a mental tic. I have been there. It takes time and effort to retrain your thinking, but you must do it or you will forever be unhappy. It's very difficult and mentally exhausting to have other's opinions shape your view of yourself.
Author shadowplay Posted June 18, 2008 Author Posted June 18, 2008 On a related note, do any other women out there feel uncomfortable dressing sexy because they worry other people will assume they're full of themselves? I'm always reluctant to show skin because I worry that people will assume if I do I think I'm "all that" or whatever. I'd prefer to just be inconspicuous a lot of the time so I try to downplay my sexuality.
luvmy2ns Posted June 18, 2008 Posted June 18, 2008 Personally, I think you look very healthy and have a nice body. You do appear to have muscle and all which is a GOOD thing. And to the poster who said no one can ever be too thin - you are wrong, wrong, WRONG.
luvmy2ns Posted June 18, 2008 Posted June 18, 2008 On a related note, do any other women out there feel uncomfortable dressing sexy because they worry other people will assume they're full of themselves? I'm always reluctant to show skin because I worry that people will assume if I do I think I'm "all that" or whatever. I'd prefer to just be inconspicuous a lot of the time so I try to downplay my sexuality. You can dress sexy all you want. If other people want to judge you, they're probably just jealous. However, there is a fine line between looking sexy and looking slutty (pardon the terminology). A gal can look sexy AND classy at the same time. THAT is the trick.
Trialbyfire Posted June 18, 2008 Posted June 18, 2008 I do agree luv. Also, what looks slutty on one body type/way the person moves, etc., can look quite nice/reasonable on someone else. Get to know your body and how different styles work with it. It also depends on what type of attention you want to attract and what your mood is/what's appropriate for the situation/event. If you wear a clubbing outfit at a shareholder's meeting or gala event, you're bound to receive a certain type of attention. You'll find men pulling out their wallets and asking you how much!
Krytie TV Posted June 18, 2008 Posted June 18, 2008 I would say your body is attractive, but unfortunately the need for validation and attention is not. It doesn't matter how good you look if you have a constant need of attention and to be accepted.
bayouboi Posted June 18, 2008 Posted June 18, 2008 I'm with that other guy, what's up with the public restroom? o_O
Author shadowplay Posted June 18, 2008 Author Posted June 18, 2008 I'm with that other guy, what's up with the public restroom? o_O I was at work late and playing around with the camera on my new phone.
Author shadowplay Posted June 18, 2008 Author Posted June 18, 2008 I would say your body is attractive, but unfortunately the need for validation and attention is not. It doesn't matter how good you look if you have a constant need of attention and to be accepted. I actually would prefer not to attract attention to the way I look most of the time and quietly go about my business. That's why I tend to dress pretty conservatively. But still I feel like people judge me. I guess I just need to grow a thicker skin. Either that or I'm just delusional. I do crave attention of the social kind, but I think that's natural given that I only have one or two friends. Maybe I crave more attention than most for this reason. It's like a starving man who fantasizes about a feast. I feel like I get ignored a lot of the time because I'm shy and awkward. It irks me when people talk about unhealthy personality traits as being unattractive. Sure, it may be unattractive to be such and such way, but the focus should be on how it's unhealthy for the individual not unattractive. Calling it unattractive is just feeding into the whole focus on exterior validation.
carhill Posted June 18, 2008 Posted June 18, 2008 Shadow, do you understand the confluence between your inner and outer beauty? Or, do you see the inner you and the outer you as separate entities? I'll use an example. When a man looks in your eyes, what do you think he is looking at or what thoughts about you do you think are on his mind? Although both adjectives (unhealthy and unattractive) could be considered subjective, I feel unattractive is far more so, and less likely to be interpreted as singular in meaning by most intelligent people. Ergo, certain physical or personality characteristics you may possess may seem unattractive to me (just an example here ) but not to the person standing right next to me at a singular point in time. Unhealthy, IMO, would require far more objective proof and intellectual analysis. You always incite interesting discussions, I'll give you that
Nemo Posted June 18, 2008 Posted June 18, 2008 Sweet phone! I like to take "before" and "after" pictures when I unload a huge dump, too. Just for curiosity. If the camera adds ten pounds, then the loo can go part of the way to restoring the balance. Ten pounds?? Better take another magazine, just in case.
Author shadowplay Posted June 18, 2008 Author Posted June 18, 2008 Shadow, do you understand the confluence between your inner and outer beauty? Or, do you see the inner you and the outer you as separate entities? I'll use an example. When a man looks in your eyes, what do you think he is looking at or what thoughts about you do you think are on his mind? No, I think inner and outer beauty are mostly -- but not entirely -- separate in terms of how men view women. When a guy I barely know is looking in my eyes I feel like he is judging me mostly based on how I look, what position I hold in relation to him (at a job for example), and how confident I seem -- in that order. When a guy I know well is looking into my eyes I feel like he is mostly responding to my personality. I think inner and outer beauty are more entangled for women in terms of how they view potential mates. If I don't like a guy's personality, he automatically looks less physically attractive to me. If a guy has a sexy vibe or personality, he suddenly looks more attractive. That said, I'm pretty good at separating the objective from the subjective. I can find an unconventional guy physically attractive but still recognize that objectively he may not be the standard. I find that I'm more attuned to objective "aesthetics" than most people. But this may be because I'm an artist and very attuned to detail. Let me just clarify my definitions of objective and subjective in terms of beauty. In absolute terms, there is no objective beauty because nobody is attractive to everybody -- especially when you look across culture and time lines. So I'm using the term very loosely to describe what Western culture, specifically the entertainment industry, considers attractive.
Author shadowplay Posted June 18, 2008 Author Posted June 18, 2008 Sweet phone! I like to take "before" and "after" pictures when I unload a huge dump, too. Just for curiosity. If the camera adds ten pounds, then the loo can go part of the way to restoring the balance. Ten pounds?? Better take another magazine, just in case. Lol, there was no dumping involved.
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