Bloodelf Posted June 18, 2008 Posted June 18, 2008 Now normally i do not post on webiste forums, i usually just lurk and read. I am your typical shy/no confidence guy, i came here to read other's topics and maybe get an idea what i need to do to be good at the dating game, and i came across this thread http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t155261/ and it really ticked me off because i not the tallest guy in the world, i am 5'9 which is average i guess, honestly i just give up at this point on trying to find a gf, its too much freakin hassle. *EDIT* FOR GODS SAKES IM 21 AND NEVER BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP, LET ALONE EVER KISSED A GIRL! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME!!!???
I am who I am Posted June 18, 2008 Posted June 18, 2008 You play too much World or Warcraft.... go outside. That said, you already mentioned "whats wrong with you"... lack of confidence. You are head tripping on your height, when you are 5'9"?!? honestly i just give up at this point on trying to find a gf, its too much freakin hassle. Whoa!!!! Anything good requires you to work for it! Hassle?? Yes! Fun? Hell Yes! First things first... You need to build your confidence, and raise your self-esteem. Work on you for now, and don't worry about women, they will become part of your life once you start building your life. Do you work out? Do you have hobbies? If not.... Start. Nothing will help you build your confidence, raise you self-esteem, and get you out of mild depression faster than exercise. We can discuss women and how to get one on your arm ad nauseam, but none of that will matter until you confident and happy with your own life
carhill Posted June 18, 2008 Posted June 18, 2008 Buddy, you're just another member of the human race. I won't embarrass myself too much, but will tell you I was a virgin until I was 35. Your life isn't going to end because you haven't been in a R. At 21, I was working my ass off and racing cars on the weekends and having a blast. Girls were so far from my mind they were like another planet Enjoy your freedom and youth. You'll only have it once
Ruby Slippers Posted June 18, 2008 Posted June 18, 2008 I hung out with some friends last weekend and met the boyfriend of one of the girls for the first time. This woman is attractive, very successful, financially well off, and confident. She also happens to be very tall. Her boyfriend was a good 3-4" shorter than her, and it was a total non-issue for them.
Jyl_Unit Posted June 18, 2008 Posted June 18, 2008 I second the too much Warcraft (but I totally caught it too which I guess says something for myself...). Height isn't a big factor for me. I am 2 inches taller than my boyfriend and I don't really care. Sometimes it makes it hard to get dressed up really nice (I don't want to be 5 inches taller!!) but other than that, no big deal. I think it matters more how much you connect with the other person. If you have that chemisty then height will fall to the wayside. Its all about confidence! Take some risks!
Enema Posted June 18, 2008 Posted June 18, 2008 I thought all blood elf players were gay? Just sayin, have you looked into that?
Jilly Bean Posted June 18, 2008 Posted June 18, 2008 I was a virgin until I was 35. Wow. OP, you've never even kissed a girl? Why do you think that is?
Trialbyfire Posted June 18, 2008 Posted June 18, 2008 Seriously...why are you concerned about your height at 5'9"? There was some nastiness in that thread, where much of it was deleted but you also have to keep in mind where people stated their preferences. Preferences aren't non-negotiables for most women, at least the ones who aren't solely superficial, that is. If you find a woman that discounts you because of your height, do you really want to be with someone like this?
tanbark813 Posted June 18, 2008 Posted June 18, 2008 The lack of confidence is going to hinder you far more than your height. And at 5'9" I wouldn't even think the height would be a hindrance. I'm 5'6" and don't have a problem getting women.
Author Bloodelf Posted June 19, 2008 Author Posted June 19, 2008 I got the name from warcraft 3, which came out waaayyy before world of warcraft, which i dont play.
Author Bloodelf Posted June 19, 2008 Author Posted June 19, 2008 OP, you've never even kissed a girl? Why do you think that is? Thats easy to answer, i am unatractive and have low confidence in my appearnce and abilites.
electric_sheep Posted June 19, 2008 Posted June 19, 2008 Yeah, you ain't gonna catch any fish if you aren't willing to go fishing. Believe me, I can relate, because I have suffered from low-confidence all my life. Most people who are really confident shouldn't be, and a lot of times those that aren't should be. There is no rhythm or reason to it. Fact is... there is someone out there for everyone. It just might not be the "someone" your looking for, but it couldn't hurt to give it a shot.
Shygirl15 Posted June 19, 2008 Posted June 19, 2008 I won't embarrass myself too much, but will tell you I was a virgin until I was 35. Wow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Pluto Posted June 19, 2008 Posted June 19, 2008 Wow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why are you surprised, approximately 3.6 million people in the world will die virgins in every generation, at least he did it. Mr Newton never had sex and most Buddhists Monks do not have sex either.
carhill Posted June 19, 2008 Posted June 19, 2008 Wow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Read my journals to understand better. The only constant in life is change.
Pluto Posted June 19, 2008 Posted June 19, 2008 Read my journals to understand better. The only constant in life is change. Don't waste your time, I wouldn't be shocked if the people who said wow, lost theirs at 18 or younger.
Shygirl15 Posted June 19, 2008 Posted June 19, 2008 Read my journals to understand better. The only constant in life is change. I will definitely read. I'm sorry if my Wow sounded inappropriate but quite frankly I never knew that stuff existed in real life, only in movies, like 40-year virgin or something .. And I have read many of your posts, to which you sound very experienced in relationships..wait a minute.. you're not 70yrs old, are you?
Shygirl15 Posted June 19, 2008 Posted June 19, 2008 Don't waste your time, I wouldn't be shocked if the people who said wow, lost theirs at 18 or younger. You're right on spot, Venus () I lost mine at 15, so had every right to be shocked with Carhill's statement.
audrey_1 Posted June 19, 2008 Posted June 19, 2008 If I lost my virginity at 35, that would mean I would have two more years as a virgin to cherish. Which wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing...assuming I could make up for lost time with a better head on my shoulders. 17 is far, far too young to have sex. Plus, I was busted by my mom after the first time (who was supposed to be gone until late afternoon that day!!!). I'm 49. No worries. I made up for lost time
carhill Posted June 19, 2008 Posted June 19, 2008 Oh, I didn't say I had a better head on my shoulders TBH, I've learned more real tools for a healthy R in the last 10 months in MC than I had in all the years prior. One is never to old too learn and grow The best lesson I learned from waiting, IMO, is to really know myself and that, for me, sex is an expression of the essence of who I am. I know it's different for everyone, but understanding that personal truth has been important for me. On-topic, I don't find LS depressing at all. I've learned tons here. Hope I've helped a few folks along the way too. There's a lot of joy in helping
shanny Posted June 19, 2008 Posted June 19, 2008 I don't understand why 5'9" is a bad thing... I actually strongly prefer guys 5'10 or shorter. Yes I am short (5'3) but still, I find super tall lanky guys totally unattractive. I actually dated a guy once who was only an inch taller than me. Seriously... it's all how you work it!
electric_sheep Posted June 19, 2008 Posted June 19, 2008 17 is far, far too young to have sex. Ha. I think all the best sex I had was before the age of 20. All those hormones, all that lust, the ability to go 3 times in a row without losing it (no lie!), an erection like an iron mast, the delirious compulsivity of youth combined with the thrill and excitement of thinking I might get caught. Man, I miss those days. But... being a guy, there was/is no societal guilt complex heaped on me for having sex. My "worth" as a human being wasn't diminished by my non-virgin status... except in a few radical religious circles, but I was never religious. If anything, my value went up. In short... I had no psychological hiccups to deal with.
D-Jam Posted June 19, 2008 Posted June 19, 2008 Now normally i do not post on webiste forums, i usually just lurk and read. I am your typical shy/no confidence guy, i came here to read other's topics and maybe get an idea what i need to do to be good at the dating game, and i came across this thread http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t155261/ and it really ticked me off because i not the tallest guy in the world, i am 5'9 which is average i guess, honestly i just give up at this point on trying to find a gf, its too much freakin hassle. *EDIT* FOR GODS SAKES IM 21 AND NEVER BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP, LET ALONE EVER KISSED A GIRL! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME!!!??? Complain all you want, but what good is it going to do you? What do YOU do personally to make yourself more appealing to women? Do you think your height is the only thing that will stop you? Biggest problems I've seen with guys who complain how they are hitting their 20s or even 30s and never had a date, kiss, and/or sex is that you really look at them and seem to think they don't have to do anything to make themselves appear attractive to the women they want. When I got out of high school, I was overweight, shy, a little goofy, and not very socially skilled. It showed I didn't have a way with the ladies because they all ran from me and chased after the horrible guys that always hurt them. Over my 20s, I changed myself up a bit until I discovered who I was fashionably. I went out more to be sociable and meet people, and learn how to strike up conversations, be more relaxed, and not feel like it's so impossible. I had a few girlfriends as well, but they were all headcases that ended up in failure. It wasn't until I hit my early 30s that I finally woke up and realized a few things about myself. I was overweight, dressed more "skater" than adult, still had fears of rejection, and kept pursuing women with my average self that didn't want me, but the above average "alpha males". Regardless if those "alpha males" were good men or not, I realized I was NOT the kind of man that would be desirable to the kinds of women I wanted. Likewise, I also realized what kinds of women I really wanted, and what kinds of women I thought I wanted, but would more hurt me. I stopped thinking hot girls at the clubs were the "ideal women". I stopped going to the clubs altogether and started exploring other social avenues. I also changed up my lifestyle and lost 35 lbs. I tossed out the baggy skater clothes and started reading GQ and Details...learning how to dress better and more flattering to my body as it is. Some of my friends think I've become a "prettyboy", but when I hear women say "my friend thinks you're hot", that's flattery to me. Do I have a girlfriend right now? No. My reasons stem mostly on being busy finishing a graduate degree, but I do feel more confident and secure in myself. Plus I have better vision on what kind of woman I want in my life. I'm not out trying to make myself look all "hot" in the hopes of getting one of those hot club women. I'm out looking great for the sake of me. I am sociable in the hopes that I do meet that good girl who takes care of herself and has a stable mind with a good heart. Point is, I asked you a big question in this reply, and I answered them in terms of myself: What do YOU do personally to make yourself more appealing to women? I work out, dress better, make myself "pretty" for the kinds of women I want, learned and practice social skills, not prioritize my life on finding a woman, built my life into being a catch, and pretty much enjoy my life as it is. Women will be more attracted to a man who's comfortable in his own skin rather than a guy who will do anything to get said woman. Right now a friend of a friend thinks I'm cute. She added me on myspace and we're talking. I'm not sitting here hoping and thinking this could be the next girlfriend...but more taking it as it is, and being careful that she's not a flake or headcase. In the end, she's gotta love me for who I really am...but I do present myself in my best light. You need to do the same. I see too many complainers who are very fat, dress terribly, only have interests and hobbies in geeky male-dominated solitary things, and then complain why the hottest women won't date them. You have to present yourself in your best light...be something these women would want. Not complain that the world is unfair.
Author Bloodelf Posted June 20, 2008 Author Posted June 20, 2008 When i posted this thread i was a little mad, I am okay now. I am not overweight if thats what your thinking, im 5'9 and 145lbs which is 21.6 bmi. I am not hideous, i just lack cofidence, and am not so good at socializing.
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