Lucasarts Posted June 17, 2008 Posted June 17, 2008 As I've been happily living the single life, enjoying the freedom, the solidarity, and the many different types of girls out there, I've been running into a problem that has only been getting more frequent. I enjoy talking to girls, I love them for everything they are, yet I still cannot figure them out entirely nor do I believe I ever will. The problem I've been encountering may or may not be common, but I find it quite disturbing; why are girls with boyfriends/significant others openly making advances to/on me? I'm not flirting with these girls, in fact, I try my best to be as un-emotional and rude to them as I can. I don't give them compliments, I never ask them to do anything with me, I never touch them, I don't laugh at their jokes, I point out their flaws, I don't even listen to what they say nor do I care, and sometimes I'll try to be as awkward as possible with them. Nothing seems to drive them off, as they still keep coming back and constantly stroking my arm, complaining about how they want a new man in their life, blah blah blah, telling me how cute I am, and always asking to do stuff with them. I'm seriously not interested in being involved with a girl, let alone someone who has a man in her life already; I've made this clear to them, yet I still get these same interactions. I'm getting sick of it, I don't mind getting attention from girls, just as long as they are single. What the hell am I supposed to do?
Lucky555 Posted June 18, 2008 Posted June 18, 2008 maybe because your attractive and they want you. so no matter what you do these women will want you. Feel good and remember you have the choice and they don't.
zicke Posted June 18, 2008 Posted June 18, 2008 maybe because your attractive and they want you. so no matter what you do these women will want you. Feel good and remember you have the choice and they don't. Why don't the women have a choice? They can choose to be attracted to him or not be attracted to him. They can choose to cheat or not to cheat. They can choose to flirt or not to flirt. The only thing they cannot choose is his attraction to them. In that respect, if they choose to flirt with him and they have a boyfriend, they've made a choice right?
Prodigal Princess Posted June 18, 2008 Posted June 18, 2008 They are attracted to you because you are clearly emotionally (and indeed, physically) unavailable. Big turn on for women in their 20s.
TheSilentType Posted June 18, 2008 Posted June 18, 2008 I can understand your situation a little, because it has happened to me often as well. It really ends up confusing me, because they flirt pretty blatantly at times. One has even made an indirect hint at sex, even after she introduced me to her boyfriend the day before. The weird thing is that I can't ever get girls that are single to flirt like that with me. It seems like whenever a girl likes me who is single, she's often too shy to do anything. And its tough for me too to deal with girls who are shy. So I dont end up being as relaxed as I do when those girls with bf are flirting with me.
Prodigal Princess Posted June 18, 2008 Posted June 18, 2008 I think one of the reasons that girls who are attached flirt with guys who are clearly not interested is that it's a safe bet; she can flirt away with a clear conscience, because she knows that he will not turn around and expect her to follow up.
imbewildered Posted June 18, 2008 Posted June 18, 2008 I'm not flirting with these girls, in fact, I try my best to be as un-emotional and rude to them as I can. I don't give them compliments, I never ask them to do anything with me, I never touch them, I don't laugh at their jokes, I point out their flaws, I don't even listen to what they say nor do I care, and sometimes I'll try to be as awkward as possible with them. Nothing seems to drive them off, as they still keep coming back and constantly stroking my arm, complaining about how they want a new man in their life, blah blah blah, telling me how cute I am, and always asking to do stuff with them. What the hell am I supposed to do? ha ha ! In spite of the fierce denials which are about to follow this reply, you are experiencing FIRST HAND women's deep attraction to INDIFFERENCE in a man like you. YOur "offhanded" and even rude dismissal of them triggers off their DESIRE for the ALPHA MAN that they detect in you. THis is the "bad boy "effect. The attraction that they feel is primal and outside of their ability to regulate, manage or control it. ATTRACTION is not a choice ,it is an involuntary emotional response to a pleasurable external stimulus. If you want to stop it in its tracks, fawn over them and express your emotions as if you are a "caring sensitive guy " . You will not get another second glance or you will be rapidly and harmlessly dropped into the FriendZone. TRy it and you will believe.
Krytie TV Posted June 18, 2008 Posted June 18, 2008 I'm not flirting with these girls, in fact, I try my best to be as un-emotional and rude to them as I can. I don't give them compliments, I never ask them to do anything with me, I never touch them, I don't laugh at their jokes, I point out their flaws, I don't even listen to what they say nor do I care, and sometimes I'll try to be as awkward as possible with them. You have them more figured out than you give yourself credit for. There is a significant subculture of women that when faced with this, feel a need to "work" you for validation that they can get you to like them. Pointing out flaws to your typical "bar girl" is a great way to get her interested, because she's so used to hearing how hot she is.
Author Lucasarts Posted June 18, 2008 Author Posted June 18, 2008 Interesting point Krytie, however, these girls are already in relationships and wouldn't think to be classified as your normal "bar girl" types. I've been around many types of girls, most of whom seem to respond very well to the a-hole side of me.There is the a-hole side that is trying to win the girls affections (which I use on single girls I like) and the a-hole side that is just not pleasant at all (which I use on girls who are attached). Also not all these girls are "hot" or "beautiful," some are a bit above average and "cute." I do find it interesting that women are always vying for the attention and approval of men, whether it be their significant other, or just another co-worker/peer. imbewildered: I did try this experiment with one of the girls, being the nice guy and such and seeing if it would turn her off. I just did the simple gentleman things, never really intruding on her personal life, just being friendly and re-assuring. Unfortunately it only made her more encouraged to say things to me that should only be spoken in a bedroom. Now every time we see each other, she is always asking me how she looks, asking me what my plans are, and if she should break up with her boyfriend (for me). Prodigal Princess: I actually thought this was true as well, in the beginning stages. However, as I simply rebuff and keep ignoring their advances, it only seems to make them come back stronger and more often. I don't even give them my phone number, but somehow they still obtain it and call me. I know flirting is one thing, but this is making open advances and practically begging for more. I can't even smile at them anymore, the few rare times I ever did. I always thought women liked guys with some personality. . . so why is it that when I'm trying to convey as little emotion and personality as possible to them, they still think that I like them? I don't give them ANYTHING. When I did, it only got worse. But I guess its true what you're saying about girls in their 20's (early) who like emotionally and physically unavailable men; cause that's what age all these girls are.
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