v33 Posted June 17, 2008 Posted June 17, 2008 Seeing that things are really over, I really have no more desire to be tempted to think about and miss her by looking at old pictures, reading cards and letters, etc. I know that my past with her was a big part of my life and I don't want to regret not being able to remember those 4 years, the times with and without her, when I am old and grey....but at the same time I don't think I will look back fondly upon the relationship. I will always have some memories, which I hope will fade in time, and certainly there are the lessons I have learned. Those I want to keep and I don't need pictures to remind me of them. If I delete the pics, shred the cards and letters, will I regret it one day? If we someday become friends will I feel guilty for what I have done? Even if we never speak again, will I want to remember in 10 years what we shared? I trashed a lot of things she gave me, but there are a few more hanging around that I found recently. I'm torn. It could help push me on to the next level of my life or it could make me feel petty if I get rid of them. Any experiences to share, folks?
CaliGuy Posted June 17, 2008 Posted June 17, 2008 Box every reminder and store it somewhere not easy to get to. Many years later you can decide to toss it -- when you're ready. No need to throw it away now but at some point I am sure you will want to. Just make it not available to your eyes right now.
kizik Posted June 17, 2008 Posted June 17, 2008 V, I put all the photos of her and I in a bag. Put the bag in the corner of my closet. I've known my ex since we were 12. We wrote letters to each other when she was in Paris, in England. When I was in Spain. I have kept all those letters, despite the fact that we broke up at one point. I'm glad I did. I don't read them, but it's nice to have that artifact. Proof of love. I wouldn't recommend trashing everything. Put it away. You'll come back to it one day when you're over it, and be happy you didn't burn all that reminded you of her.
Author v33 Posted June 17, 2008 Author Posted June 17, 2008 Interesting. I was thinking it might be therapeutic to get rid of things for good. In the meantime I will pack them somewhere hard to get to.....I'll think it over later. The pictures are just data, I can zip them up and burn them to a disc.
carrotgirl Posted June 18, 2008 Posted June 18, 2008 V, You can have two sides of the story here because I know both... I saved the pics and a few, but not many, of the letters. The rest went out with the trash, including the birthday gifts he worked so hard to please me with, the toys he got for Cat, a lot of clothes he likes to see me in and some shirts we designed together. And I threw away his pillow. More recently when I was angry, I threw away some other gifts he gave me this spring. I've had no regrets. Now GD, who broke up with me last year, saved everything (everything! from a tube of lube to my old tennis shoes) in a big box that he put in the back of his closet next to the other boxes of crap from girls he's kicked to the curb. When we are in an "on again" phase, he takes things out and has them near. When we're "off again" they go back in the closet. I don't touch them. I don't even acknowledge them. Carrot
LikeCharlotte Posted June 18, 2008 Posted June 18, 2008 I deleted and destroyed everything. I might have some things I haven't found but nothing I'm worried about. I've never done that before. I just wanted all reminders gone forever. I think I did the right thing. In the past I just put select things away until a later date. It has always worked for me.
Nevermind Posted June 18, 2008 Posted June 18, 2008 I threw away his few presents. What he had in my place, I had sent him before. The only thing I was reluctant to let go was the ring, but it was the right choice. He had slipped it on my finger in the store. Just like..well, let's not go there. So, there is no physical evidence left. I also deleted all the pictures that were on the hard drive. This I did sobbing. I still miss them, but it was a wise choice. Maybe, one day, I'll ask him to send me a copy. But for now, it is better as it is.
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