Jaymac388 Posted June 17, 2008 Posted June 17, 2008 I've been dating this guy for a few weeks now. He's really nice, we have a lot in common, and he's always such a gentleman on dates. He's even started asking me to hang out with him and his friends for movie nights and stuff (and when we hung out just this weekend, he and I finally held hands ). the problem being, i worry too much. i have a great time while i'm with him, but im such a worrier that after we part ways, i'm constantly questioning if i said the wrong thing or how he's really feeling. for example, with the hand holding: before, we had only hugged at the end of dates. he had a movie night and a few of his friends came over. he kept moving closer to me on the couch, then i felt him rub my hand, so i grabbed it. i then worried about if that was too forward of me, so i texted him the next day and apologized, and he said that there was no need to apologize, that it wasn't awkward, and thanked me for hanging out. normal people would take this as a good answer. i, however, worry about the fact that he said "thanks for hanging out". he says this after most dates. although, in his defense, we're usually around other people when we're parting ways (my family, his friends/family, etc.), so maybe he just is awkward and doesn't know what to say. he's been engaged before (about a year and a half ago), and has talked to me about how he's interested and wants to date me but wants to take things slow. i also worry about the fact that he always says he'll "talk to me later" at the end of the date, which i would normally take as a bad omen, except he always does end up calling, we end up talking and flirting and spending a good amount of time together. also, whenever he's come over here, my sister (who is a few years older), is home, and whenever he invites me out with his friends, he always says that it's ok to bring her if i want to. this sort of makes me feel like he doesn't want to see just me, but then again, he only asks me when it's a group, so it maybe makes me wonder if there's a guy in his group he's trying to set her up with or something. all in all, he's a great guy, and i hate the fact that i can't just be happy with the way things went, the flirty things he said, and the fact that he seems to like spending time with me and that we have a lot in common. i constantly worry that i've said something wrong, but then when i question it with him, i feel like i made things worse. does it sound like he's interested overall, and what should i do to stop the madness???
carhill Posted June 17, 2008 Posted June 17, 2008 Try venting your angst with a girlfriend. Do not antagonize the men in your friend zone with this stuff...blech Relax....enjoy this time. When you're 50 and married many years, you'll wonder "what was I thinking?" about all this stuff and wonder where that part of you went
A.G.Doren Posted June 17, 2008 Posted June 17, 2008 I've been dating this guy for a few weeks now. He's really nice, we have a lot in common, and he's always such a gentleman on dates. He's even started asking me to hang out with him and his friends for movie nights and stuff (and when we hung out just this weekend, he and I finally held hands ). the problem being, i worry too much. i have a great time while i'm with him, but im such a worrier that after we part ways, i'm constantly questioning if i said the wrong thing or how he's really feeling. for example, with the hand holding: before, we had only hugged at the end of dates. he had a movie night and a few of his friends came over. he kept moving closer to me on the couch, then i felt him rub my hand, so i grabbed it. i then worried about if that was too forward of me, so i texted him the next day and apologized, and he said that there was no need to apologize, that it wasn't awkward, and thanked me for hanging out. normal people would take this as a good answer. i, however, worry about the fact that he said "thanks for hanging out". he says this after most dates. although, in his defense, we're usually around other people when we're parting ways (my family, his friends/family, etc.), so maybe he just is awkward and doesn't know what to say. he's been engaged before (about a year and a half ago), and has talked to me about how he's interested and wants to date me but wants to take things slow. i also worry about the fact that he always says he'll "talk to me later" at the end of the date, which i would normally take as a bad omen, except he always does end up calling, we end up talking and flirting and spending a good amount of time together. also, whenever he's come over here, my sister (who is a few years older), is home, and whenever he invites me out with his friends, he always says that it's ok to bring her if i want to. this sort of makes me feel like he doesn't want to see just me, but then again, he only asks me when it's a group, so it maybe makes me wonder if there's a guy in his group he's trying to set her up with or something. all in all, he's a great guy, and i hate the fact that i can't just be happy with the way things went, the flirty things he said, and the fact that he seems to like spending time with me and that we have a lot in common. i constantly worry that i've said something wrong, but then when i question it with him, i feel like i made things worse. does it sound like he's interested overall, and what should i do to stop the madness??? Is he chaste? I know that maybe a weird question, but it would explain some of his behaviour: inviting your sister for a chaperone and dealing with largely in group settings. His behavior actually sounds like what is recommended in a book I read. As for the overanalyzing I've been guilty of that. Honestly you should just commit to taking every thing at face value at this point. Sometimes we jump to negative conclusions when a person we like does something we don't expect,that puts negative energy into a budding relationship.
Author Jaymac388 Posted June 17, 2008 Author Posted June 17, 2008 Is he chaste? I know that maybe a weird question, but it would explain some of his behaviour: inviting your sister for a chaperone and dealing with largely in group settings. His behavior actually sounds like what is recommended in a book I read. As for the overanalyzing I've been guilty of that. Honestly you should just commit to taking every thing at face value at this point. Sometimes we jump to negative conclusions when a person we like does something we don't expect,that puts negative energy into a budding relationship. We actually are both Christians, which is one of the things we have in common. I consider us both to have pretty high moral standards (no drinking, sex before marriage, etc.). He has also mentioned that he's rushed relationships in the past (he's been engaged) and that it hasn't ended well, so he's wanting to take things slow.
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