Cherry Blossom 35 Posted June 18, 2008 Posted June 18, 2008 I will bet London to a Brick that he is now playing YOU at your own game . I guarantee that this stupid game that you played for 5 years, believing that you are "in control" has now backfired on you,. I guarantee that he is full of resentment at this outrage that you pulled, and so he should be,. The fact that he did not dump your azz for doing this indicates that he has little self respect and no confidence in his ability to stand up to you. His "lack of sex drive " is his passive aggressive way of getting even with you. Is your real name SpideyChick?
Kasan Posted June 18, 2008 Posted June 18, 2008 I sometimes wonder how couples think marrying each other will solve the pre-existing problems they had prior to the marriage. Unfortunately loving each other isn't enough to sustain a marriage. There is a reason that your partner doesn't desire sex with you. Is it because of you or because of him? I dunno, but you need to ask him the hard questions and don't allow him to tiptoe around the answers. The answers are simply too important to your future. Marriage is hard enough, without the missing component of a healthy sex life. Resentments build and fester and can erode a marriage quicker than you can know. You would be surprised what gets blurted out in a heated argument. The tangle of legs and limbs can build on the foundation of marriage though intimacy. We all crave human touch and to be in a marriage with someone who doesn't desire it, would be unbearable. It is written about all over this board. I would really think long and hard about marrying this man. Sexual compatibility is a key element to a successful marriage, and IMO it doesn't really matter at this stage of the game the reasons why he doesn't enjoy sex with you, just the fact that he doesn't. Good luck...............
Author Fuchsiaeyelashes Posted June 18, 2008 Author Posted June 18, 2008 I will bet London to a Brick that he is now playing YOU at your own game . I guarantee that this stupid game that you played for 5 years, believing that you are "in control" has now backfired on you,. I guarantee that he is full of resentment at this outrage that you pulled, and so he should be,. The fact that he did not dump your azz for doing this indicates that he has little self respect and no confidence in his ability to stand up to you. His "lack of sex drive " is his passive aggressive way of getting even with you. Okay. It wasn't like for 5 years I teased him. He has wanted me for 5 years before we started dating. I didn't start teasing him until months before we started to date. That was part of the dating game. And I know he doesn't hold resentment for me. I am not an evil women, all I want is more [sIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]Enthusiastic sex. Not pity sex, or just to get her away from me sex. I want both of us to enjoy it. We have lived with each other for awhile now, we are comfortable with each other. There really is no "games" going on. Just daily life. And thats what I think is the problem. He doesn't want to play anything.[/FONT][/sIZE]
carhill Posted June 18, 2008 Posted June 18, 2008 Most dating couples are on their best behavior. When the ring is on, who they really are comes into fruition. And if a lack of sex is bothering you now, it will be much worse after you get married. <snip> I am sure the married couples in here can confirm or deny this theory. Oh, yeah, affirmative. Have I mentioned "cancel the wedding" enough?
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted June 18, 2008 Posted June 18, 2008 I sometimes wonder how couples think marrying each other will solve the pre-existing problems they had prior to the marriage. Unfortunately loving each other isn't enough to sustain a marriage. There is a reason that your partner doesn't desire sex with you. Is it because of you or because of him? I dunno, but you need to ask him the hard questions and don't allow him to tiptoe around the answers. The answers are simply too important to your future. Marriage is hard enough, without the missing component of a healthy sex life. Resentments build and fester and can erode a marriage quicker than you can know. You would be surprised what gets blurted out in a heated argument. The tangle of legs and limbs can build on the foundation of marriage though intimacy. We all crave human touch and to be in a marriage with someone who doesn't desire it, would be unbearable. It is written about all over this board. I would really think long and hard about marrying this man. Sexual compatibility is a key element to a successful marriage, and IMO it doesn't really matter at this stage of the game the reasons why he doesn't enjoy sex with you, just the fact that he doesn't. Good luck............... Read this again. She's right. Do you think he's having ambivalent thoughts about the wedding? I really think you should postpone this. Give yourselves some time to work this out. You may be thinking, but the invitations have already gone out! Flights are booked! But guess what, divorce is a hell of a lot more expensive and emotionally draining. I know you love him, but how is your love going to be nurtured in a relationship in which you feel ugly and insecure? Resentful and frustrated?
imbewildered Posted June 19, 2008 Posted June 19, 2008 Okay. It wasn't like for 5 years I teased him. He has wanted me for 5 years before we started dating. I didn't start teasing him until months before we started to date. That was part of the dating game. [/FONT][/sIZE] THis is a vastly different version of how you behaved according to your first post. You gloated quite proudly in that post, and now your are retreating and telling quite a different tale. Which do we believe.? Anyways, now the whole situation is flipped. You want him to have sex with you and he is uninterested. Personally I think that neither of you is suitable to be in the business of marriage. He has too low desire and you are too immature.
GPFan Posted June 19, 2008 Posted June 19, 2008 Oh well, I suppose someone has to keep divorce attorneys busy. People refuse to believe, until it happens to them, that vexing issues whilst dating become major disturbances in a long-term commitment or marriage. One-month until the wedding is the driving force here, not any concern nor care for the long-term happiness of either one of them. Of course, by the time divorce is decided on a couple of innocent others are thrown into the mix (the children). No matter how often this scenario is repeated, warned against, no one seems to 'get' it. So repeat after me, "a set date for a ceremony trumps all." If I say it enough maybe it will make sense to me too.
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