FFTango Posted June 17, 2008 Posted June 17, 2008 Hi, --the title to this thread should be Need female ADVICE etc. (something went wrong there during posting..) I'm new to the forum and I need some female perspective on my situation, since I don't have a lot of female friends and my male friends seem to differ on the subject. This is my current situation (powerfully summarized): The girl I'm seeing and I have a history (you could call it a dormant fire): Date 1; we have drinks after she accidentally (I believe her) calls me instead of some other guy with the same name. Great date, she spends the night, we just fool around Date 1,5 (unplanned); we go to the beach, fool around a lot, have drinks in town and then we go our seperate ways official date 2, actually date 3; she likes dancing and told me on date one she would like to learn the tango, I arrange a private lesson (after I take her out to have dinner). Again, great date (we dance well together, she's very talented) I spend the night at her place after she introduces me to some friends. Again we just fool around (allthough I hint and try to instigate more) After date 2 I feel like somebody threw a can of gasoline on our dormant fire and I want to see her every day. I text her a lot (probably to much, but sometimes it's hard to temper my enthousiasm) and I like her a lot and want her as my girlfriend. She is very busy with graduating (as am I) and generally pondering her future. I called to see her again on wednesday and she told me 'it' is all a bit sudden and overwhelming clear out of the blue and she can't really cope with it very well. She wants to meet after a period of 12 days(!). I emailed her to tell her I understand and we'll meet then. Here's the advice I need: a. She seems to question my intentions and think I'm some sort of player (I'm not bad with women, but definitely no 'player'), how do I convince her of my intentions and the fact I 'm not a player? b. Should I surprise visit her? (suggestion of one of my friends, but I don't think it's a good idea) c. I'm pretty sure she likes me, but i'm not sure she's up for something serious, how do I find out? Any suggestions are welcome and I would really appreciate some feedback..
blind_otter Posted June 17, 2008 Posted June 17, 2008 Hi, --the title to this thread should be Need female ADVICE etc. (something went wrong there during posting..) The words "advice" and "help" will not appear in thread titles here - I think it's the management's way of attempting to force us to be specific with our situations in thread titles, rather than asking for general help. Hell, we all need help. a. She seems to question my intentions and think I'm some sort of player (I'm not bad with women, but definitely no 'player'), how do I convince her of my intentions and the fact I 'm not a player? Hah, how old are you two? I remember thinking that about all men who pursued me when I was in college. I'd say just time, and having your actions match your words, will prove to her that you are not a player. b. Should I surprise visit her? (suggestion of one of my friends, but I don't think it's a good idea) Hell no, she asked for space. Respect that. If you randomly pop up out of nowhere it might look weird. c. I'm pretty sure she likes me, but i'm not sure she's up for something serious, how do I find out? Ask? I think that you are totally allowed to ask, considering that she's about to graduate and likely make some big life changes.
Author FFTango Posted June 17, 2008 Author Posted June 17, 2008 thx for the advice, was planning on giving her the space she needs and letting her decide the tempo, so no surprise visits then.., she's 25, I'm 28 btw
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