his heart, my guilt, what would you do?

[hugznkisses21]

Background:

 

Together 2 years - bought a home waiting for it to be built then we will live together for the first time. Im very excited and plan to marry my bf someday soon

 

(please do not judge my morals on the above matter the post is not about that)

 

Yesterday was our 2 year anniversary. My bf and I have had a rocky relationship...it hasnt been easy. We have had amazing time and then tears, stress and hurt. We have never intentional hurt one another but i do have to say im very sensitive (since loosing my mom) and he is very impatient and has a temper at time (not the greatest combo some days) regardless we have atonne of love for eachother and continue to work on ourselves to build a better foundation for our future.

 

Both me and my by are under alot of stress and different times in our relationship. I work 2 jobs and live with ill granparents and he has a brother in rehab and a family that fights alot.

 

Last week his docotor sent him for more tests in regards to a heart condition. I have been extremely worried about him and get down thinking about how upset he must be. Well then i felt huge guilt - i think past to all the times i got him mad (by being overly sensitive) and pushed him and he would say things like you cause me stress, or phsically chest pains or you are going to give me a heart attack....I am fighting back tears thining about it now

 

This brings us to today....i feel like im a responsible for his heart problems and last night during our anniversary dinner he brought up our past and how its been rocky and he started to compare ourselve to my friends perfect relaitonship and it was such a downer - so when i talked to him later in the evening and really expressed concern about his feeling with us he got upset again and said i was stressing him out. All i thought was OH GOD his heart.

 

What am i doing to him....i dont know if i can live with the guilt of hurting his heart....or stress on his heart - i just dont know what to do - i cant be silent in a honest realtionship - what do i do?

 

A part of me think i should leave for his hearts sake

[hugznkisses21]

can anyone help me please

[shanny]

You didn't cause his heart condition. Heart problems are generally genetic... be easy on yourself. If every rocky relationship caused a heart condition no one would live past 25.