Isis1808 Posted June 17, 2008 Posted June 17, 2008 To get straight to the point. I have been in a rut about my BF lately, i just found out that i was right all along and that he has been lying to me and hiding something from me since the beginning of our relationship. Ive had the strongest gut feeling for a while now and his actions just didnt help at all. Well, now i dont trust his word and it's distroying our relationship, i dont want to leave him b/c i really want to be with him and love him but i just cant trust what he tells me anymore. He asked me that since i cant trust him does that mean that he cant trust me? and if thats the case then i need to prove it to him by showing him my personal email. So i told him that hes going to have to prove it to me by showing his email to me. After i said that he laughed and asked why, then backed out and said forget it. That just proved it all to me, in other words he told me that i shouldnt trust him. I dont understand why hes lying so much to me if hes really "not doing anything". Another thing is that we were talking about the names of our exes, so that we know if lets say we bump into one of them, but he conveniently forgot some of his exes names. I know there is this girl that texts him every once in a while and i just found out (not from him) that shes his ex (which he had forgotten her name). We had also agreed that we wouldnt keep contact with exes, yet he has this girl and another ex contacting him, which he said that he spoke to her (supposedly) about contacting him when hes in a relationship, but she still doesnt stop. Does this sound wrong/suspicious only to me? Should i ask him about his exes again?? Am i wrong for thinking this way about him? should i try to trust him?? Please Help!! I really dont want our relationship to end. P.S. We have a child together.
mas21 Posted June 18, 2008 Posted June 18, 2008 wow i feel like im in the same situation but the reverse. I am a ex, who didnt know that he had a gf because he never mentioned it to me. I found out through his friend. Also when asked whom he lives with, he ignored the question. But when put ont he spot one time on the phone for the first time in a year, and asked the question, i found out he lives with his gf. I feel terrible because i am not that kind of girl to mess up someones life or do that to another girl. As far as trust, i donno, because i would be hurt if i was in my ex's new gfs shoes. I am hurt that he would even not tell me because he knows im not a bitchy slutty girl to do that. Just make sure that u can really trust him, because this guy was the nicest guy ive ever dated... how nice huh?
Author Isis1808 Posted June 18, 2008 Author Posted June 18, 2008 Wow, at least now i cant blame his ex, because of your situation. This is can be the same thing, maybe she doesnt know that we live together. BUT, she does know that he has a child with me b/c she called him to congratulate him and "to talk about the baby", it is a possibility that she doesnt know that we're living together. **sigh** It hurts b/c i do love him so much and i want to trust him fully, but everyday is something new. I just found out that he has more than one ex that hes keeping contact with, but b/4 when i asked him about this specific girl, he never mentioned her being and ex until yesturday. I dont understand whats going thru his head. Why lie if hes not doing anything wrong??
mas21 Posted June 18, 2008 Posted June 18, 2008 maybe hes feeling alot of pressure, i mean if the baby wasnt planned. If you are being over bearing with stuff, it will just push him away to others. Dont worry about the ex's, give him his space and he will come back if its meant to be. When someone distances themselves, its our natural instinct to be like whats wrong, call a bunch or act differently. which pushing the person further again. What people should really do is give the person the space and they will come back.
Author Isis1808 Posted June 18, 2008 Author Posted June 18, 2008 Your totally right!! thanks so much. I want him to prove to me that i can really trust him before i actually decide to trust him and give him his space, but ill try to put all this nonsence aside and give him the benefit of the doubt. Thank you mas21!!!
critter909 Posted June 18, 2008 Posted June 18, 2008 I agree, give him some space. He may be under a lot of pressure because of the baby etc. Don't totally forget about it, but give him some time to work out his issues. I know from myself that if I push I usually never get what I want. You may end up making him do something he wasn't planning to by driving him crazy with this stuff.
v33 Posted June 19, 2008 Posted June 19, 2008 Look at the title of your post "I dont want to lose him!!". The person who cares least in the relationship has most of the power. Focus on yourself and forget about him. What will be, will be.
Author Isis1808 Posted June 19, 2008 Author Posted June 19, 2008 Thanks for the insight, i will do that. Ill give him some space and focus on myself and my issues. I guess what happens after that is all up to him and that will hopefully prove that i can trust him. Thanks
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