MaxManwell Posted June 17, 2008 Posted June 17, 2008 I know how to ask a girl out and in many different ways but I think now the best way might be to just drop a question in mid conversation " would you like to go out on a date". Otherwise you'll get confused and it becomes a back a forward game of each not knowing if the other is interested and the woman assuming the man is a mind reader, and visa versa. So what do you think ? next time I am out with a friend and some girls I could just start talking to one of them and flat out ask 'would you like to go out on a date'. Should I ask as many girls as possible ? I am confused as it is hard to tell what women want.
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted June 17, 2008 Posted June 17, 2008 Don't be so formal about it. "would you like to go on a date" comes off as a bit awkward, doncha think? If she is talking about movies, you can say, hey yeah, I love horror films. There's a new one downtown, wanna check it out? Ease into it.
Author MaxManwell Posted June 17, 2008 Author Posted June 17, 2008 Don't be so formal about it. "would you like to go on a date" comes off as a bit awkward, doncha think? If she is talking about movies, you can say, hey yeah, I love horror films. There's a new one downtown, wanna check it out? Ease into it. That sounds too casual though. I think I have the right kind of charm to be able to pull something clumsy like that off with style. I think formality would be good if you have just met her because it shows a strong sign of interest and she might find it exciting. An actual date rather than just any old movie as I know a lot of girls don't get asked out much.
Javelin Posted June 17, 2008 Posted June 17, 2008 I think formality would be good if you have just met her because it shows a strong sign of interest and she might find it exciting. In a way you could be right because she might think of it as a friendly gesture.. BUT! She might also find it overwhelming and rude, thus denying your invitation! I think you'd better take the subtle route and show interest along the way. For example, lets say it does work and she accepts! At this point she will be slightly confused as to what you're playing into, friendship or potential relationship?! Use this as your opportunity! Ask, if she wants to go out to dinner before the movie! - Doesn't have to be fancy, but a nice upbeat spot in town is recommended! ( If you get this far, great opportunity to score some well earned points in the gentleman's department! )
The Collector Posted June 17, 2008 Posted June 17, 2008 Women tend to find direct a little formal and lacking in mystery. A 'date' is all too often a chance for a woman to get free food and drink and reward the guy with a peck on the cheek if he's lucky. Dinner dates are to be avoided. The best approach is to say 'We should go out for a drink sometime' and if she's interested get her number and say 'I'll give you a call.' Then a few days later call and say 'I'm bored/free tonight, want to meet up for a drink in Bar Whatever?' If she says she's busy, arrange another time. Or when you are going someplace already invite her 'tag along' if she wants. Spontaneity, casualness and non-neediness are what attracts women. 'Do you want to go on a date?' is just flat and unexciting. Even if Brad Pitt or George Clooney asked a woman on a 'date' I bet she'd start going off him. She'd imagine him turning up with flowers or something, and wonder if he's really the 'alpha-with-too-many-options-already' she'd imagined. Tell me if I'm wrong girls.
Author MaxManwell Posted June 17, 2008 Author Posted June 17, 2008 Women tend to find direct a little formal and lacking in mystery. A 'date' is all too often a chance for a woman to get free food and drink and reward the guy with a peck on the cheek if he's lucky. Dinner dates are to be avoided. The best approach is to say 'We should go out for a drink sometime' and if she's interested get her number and say 'I'll give you a call.' Then a few days later call and say 'I'm bored/free tonight, want to meet up for a drink in Bar Whatever?' If she says she's busy, arrange another time. Or when you are going someplace already invite her 'tag along' if she wants. Spontaneity, casualness and non-neediness are what attracts women. 'Do you want to go on a date?' is just flat and unexciting. Even if Brad Pitt or George Clooney asked a woman on a 'date' I bet she'd start going off him. She'd imagine him turning up with flowers or something, and wonder if he's really the 'alpha-with-too-many-options-already' she'd imagined. Tell me if I'm wrong girls. hhhmmmm this is true the girls you describe are sluts i'm interested in nice girls not sluts
BrooklynBridge Posted June 17, 2008 Posted June 17, 2008 Women are very attracted to confidence. Approach with confidence, and it doesn't matter what words come out of your mouth. If she senses you're self-confident, she'll be into you initially. Done and done.
dreamergrl Posted June 17, 2008 Posted June 17, 2008 hhhmmmm this is true the girls you describe are sluts i'm interested in nice girls not sluts This is not true at all. Just dropping the bomb "do you want to go out on a date" when your meeting new girls is WAY to overwhelming. It's going to scare them off. Like everyone else said, ease into it. A girl you just met is going to be turned off by such directness - because you don't know them well. You don't know them well enough to know you want to "date" them. By asking to do something casually you can move into getting to know them. Save the charm for the actual date.
Author MaxManwell Posted June 17, 2008 Author Posted June 17, 2008 This is not true at all. Just dropping the bomb "do you want to go out on a date" when your meeting new girls is WAY to overwhelming. It's going to scare them off. Like everyone else said, ease into it. A girl you just met is going to be turned off by such directness - because you don't know them well. You don't know them well enough to know you want to "date" them. By asking to do something casually you can move into getting to know them. Save the charm for the actual date. I get to know them and they friends basket me. No, no thank you I will be the one picking this battlefield. I show the girl a taste of what I am like how affectionate, kind and supporting I can be yet also a bit of bastard who is forward and decisive. If she is interested she will go on a date and I save having to get to know her and becoming attached. Causing myself pain and making other more deserving women, who didn't catch my eye before her miss out.
dreamergrl Posted June 17, 2008 Posted June 17, 2008 Why do you ask advice if you refuse to follow it?
Author MaxManwell Posted June 17, 2008 Author Posted June 17, 2008 Why do you ask advice if you refuse to follow it? I ask for advice I don't ask for people to run my life. I take into consideration everything that is said to me. What you just described I do is exactly what led me to my last problem with a girl. Getting to know her was a disaster. Sorry if I came across as abrupt but its not like I don't cop my fair share on here.
Kamille Posted June 17, 2008 Posted June 17, 2008 I personally don't think there is a definite set of rules that work for every girl. Personally, I like the idea of asking for her number first and then calling to ask her out. In my case, if I were indeed interested in the guy, I wouldn't respond too well to being an afterthought because someone is bored, or being asked out for that very same night. So I agree with you there. On the other hand, I would respond really well to: "I thought about you today, (xyz band we talked about playing on Tuesday) (my friend J told me that xyz movie we talked about was great) and I would love to take you." But again, that is me. My ex, who also happened to be very talented with the ladies, used to joke that being successful with women is all a matter of being 'always ready and a great acrobat', meaning, you have to assess what would work best with every girl.
dreamergrl Posted June 17, 2008 Posted June 17, 2008 You can't expect to get great advice if your not willing to share your story. People can only go off of what is said. Even with that, in dating, getting to know someone is part of the process, you can't just magically make something happen. We've all had bad experiences dating, that doesn't mean it's always going to be that way. Just because a girl didn't want to date you, doesn't mean it's always that way - but some attitude adjustments would help. I'm sorry but if you display half the attitude towards girls in real life as you do here, I wouldn't be surprised that you got rejected. You should listen to what's told to you and take it more seriously, otherwise if you continue to ask for advice but don't bother listening to it, or only hearing what you want to hear, people aren't going to want to help you.
Author MaxManwell Posted June 17, 2008 Author Posted June 17, 2008 I personally don't think there is a definite set of rules that work for every girl. Personally, I like the idea of asking for her number first and then calling to ask her out. In my case, if I were indeed interested in the guy, I wouldn't respond too well to being an afterthought because someone is bored, or being asked out for that very same night. So I agree with you there. On the other hand, I would respond really well to: "I thought about you today, (xyz band we talked about playing on Tuesday) (my friend J told me that xyz movie we talked about was great) and I would love to take you." But again, that is me. My ex, who also happened to be very talented with the ladies, used to joke that being successful with women is all a matter of being 'always ready and a great acrobat', meaning, you have to assess what would work best with every girl. I like that comment. What would make dating fun for me is knowing that I got to take a girl out who appreciated my efforts and knows that I think she was special compared to the other girls that I could have asked out. But yeah... that almost never happens women don't want to be treated nicely and they seldom appreciate anything..it is demented sometimes. Almost a case of 'lets do away with the formalities when they benefit you and keep them when the benefit me'. I like the idea of the formality and think the base getting to know you stage should be spent at a club or in conversation. I would still rather ask a girl out on that day. One of things I used to say was 'It was really nice talking to you I have to go now but I think you're a really nice girl and If you are not seeing anyone I'd like to take you out on a date'. This is bringing back memories and I am starting to get back my resentful feelings.
dreamergrl Posted June 17, 2008 Posted June 17, 2008 You can't expect to get great advice if your not willing to share your story. People can only go off of what is said. Even with that, in dating, getting to know someone is part of the process, you can't just magically make something happen. We've all had bad experiences dating, that doesn't mean it's always going to be that way. Just because a girl didn't want to date you, doesn't mean it's always that way - but some attitude adjustments would help. I'm sorry but if you display half the attitude towards girls in real life as you do here, I wouldn't be surprised that you got rejected. You should listen to what's told to you and take it more seriously, otherwise if you continue to ask for advice but don't bother listening to it, or only hearing what you want to hear, people aren't going to want to help you. Again - if you don't adjust your attitude with women, you're going to have problems. I like that comment. What would make dating fun for me is knowing that I got to take a girl out who appreciated my efforts and knows that I think she was special compared to the other girls that I could have asked out. But yeah... that almost never happens women don't want to be treated nicely and they seldom appreciate anything..it is demented sometimes. Almost a case of 'lets do away with the formalities when they benefit you and keep them when the benefit me'. I like the idea of the formality and think the base getting to know you stage should be spent at a club or in conversation. I would still rather ask a girl out on that day. One of things I used to say was 'It was really nice talking to you I have to go now but I think you're a really nice girl and If you are not seeing anyone I'd like to take you out on a date'. This is bringing back memories and I am starting to get back my resentful feelings.
Author MaxManwell Posted June 17, 2008 Author Posted June 17, 2008 You can't expect to get great advice if your not willing to share your story. People can only go off of what is said. Even with that, in dating, getting to know someone is part of the process, you can't just magically make something happen. We've all had bad experiences dating, that doesn't mean it's always going to be that way. Just because a girl didn't want to date you, doesn't mean it's always that way - but some attitude adjustments would help. I'm sorry but if you display half the attitude towards girls in real life as you do here, I wouldn't be surprised that you got rejected. You should listen to what's told to you and take it more seriously, otherwise if you continue to ask for advice but don't bother listening to it, or only hearing what you want to hear, people aren't going to want to help you. When women used to smile at me at my old work I'd look at them with distant hallow eyes and wonder why I should bother smiling back. I don't care some women out there are truly horrible and they're bordering on a majority. They don't respect or treat men well at all and I don't care about voicing that opinion because these women know what they're doing and know they can get away with it too. Yeah you might be good looking and you can call all the shots, but looks fade, and so will those women out of existence and when they're old alone and wondering what went wrong. I hope they can think of my words and know that I was right about them. I do not want to die alone. I don't even want to be alone right now; being single sucks. I want to compromise and I want to meet a nice girl. I do not want to have my life run and to be told how I should date by these plastic women want to bes that wouldn't know what a real woman was if they ran over one on the way to a 50% off Durex sale. Real women are kind and supportive and they don't try to turn every man into a wimp erring puppy dog. They don't mind being submissive and they're smart enough to know that doesn't infringe on my respect for her or her worth as a person. I don't know what you are like as a person really but I don't think either that agreeing or disagreeing with what people tell me is going to actually help my view of women; even if it is wrong.
FFTango Posted June 17, 2008 Posted June 17, 2008 That kind of direct approach doesn't work (99% of the times), she doesn't know you well enough and you might be a psycho playing huey lewis and the news while holding an axe after the suggested date. A good aproach (in my opinion) is not asking her directly for her number, but rather her email (this is easier (less scary) for her and she might give you her number afterall, because of you're non frightening approach). Then shoot her an email you had fun talking to her and suggest you have a cool plan for a date (let her guess 5 times, then tell her and ask her number)
FFTango Posted June 17, 2008 Posted June 17, 2008 BTW, if you really want to be with women, I would suggest at least feigning a different, more positive attitude, because even the non-plastic women with no urge to change men into puppies will go for a confident, positive guy... (I'm not telling you what to do, but it might be worthwhile considering some changes)
tanbark813 Posted June 17, 2008 Posted June 17, 2008 Why do you ask advice if you refuse to follow it? That's what I was thinking. Oh the irony of a guy who can't get women criticizing the advice about how to get women. Lose the formalities, Max.
carhill Posted June 17, 2008 Posted June 17, 2008 Oh the irony of a guy who can't get women criticizing the advice about how to get women. Yeah, and from women, no less. I'm pushing 50 here and quietly taking notes 1. Quiet self-confidence 2. Every woman is different. 3. Engage her emotions. 4. Most importantly, cup half full. Let the negatives of stereotype and/or past experience melt away.
morelaugh Posted June 17, 2008 Posted June 17, 2008 Should I ask as many girls as possible ? . . . What would make dating fun for me is knowing that I got to take a girl out who appreciated my efforts and knows that I think she was special compared to the other girls that I could have asked out. Why do you think she should feel special compared to the other girls you ‘could have asked out’? How do you show that to her? Ask as many gilrs as possible? Why? Are you so desperate? There is nothing that makes a girl feel more 'non-special' than a desperate man. I don't care some women out there are truly horrible I agree. Some men are truly horrible. Some women are trutly horrible. It’s simple, just ignore them – don’t ask them on a date. And don’t punish those that are not horrible just because some are. Real women are kind and supportive... Agree. They (real women) don't mind being submissive and they're smart enough to know that doesn't infringe on my respect for her or her worth as a person. Ooouch! No, they are not. In fact, most ‘real women’ will find this attitude offensive. I wouldn’t be surprised that this very expectation is your obstacle to finding a girlfriend.
Author MaxManwell Posted June 18, 2008 Author Posted June 18, 2008 Ooouch! No, they are not. In fact, most ‘real women’ will find this attitude offensive. I wouldn’t be surprised that this very expectation is your obstacle to finding a girlfriend. That makes no sense at all.
dreamergrl Posted June 18, 2008 Posted June 18, 2008 That makes no sense at all. Sure it does, your obstacle is your perception of women and what a real women consists of. Along with your attitude towards women. You wont get a good girlfriend with your attitude. How many posters need to point this out before your willing to take a step back and realize that you need to make some changes?
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