soulseeker Posted June 17, 2008 Posted June 17, 2008 my instincts tell me that this is harmless. She saw his car and left a note on it. They briefly dated years ago in another state. She is married. She asked him to meet for coffee. He told me that when she asked him on the phone, he made some excuse to call her back bc he wanted to ask me if I minded. I really dont mind for some reason. I guess I trust him. Am I being naive?
Jilly Bean Posted June 17, 2008 Posted June 17, 2008 If he was up to something, he never would have mentioned it. He sounds honest, decent, and like he REALLY cares about you. Now, erase these negative thoughts entirely!!!
Trialbyfire Posted June 17, 2008 Posted June 17, 2008 If you really don't mind, don't question it, otherwise you'll only get concerned about it. Your b/f is openly telling you about it so he's acting in good faith. If you're really concerned about it, tell him you'd like to join them.
xpaperxcutx Posted June 17, 2008 Posted June 17, 2008 His telling you about the meet confirms that your bf cares about your thoughts and your feelings about him seeing an ex. If you truly feel okay about it, then like trailbyfire says, don't question it.
missdeathwish Posted June 17, 2008 Posted June 17, 2008 Everybody else is right on. He's showing that he cares for your feelings and preferences. He's a keeper!
imbewildered Posted June 17, 2008 Posted June 17, 2008 I bet that you will be busting to know what they said and how SHE looked when you meet him after the coffee date.
lexi29 Posted June 17, 2008 Posted June 17, 2008 It's really good that he told you about this and asked if you minded. Like the others said if he was trying to hide something he wouldnt' have told you. However if they dated years ago in another state how did she recognize his car to put a note on it? Does he drive the same car or does she just live in the area now and saw him around town? You sound like you trust your boyfriend but obviously if you weren't a little hesitant about the situation why did you post here? Why the hesitation? Either you totally trust him or you don't. Are you worried about her motivation for meeting for coffee? Just because she is married doesn't mean she doesn't have bad intentions. But you only have to worry about your boyfriend's intentions and if you trust him then it should be no problem. Normally in situations like this any of my SO's would first introduce me to any of their female friends and then after we met he would go out for coffee or lunch alone with the friend. Maybe ask him to meet her first and you will be more comfortable with the situation.
Author soulseeker Posted June 17, 2008 Author Posted June 17, 2008 He does drive the same car. She left a note that asked if it were him. When he asked me about meeting for coffee, I said I didnt mind, that I trusted him, and that if she were to say "I love you" or some such thing, then obviously that will be the end of it. I said this lighthearted. He smiled and said that he would tell me if she said that. I do trust him. I have some lingering trust issues from my past. Part of the reason I posted is bc I cant believe this doesnt bother me more! Hence the "Am I being naive?"
Trialbyfire Posted June 17, 2008 Posted June 17, 2008 I don't know your b/f but there really are men who are trustworthy. Your b/f sounds like one of them, in that he's open about the situation. You'll find that people who have lingering romantic/sexual interest in anyone, would have hidden the meeting.
Art_Critic Posted June 17, 2008 Posted June 17, 2008 I don't think you are being naive.. if the ex was still single then I would change my opinion but she is married and as a married woman my bet is that she is just meeting him for coffee to catch up and nothing more.. He sounds like a trustworthy guy
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