purplepoodle Posted June 17, 2008 Posted June 17, 2008 Turns out he had Internet sex buddies the whole time we were together, which is what he has been trying to turn me into the past few months. He tells me that it's nothing, just getting off. Am I that hideous of a person that 1: He had to have them when we were together? 2: He thinks so little of me that he just wants to now have cybersex with me?
D-Lish Posted June 17, 2008 Posted June 17, 2008 It's not about what he thinks... it's about what you'll allow- or don't allow. If that is what he is asking for... he's a jerk- and not worth your time.
kizik Posted June 17, 2008 Posted June 17, 2008 1. Women don't understand something about guys: we don't think about you when we masturbate, and no matter how much "lovin" you give us, we're curious about how it'll feel from someone else. NOW - that does NOT excuse his behavior. It's KIND of cheating, what he did. But if you think about it, it's just words. "Suck my dick. Yeah baby oh..." to some stranger. You CERTAINTLY have the right to feel hurt. I am not "downplaying" your pain. I'm sorry for what you're going through. 2. That's very inappropriate that he is now requesting cybersex from you. He should have more respect for you, but you know what? You're not with him because he DOESN'T. You def. need to stop talking to this a s s hole.
D-Lish Posted June 17, 2008 Posted June 17, 2008 1. Women don't understand something about guys: we don't think about you when we masturbate, and no matter how much "lovin" you give us, we're curious about how it'll feel from someone else. So, you've never dated someone you were hot for and masturbated to the thought of a hot sex session with them? That's weird... all the guys I talk about sex with admit to such a thing. They admit this in conjunction with thinking about random people, porn stars, and hollywood celebs. I am all about masturbating to the idea of a Matt Damon/Ben Affleck sandwich... But I still, to this day masturbate to the memory of the guy that was exceptional at making me orgasm...
carhill Posted June 17, 2008 Posted June 17, 2008 Classic compartmentalization.... Likely better for you to find a real man who enjoys you in the here and now. Sorry about that
Trialbyfire Posted June 17, 2008 Posted June 17, 2008 He tells me that it's nothing, just getting off. That's pretty cold. You'll find quite a few men are like this, able to compartmentalize sex and caring. To me, cybersex is considered cheating, if you're in an exclusive relationship. What a jerk! You're so better off without him. You have to understand that it has nothing to do with who you are but who he is...nothing but a jerk...off!!
carhill Posted June 17, 2008 Posted June 17, 2008 Oh, on that "what do I think about" when masturbating, guys are as varied as they are individuals. In pure fantasy, without regard to morality, I think of those women who I've been very close to emotionally in my life, one at a time of course Seriously, for this male mutant, that closeness is far more important than big tits or prowess in bed. Also, kissing... a good kisser is always remembered
borelandkaren Posted June 17, 2008 Posted June 17, 2008 Turns out he had Internet sex buddies the whole time we were together, which is what he has been trying to turn me into the past few months. He tells me that it's nothing, just getting off. Am I that hideous of a person that 1: He had to have them when we were together? 2: He thinks so little of me that he just wants to now have cybersex with me? I'm so sorry to hear this,darl. U know what you have to do. Take care. Don't just settle.
ioncebelieved Posted June 17, 2008 Posted June 17, 2008 1. Women don't understand something about guys: we don't think about you when we masturbate, and no matter how much "lovin" you give us, we're curious about how it'll feel from someone else. Not necessarily true.. Well mine was LDR, so when I did that I would think of her. It may make me strange, it may make me different, but always I thought of her when I did that. I looked at porn but it increased my desire for her. May sound weird, but it is true.
Author purplepoodle Posted June 17, 2008 Author Posted June 17, 2008 It wasn't that he had the cybersex partners that bothers me, I feel it's just interactive porn, it's the fact that he hid it and the fact that the whole time we were together obviously meant nothing because he has so little respect for me as to try and make me into that. If our relationship meant anything, he'd have fond memories and enough respect to not want that from me.
motive2002 Posted June 18, 2008 Posted June 18, 2008 To me, cybersex is considered cheating, if you're in an exclusive relationship. I totally agree here. He cheated. Plain and simple. Draw your boundaries and stick to them. Having these boundaries will force you to sometimes make really tough decisions, but in the end you're left with something a lot of people don't have. Integrity. Better still, self respect and dignity. You will feel strong when you draw a line like this and never allow anyone to cross it. Your ex crossed that line and it's probably a good idea to cut off all contact. Feel free to tell him exactly why you're doing it too
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