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I'm falling back into some habits. I don't really know what to do about them. GD disappointed me and I responded by doing .... nothing. I withdrew. That is one of the things I told myself I would not do with GD anymore. And here I am doing it.

 

I spent a lot of time the past two days wanting GD to behave a certain way because I thought I wasn't getting what I wanted from him. Tonight I realized, I didn't give him squat to go on. He has no idea what I'm thinking or feeling because I haven't told him. I just expected him to put himself out for me because I felt like I already did that for him. But the thing is, he did put himself out for me. And today is a new day.

 

It's an unfair expectation that I couldn't fulfill and I still want GD to do it. When he doesn't, I'm pissed and I remove the Carrot. I took a big risk last week and said and did some things to let GD know how I felt and he didn't let me down then. He didn't let me down at all.

 

Why am I pulling back now?

 

Carrot

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