CandyGirlXO Posted June 17, 2008 Posted June 17, 2008 I am trying to deal with this break up as best as I can, but I have some really hard moments. All of my friends/family are basically tired of hearing about it, and I don't blame them. So here I am on LS to vent my frustrations. Basically I left my BF because we fought all of the time, and no matter how much we both said we would work on it, it kept on getting worse. I know it's the right thing to do, but it is hard. We have gone NC, except for once, and it has been one month. Here is what pisses me off the most about the whole situation. My family/friends do not like my EXBF, and that is fine. But a lot of that I think has to do with the fact that every time we would fight etc... I would complain to my friends/family. My friend says stuff to me like DO NOT call him, you don't need him in your life. You deserve so much better! But IMO my EXBF treated me soooo much better than my friends BF treats her and she still stays with him. And my mom says the same thing to me, "Oh if he loved you he would not have done that!" But I think the same thing about her relationship with my step-dad. My brother last night said to me, that the easy thing to do would to go back to him, and the MATURE thing to do would to move forward and realize we are not compatible. It just pisses me off that everyone expects me to be so strong and move forward, when them themselves are being hypocritical! It seems like a lot of people stay in R just because they are comfortable, and I am debating on whether or not I should do the same. Any REAL advice please? I love LS, I am so sick of my friends/family trying to help me out, when they are not showing me a good example in their own lives.
D-Lish Posted June 17, 2008 Posted June 17, 2008 I think your friends and family mean well because they see you are hurting. It may be hypocritical, but that doesn't negate the fact that they don't wish to see you in pain. If the two of you were fighting so much- it probably is best to take a step back and think long and hard about whether or not this relationship is healthy for you. All relationships are composed of good and bad moments- it's just a fact of being in a relationship. I think that when the bad moments start outweighing the good moments that it's smart to evaluate what it is you're getting out of the relationship. What would you tell your best friend if she was in the same situation as you? Would you encourage her to work it out- or move forward?
Author CandyGirlXO Posted June 17, 2008 Author Posted June 17, 2008 D-Lish Thanks for your reply... I agree they are just trying to help me because they do not want to see me in pain, but either way I am hurting. I will hurt by not calling him. I am always wondering if I have made the right choice. It's hard because I know all I have to do is call him and he would want to work things out with me. We would fight and he would say the nastiest things to me. I just couldn't take it anymore. I mean can things like that ever get better? I keep getting told that I need to stop wasting my time, and find someone that will respect me and be in a more mature R. But I feel so alone.
kizik Posted June 17, 2008 Posted June 17, 2008 All relationships are composed of good and bad moments- it's just a fact of being in a relationship. I think that when the bad moments start outweighing the good moments that it's smart to evaluate what it is you're getting out of the relationship. Great insight, D. Candy, your family is not being as supportive as they could, IMO. And it's b/c they've heard enough bad from you about him to form an opinion of him - a negative one. It's a Catch 22 that we talk to our families about our GF/BF, and then later they use it against us when we want OBJECTIVE PERSPECTIVE. You can get that here. Don't let them bother you, they just wanna help. They love you. But yeah, it sounds like being out of the R is best for you. -k
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