The guy I am dating claims I am the one but then disappears! Any Input for me?

[Jasmine777]

I just started dating a guy two weeks ago and we have gone on several dates and he was sooooo crazy about me! He was telling EVERYONE that I was the right girl, a keeper and so forth. He was talking about me moving with him out of state and talking about having a future with me which was so crazy. He took me on the nicest dates, we had such a romantic fun time! He was even taking little things like a coaster off the table to remember our date and he was also having people take our pictures. It seemed too good to be true!! I have been wanting to be with a nice guy considering the last guy I dated turned out to be such a jerk! This guy was proving to be everything I ever wanted. He is so well rounded, a nice guy, my family met him and loved him. He wanted me to meet his family. So one night he was so excited to have me meet his friends. I did and I was a little quiet because I was tired but he still acted like he was crazy about me. One of his friends told me that I was soo cool and thanks for hanging out with my friend. I had previously seen his dad and his dad was making weird jokes to me about cleaning his gun and that I better make sure his son was home early. His son is in his late 20s and so am I and I am very innocent. So anyways....the next day that I saw him he acted strange! He did not act like he liked me as much. He normally gave me a hug when he greeted me at the door and he didn't! He hasn't called me since that night and so I decided to text him. I texted him asking if he wanted to hangout and he texted me a nice text saying he was sick and even put a sad face on it. This happened yesterday and we have made no future plans to hangout again. So how does someone go from this is the one to not wanting to date me. I guess he still could call but what do you think of this situation? Should I call one more time or lay it to rest? Was it something I said or did? I have tried to rack my brain but I just can't figure it out! Does anyone have any input for me?

[Lizzie60]

I just started dating a guy two weeks ago and we have gone on several dates and he was sooooo crazy about me! He was telling EVERYONE that I was the right girl, a keeper and so forth. He was talking about me moving with him out of state and talking about having a future with me which was so crazy. He took me on the nicest dates, we had such a romantic fun time! He was even taking little things like a coaster off the table to remember our date and he was also having people take our pictures. It seemed too good to be true!! I have been wanting to be with a nice guy considering the last guy I dated turned out to be such a jerk! This guy was proving to be everything I ever wanted. He is so well rounded, a nice guy, my family met him and loved him. He wanted me to meet his family. So one night he was so excited to have me meet his friends. I did and I was a little quiet because I was tired but he still acted like he was crazy about me. One of his friends told me that I was soo cool and thanks for hanging out with my friend. I had previously seen his dad and his dad was making weird jokes to me about cleaning his gun and that I better make sure his son was home early. His son is in his late 20s and so am I and I am very innocent. So anyways....the next day that I saw him he acted strange! He did not act like he liked me as much. He normally gave me a hug when he greeted me at the door and he didn't! He hasn't called me since that night and so I decided to text him. I texted him asking if he wanted to hangout and he texted me a nice text saying he was sick and even put a sad face on it. This happened yesterday and we have made no future plans to hangout again. So how does someone go from this is the one to not wanting to date me. I guess he still could call but what do you think of this situation? Should I call one more time or lay it to rest? Was it something I said or did? I have tried to rack my brain but I just can't figure it out! Does anyone have any input for me?

 

Come on now.. you are both in your late 20s? I thought, from reading your post, that you were in high school..

 

Two weeks.. and you're jumping to conclusions that he's your soulmate... wow.. you're in for deception my dear... this guy is probably a 'real' player.. a pro... and he knows how to get a woman at his feet.. especially if he sensed (they always do) that you are naive.

 

Leave him alone if you don't want to get hurt by this player..

 

His friends thanked you cause they're probably tired of this 'jumping jack flash'

 

Just move on ... and, next time, beware of this 'type'..

[Trialbyfire]

He's either an early investor (infatuation which burns out quickly) or he's a player. I think he's the former, creating the fantasy woman in his mind.

 

You are one lucky girl to have found out in two weeks! Whether you believe me or not, better now than after you've also invested all the way.

[D-Lish]

I am soooo leery of guys that come on so strong like that.

It just screams "playah"... When a man acts like that so quickly- I walk away. He does sound like the type of guy that gets infatuated quickly and burns out fast.

 

There is something wrong when a person jumps out of the starting gate like that so fast. They say all the right things- get your hopes up... then they burn out and take off and do the same thing with the next person.

 

2 weeks is way too quick.

 

I remember dating a guy when I was young that jumped out of the starting gate in much the same manner... he was referring to me as his gf after our first date and he wanted to spend every waking moment with me and be in contact with me all day long... He'd call me 10 times a day!

I let my guard down and after a month he simply stopped talking to me- and that was it- I never heard from him again. It broke my heart, I was young and naive- I thought he was this special guy that loved me like crazy... I've never fallen for this type of person since that guy, I learned my lesson. I HAVE, however- met many guys like this since then. I just don't let them into my life.

 

He isn't some special, wonderful guy... he's a guy that does this habitually.

Please- walk away... He isn't who you think he is or hope him to be.

[Trialbyfire]

There is something wrong when a person jumps out of the starting gate like that so fast. They say all the right things- get your hopes up... then they burn out and take off and do the same thing with the next person.

Consider it an early emotional ejaculation!

[D-Lish]

Consider it an early emotional ejaculation!

 

:lmao:

[Jasmine777]

Why is it you always feel like you did something wrong though!? He kept saying you just know when you find the one, hint hint and stuff like that! He was trying to make me think that he found the one and then I was thinking well maybe he is the one! He took quite an interest in me and then took off. It makes you feel very insecure when that happens! I hate dating!!!!

[Template]

From a guys perspective, he sounds like a guy that likes the chase but not the catch. It's the journey that makes it all worthwhile for him, and as soon as he reaches the destination, it's all over. How do I know? I was once like that (don't hate me yet). His self respect is Dependant by a validation of your acceptance of him. I have no doubt he portrayed himself as a nice guy, but in reality he is dishonest and manipulative. The worst part; he does not realize this. I've learned this about myself years ago, and while I was slowly trying to change over the years, only recently have I found myself WANTING to break myself out of this habit, because I can identify when I am reverting back again (and it makes me personally feel like crap). It's really nothing you can do about it because as I found, only through self discovery can one really identify and change. Then again, it could be just me

[D-Lish]

Why is it you always feel like you did something wrong though!?

 

You feel like you did something wrong because you believed him to be something he truly isn't. He acts like a wonderful human being who compliments you and tells you everything you want to hear.... then when he grows tired of the game and disappears- you are left thinking this wonderful guy must see faults in you and that is why he left.

 

The truth, is that he plays this game for a living. You are a casualty of HIS problem- not your own flaws.

 

He kept saying you just know when you find the one, hint hint and stuff like that! He was trying to make me think that he found the one and then I was thinking well maybe he is the one! He took quite an interest in me and then took off. It makes you feel very insecure when that happens! I hate dating!!!!

 

Don't make the mistake of internalizing HIS faults and turning them into your own insecurities. I think your only mistake here was being a bit naive about what kind of guy he is. I was crushed by a guy like this when I was young... but I never fell for it again, and neither will you if you can see him for what he is.

[Jasmine777]

So I decided to call him just to see how he was and he claimed how busy and sick he had been. Then he called me a few days later acting all excited to talk to me and we planned to hangout on Thursday. Thursday rolled around and I had to call him around 7 to verify the plans because I never heard from him. He showed up at the place I was around 11:30 which was late and then we decided to hangout the next night. We had sooo much fun. We have a great connection! He said that he would call Sunday and maybe we would hangout and guess what!? He never called! What is up with him? I know that he will call either tonight or another night but what should I do from this point on? Not answer his phone calls? Play hard to get? Say this isn't working? The only reason why I give him the time a day is because we have a blast when we are together and we get a long so well. We have a really nice connection but he is not staying consistent, does anyone have any new advise? Should I drop him or should I see if he comes around after I play hard to get? I just got out of a long relationship so I am really not used to dating or liking anyone new so this is very new and confusing!

[df273]

So I decided to call him just to see how he was and he claimed how busy and sick he had been. Then he called me a few days later acting all excited to talk to me and we planned to hangout on Thursday. Thursday rolled around and I had to call him around 7 to verify the plans because I never heard from him. He showed up at the place I was around 11:30 which was late and then we decided to hangout the next night. We had sooo much fun. We have a great connection! He said that he would call Sunday and maybe we would hangout and guess what!? He never called! What is up with him? I know that he will call either tonight or another night but what should I do from this point on? Not answer his phone calls? Play hard to get? Say this isn't working? The only reason why I give him the time a day is because we have a blast when we are together and we get a long so well. We have a really nice connection but he is not staying consistent, does anyone have any new advise? Should I drop him or should I see if he comes around after I play hard to get? I just got out of a long relationship so I am really not used to dating or liking anyone new so this is very new and confusing!

 

I've only read this post, and going by just that, i think you should come out straight with him. Ask him why he is playing games? I have had friends that do this, and typically it is because they were juggling more then one woman.