mcgintygirl Posted June 16, 2008 Posted June 16, 2008 My ex is a strange bird. Kind of an Einstein and with that comes his issues ranging from past depression, some bipolar tendencies and the inability to ever say he's wrong. I am doing fantastically well, which I'm very proud of. The nature of the question here is what other's perceptions are on his actions. Background is I met him in 1997 when I was casually dating his friend. Large group of buddies I knew and have stayed in touch with for many years. This guy and I always had an attraction and were on and off. No one amongst friends really knew, we weren't sure what it was. Fast forward, he breaks up with a girl from a 3 yr relationship and is devestated beyond belief. We have been great friends and he had always come to me during dark times as he knew I was there through good and bad. Somehow, the attraction came back and we then ensued upon a year long relationship... but again, we stayed fairly quiet. We knew everyone would be so surprised and neither of us were ready for the panel of questions. Medical school comes in, we are still together. Until about the 2nd month in which he suddenly blows me off after I have some rough times at work. We stay friends, I'm frustrated. Find out that less than a week later he is dating someone in his class who is the genius and star athlete. Next they are together and he even says he is not sure why, but "she's really smart". They now have been together for a little less than a year or so. In all of this we have spoken back and forth... Trying to rebuild friendship even when he admitted multiple times even after he was with her how attracted he is to me but she's "cold and doesn't need anything". It always ends in me doing something wrong and him freaking out, ignoring me. Comes back and shows off how cool his is doing in class... going out of his way to contact me, send me his papers and again then crash, I say something wrong.. Get out of my life again. Hah! It's a cycle, unhealthy. Recently about a month after he freaked out again, I wrote him saying I'd been a good friend to the best of my abilities and would always try to be... But I knew this cycle was wrong and difficult. I hoped that someday down the line we could move past all of this. PS: He's currently pissed that I mentioned why I wouldn't try and hook up with him if I saw him since he had "hesitations" about us hanging out since I treat him as kindly as I always have in the past long before we hooked up. Being told the reasons I wasn't into that seemed to have crushed his little guy ego. Anyways, I guess I am just babbling. I don't understand the cycles of all of this. I don't understand how you can be in a new relationship for so long now but be so dramatic towards someone you were with right before this. Not to mention, the new girl does't even know I existed. Ah, the fun... Anyone else dealing with such BS cycles? Can't be nice, can't be honest... gotta just be like "okay apparently you have some unresolved issues, I'll stand away from the smoked! :)" ????? others experiences ????
trulysomething Posted June 16, 2008 Posted June 16, 2008 I am completely trapped in a cycle. He essentially is a friend or wants to be friends (I still want to date him..but I have no idea why(my own weirdo cycle I guess)). But yet, he wants the innocent perks(minus sex) of being in a relationship. Holding hands, hugging, etc. My ex definitely has depression (as a result from tons of different things!!) and is completely narcissitic (after doing a lot of reading) He also has a nutter ex who he thinks that he's more compatible (of course he lies to her constantly!!)(she is also millions of miles away and they have seen each other once in 3 years). He wants to date a bunch of people but it won't happen because he never leaves the house! (except that he's joined a few dating sites and will be dating..which oddly enough I am okay with because I know he won't find anyone better!) He thinks dating is "owed" to him because he never did it in his late teens or 20's (he's now 33!). *grins**L* I know I need to move on...but I'm so lonely here...which is part of the problem. But now I need to decide to stay or go. *ack* I am a bit under the influence as I type...so I need to abandon the forums...*L* I apologize for this note...but yes, life is cyclical!
Recommended Posts