MaxManwell Posted June 16, 2008 Posted June 16, 2008 Should a man leave her alone forever and never ask again. Or if we're still interested after a period of time can we ask again. I was very frustrated when a girl I tried to date who had since became my friend began dropping some fairly obvious hints that she was on the market. I didn't want to ask her out properly which would end up trying to make a move because she had said no once already. I didn't want to be a stalker or make her feel unfcomfortable or even for myself have to deal with her if she got angry. She has a boyfriend now so point is moot anyway.
Pluto Posted June 16, 2008 Posted June 16, 2008 Leave her alone. If she changes her mind. she'll let you know.
Shygirl15 Posted June 16, 2008 Posted June 16, 2008 Leave her alone. If she changes her mind. she'll let you know. I guess for most women, if we're really interested in a guy would have said yes the first time. She may not like you that much, unfortunately. Also, I would find it very annoying if a guy I said 'no' to the first time, asked me out again.
Pluto Posted June 16, 2008 Posted June 16, 2008 It's the same for men, too. I don't know any man who rejects girls he is interested in. I ask once, and if the answer is no, then it is final, I won't bother that said girl again. It becomes irritating when you keep having to reject the same person.
Author MaxManwell Posted June 16, 2008 Author Posted June 16, 2008 What if the last time you asked her out was 2 years ago.
Jilly Bean Posted June 16, 2008 Posted June 16, 2008 If you want to be rejected twice, then sure, go ahead and ask her out again.
Art_Critic Posted June 16, 2008 Posted June 16, 2008 What if the last time you asked her out was 2 years ago. The rub MM is that she is taken and has a BF.. That in itself says she isn't interested.. IF she was single and making it clear to you that she was interested.. like you said, you both remained friends..then you could make another move but in your case if you make a move for her you will most likely get rejected...
Author MaxManwell Posted June 16, 2008 Author Posted June 16, 2008 The rub MM is that she is taken and has a BF.. That in itself says she isn't interested.. IF she was single and making it clear to you that she was interested.. like you said, you both remained friends..then you could make another move but in your case if you make a move for her you will most likely get rejected... Sorry, she only recently got the boyfriend, asking her out again would have happened prior to her getting a boyfriend but I wasn't sure if I should have.
Art_Critic Posted June 16, 2008 Posted June 16, 2008 Sorry, she only recently got the boyfriend, asking her out again would have happened prior to her getting a boyfriend but I wasn't sure if I should have. I think you should have.. if she was sending you signals.. Peoples feelings do change over time and since you both remained friends there is alway's that possibility. I would think that in 99 times out of a hundred that we should always just move on and not ask a girl out twice unless there is a friends connection like you had and time for feelings to change.
Shygirl15 Posted June 16, 2008 Posted June 16, 2008 I think you should have.. if she was sending you signals.. Peoples feelings do change over time and since you both remained friends there is alway's that possibility. I would think that in 99 times out of a hundred that we should always just move on and not ask a girl out twice unless there is a friends connection like you had and time for feelings to change. I think it's even worse if there's a friends connection. In my case, if I decide to put a guy in the 'friends' basket, he'll always remain there. He'll never cross over to a lover or boyfriend status. I don't mean to discourage you, just giving a female's perspective. However, if she was dropping hints on you along the way, then maybe you should have gone for it.
Pluto Posted June 16, 2008 Posted June 16, 2008 What if the last time you asked her out was 2 years ago. Just move on, live by the only ask once rule and you won't go far wrong. If she wanted you, she wouldn't have gotten a boyfriend.
A.G.Doren Posted June 16, 2008 Posted June 16, 2008 Every woman and every situation is different. If she was sending you signals you should have asked her out. I have no problems with the idea of going from friends to lovers. As for the once-only, rules were made to be broken.
Pluto Posted June 16, 2008 Posted June 16, 2008 As for the once-only, rules were made to be broken. That why we have prisons and the death penalty. I only ask once, if they aren't interested when I am, then that's their loss. If they comeback to me in a year or two and declare their interest, I will say what they said to me a year or two earlier. An eye for an eye and all that. The chances are I'll have lost interest during that time period and either friendzoned them or forgotten about them.
A.G.Doren Posted June 16, 2008 Posted June 16, 2008 That why we have prisons and the death penalty. I only ask once, if they aren't interested when I am, then that's their loss. If they comeback to me in a year or two and declare their interest, I will say what they said to me a year or two earlier. An eye for an eye and all that. The chances are I'll have lost interest during that time period and either friendzoned them or forgotten about them. To each his own. If I'm single and its a friend I'll give him a chance. I've never known my friendships to be ruined by it.
eric82 Posted June 16, 2008 Posted June 16, 2008 hinting that she was single doesn't mean much unless she was flirting with you at the same time. otherwise, it's just her talking with a friend (you) about something that was on her mind a lot as it was probably bothering her (being single). i say this because she already has a boyfriend again.
Author MaxManwell Posted June 17, 2008 Author Posted June 17, 2008 The 'Friend zone' is permenant, now who is objectifiying who ? In heinsight I can't see why two acquainting adults couldn't handle one having feelings for the other.
imbewildered Posted June 17, 2008 Posted June 17, 2008 hinting that she was single doesn't mean much unless she was flirting with you at the same time. otherwise, it's just her talking with a friend (you) about something that was on her mind a lot as it was probably bothering her (being single). i say this because she already has a boyfriend again. Women say a lot of things that mean nothing significant in the long haul . You deserve a g/f who adores you and is devoted to JUST you, who won't drop hints, and who is not dating other guys, Do not 'settle' for anyone or anything less. Be clear about what YOU want in a g/f, and do not go all doggy-bowl eyes over the first hottie who sidles up to you. There are a lot of women who are not suitable for committment and who just thrive on male attention.
FleshNBones Posted June 17, 2008 Posted June 17, 2008 Be clear about what YOU want in a g/f, and do not go all doggy-bowl eyes over the first hottie who sidles up to you. There are a lot of women who are not suitable for committment and who just thrive on male attention.So very true. Those women are very taxing so use them wisely.
mortensorchid Posted June 17, 2008 Posted June 17, 2008 Just move on from her. She sounds like a teaser, peaking your interests once again but then going off with some other guy.
LoveLace Posted June 17, 2008 Posted June 17, 2008 Well I know a pretty good example of asking out again... I have a good friend that was asked out over and over by a guy she wasn't all that interested in, she kept saying no, but finally one day for some reason she decided to say yes...now they are married a few years later...
Author MaxManwell Posted June 17, 2008 Author Posted June 17, 2008 Just move on from her. She sounds like a teaser, peaking your interests once again but then going off with some other guy. She had issues I think, she was single for two and a half years. Then she changed all of a sudden, put up an online dating profile and starting talking about boys and relating things back to sex when we talked. Payed me a few compliments and within a month she had a boyfriend. She just became more open I gues, probably realised she is not getting any younger she is 23 now. Plus she never actually said 'lets just be friends' and I never would be friends with a woman who spoke to me like that. I told her how I felt the first time, she rejected me, we stopped talking for a while and then she contacted me so I reciprocated and I guess we became friends. What is even more questionable is that since she has gotten her boyfriend we hardly talk anymore. She stopped contacting me and I do not contact her. We spoke briefly using MSN but I think she had to run off for some sex.. My summization is that she probably did have only a small amount of feelings for me that I was unable to grow into anything that could form a relationship. Which was a big shame because she was really good girl. This really sucks because I am not a player and I don't want to be but it looks an awful lot like that is the only opportunity a man has. Sentimentality is reserved for the female of the species.
Author MaxManwell Posted June 17, 2008 Author Posted June 17, 2008 To each his own. If I'm single and its a friend I'll give him a chance. I've never known my friendships to be ruined by it. Thats my opinion too true friendships association by good grace, people who are in a group of friends. This sort of thing is normal and acceptable. The friendzone comes from situations of a polyandrious nature.
Author MaxManwell Posted June 17, 2008 Author Posted June 17, 2008 Well I know a pretty good example of asking out again... I have a good friend that was asked out over and over by a guy she wasn't all that interested in, she kept saying no, but finally one day for some reason she decided to say yes...now they are married a few years later... That is what really irks me if I had been more persistent I don't want to have lots of different girlfriends like people keep talking about.. one good one would be enough.
imbewildered Posted June 17, 2008 Posted June 17, 2008 That is what really irks me if I had been more persistent I don't want to have lots of different girlfriends like people keep talking about.. one good one would be enough. The trick is to discern between confident persistence and beating your head on a brick wall.
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