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My new(born again Christian) sort of Girlfriend is really getting on my nerves!

Balthazar

By Balthazar
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Balthazar Established Member

Balthazar

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Why is it that everyone you have one date with wants to marry you? I think it's the 6'2" thing, personally... :D

 

It sucks that Joanne has your heart, considering how challenging this is.

 

B - it really comes down to how hard you are willing to work to win her, or how long you are willing to wait. Only you can answer that. I suspect you think she's worth a LOT of effort and I find that terribly romantic. Makes me crush on you even more! (oops - not about me! lol).

 

I think if you're still so hung-up on Joanne, you have to play it out...

 

 

Yes, I find myself in a "courting" phase Jilly.

And I haven't been in such a phase since my mid 20's.

 

Being infatuated with Joanne sucks in a nice sorta way...:).

 

How far will I go?

 

Well, I really don't know.

 

PS- It would pain me, but I would leave Joanne for you Jilly:love:

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Balthazar Established Member

Balthazar

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I wish I had his problem. Why is it all the guys who aren't ready to get married and have a family winding up with the women that do?

 

DNR

 

I am ready DNR.

It's just that Georgia is not the one!

 

CHeers,

Tomcat33 Established Member

Tomcat33

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I went out with Georgia and things got hot and heavy quite soon.

Problem is Georgia made it clear she is interested in a serious relationship with possible wedding bells in the backround.

I decided to carefully tiptoe out the back door. I was just out for some summer fun.

Another problem is that my mind is on Joanne, JillyB! Not a good state to be in....

 

 

Hmmm that is very interesting Balt!!! VERY intersting post indeed.

 

Read back what you wrote. It is very ironic since this is probably how Joanne is feeling. ;)

You don't want wedding bells but you do want MORE than she does and people tend to back off when that happens, PLUS compound that with the lingering feelings they have for someone else and VOILA!

Jilly Bean Established Member

Jilly Bean

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PS- It would pain me, but I would leave Joanne for you Jilly:love:

 

LOL. You know I want to get married though, right? ;)

 

I still vote play it out. Give it 100%, and if she ultimately does not return your advances, then you can leave it knowing that you did all that you could...

carhill Established Member

carhill

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She deserves better than that, and while we don't want to be "nice guys", we don't want a-holes either...
Noooo! You're not an a-hole if you date her. IMO, it's assumed, unless otherwise stated, that every women wants an LTR and wedding bells :D Your job is to ascertain if the fit with you is right.

 

I'll tell you what I think is the issue, and it's two-fold. If you date Gloria, even though you have an "infatuation" with Joanne, you'll feel guilty. That's part of the "nice guy" disease. I have this disease. Don't be me!. Also, I think you're afraid, at any point, if Joanne gives you attention, you'll dump whomever your with and rush to her and you don't want to "hurt" Gloria by "dumping" her. Much harder being the dumper than the dumpee, for we nice guys. We don't want anyone to be hurt, ever.

 

OK, try this. Tell Gloria you're interested in casually dating her with no expectations. "I enjoy the time I spend with you right now, but I'm not looking at a long-term commitment at this time. (Assuming you don't know her well), "I'd like to get to know you better, though". This presumes that Gloria is a pleasant gal to spend time with and you do enjoy her company. Don't lie to her. See what she says.

 

In the meantime, find something to distract you from gushing over Joanne. Make like a hole in the water for a month without notice. Smile when you read that :)

InLimbo2 Established Member

InLimbo2

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-I waited until 35 to have sex and didn't really miss much -

 

then you are either doing it wrong or are with the wrong partner

 

 

Thanks. FWIW, I'm thinking Balthazar needs to get laid, so let's analyze how to get him there :D

 

Regarding the interceding posts about Christians and sex, yeah, I waited until 35 to have sex and didn't really miss much and, even at that point, hadn't met a compatible woman. If I had, I'm sure I would have had sex and gotten married much earlier. My passion for the religion part is likely not the same as for some here, but I do understand and respect the philosophy.

 

OK, -zar, next introduction :)

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Balthazar Established Member

Balthazar

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LOL. You know I want to get married though, right? ;)

 

I still vote play it out. Give it 100%, and if she ultimately does not return your advances, then you can leave it knowing that you did all that you could...

 

Oh, I'd marry you Jilly.

I would even consider becoming a red sox fan...

InLimbo2 Established Member

InLimbo2

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Why is that most of the religious who are against sex outside marriage already had been gettin their freak on for years and got some of it out of their system? I'm guessing you had bad relationships and someone religious told you the biggest reason was because you were having sex outside marriage. How bout it was just bad relationships and it's not cuz you were being punished for fornicating outside marriage.

 

 

 

You're right I meant construct:o. It means according to the guidelines of His Word. God already laid out his plan for sex. I would be lying to you if I said that I don't want to be with someone(I am human)but what is best for me is within marriage. I did the whole "I like you, let's get freaky thing" in my younger years. So I know the "tingles" well. After I found my way back to God, those things don't seem so important to me anymore. I don't know what the young lady you were seeing is going through, but I would imagine she is trying to reconcile her faith and the world. It is a hard balancing act.
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Balthazar Established Member

Balthazar

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Hmmm that is very interesting Balt!!! VERY intersting post indeed.

 

Read back what you wrote. It is very ironic since this is probably how Joanne is feeling. ;)

You don't want wedding bells but you do want MORE than she does and people tend to back off when that happens, PLUS compound that with the lingering feelings they have for someone else and VOILA!

 

Too true Tomcat!

 

I was acutely aware of the fact that somebody was going to bring this up... and you did.;)

InLimbo2 Established Member

InLimbo2

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A 'godly mind-set' prevents you from discussing your feelings and position on pre-marital sex with someone you are dating????

 

 

depending on a girl's background, she might have felt awkward mentioning the s-e-x word....

Especially if she's now trying to cultivate a Godly mind-set....

InLimbo2 Established Member

InLimbo2

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Uh, blame a paternalistic church hierarchy.

 

More unfairly, women are seen as the perpetuation of carnal and original sin. Women, to put it bluntly, carry the can.... Blame Eve for that....
  • Author
Balthazar Established Member

Balthazar

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Noooo! You're not an a-hole if you date her. IMO, it's assumed, unless otherwise stated, that every women wants an LTR and wedding bells :D Your job is to ascertain if the fit with you is right.

 

I'll tell you what I think is the issue, and it's two-fold. If you date Gloria, even though you have an "infatuation" with Joanne, you'll feel guilty. That's part of the "nice guy" disease. I have this disease. Don't be me!. Also, I think you're afraid, at any point, if Joanne gives you attention, you'll dump whomever your with and rush to her and you don't want to "hurt" Gloria by "dumping" her. Much harder being the dumper than the dumpee, for we nice guys. We don't want anyone to be hurt, ever.

 

OK, try this. Tell Gloria you're interested in casually dating her with no expectations. "I enjoy the time I spend with you right now, but I'm not looking at a long-term commitment at this time. (Assuming you don't know her well), "I'd like to get to know you better, though". This presumes that Gloria is a pleasant gal to spend time with and you do enjoy her company. Don't lie to her. See what she says.

 

In the meantime, find something to distract you from gushing over Joanne. Make like a hole in the water for a month without notice. Smile when you read that :)

 

Nope! Georgia is too uptight Carhill.

Also, she is not so interesting to be with. Talking to her about not wanting a long term commitment would be useless.

She would not say anything and assume that since I am dating her, I ,silently, agree to a LTR.

 

Find something to get my mind off gushing about Joanne?

Hmmmmm....

 

I know, I will date Mary, a girl who I met through a friend on Monday and seems like she just wants to have fun fun fun till her Daddy takes the T-bird away!

 

If she agrees to go out with me that is!:laugh:

 

 

By the way, who's "gloria" Carhill?

Jilly Bean Established Member

Jilly Bean

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Find something to get my mind off gushing about Joanne?

Hmmmmm....

 

Um, hello? I can read this, ya know!!!! Standing right here! Hellooowww!!! ;)

 

I get really good tickets, too... (batting eyelashes shamelessly).

 

B - any other prospects on the horizon? Georgia sounds like a bimbo. Hot, but vacant. I'd move on from that, too.

 

I think Joanne should be a pursuit, but it would be nice if you had another on the burner. Just in case...

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Balthazar Established Member

Balthazar

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Um, hello? I can read this, ya know!!!! Standing right here! Hellooowww!!! ;)

 

I get really good tickets, too... (batting eyelashes shamelessly).

 

B - any other prospects on the horizon? Georgia sounds like a bimbo. Hot, but vacant. I'd move on from that, too.

 

I think Joanne should be a pursuit, but it would be nice if you had another on the burner. Just in case...

 

Georgia is.......nice. You know....nice.

Other than that, I go out with Mary or cross the Atlantic(tickets are dirt cheap-I pay in euros) and ask you out Jilly...

 

PS - Would they let me enter Fenway Park in my Yankees jersey?

Jilly Bean Established Member

Jilly Bean

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Sure they would! You just wouldn't make it back out alive... ;)

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Balthazar Established Member

Balthazar

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Sure they would! You just wouldn't make it back out alive... ;)

 

Yeah, I thought as much! People in Boston are not hospitable like New Yorkers...

carhill Established Member

carhill

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By the way, who's "gloria" Carhill?

 

Heh!, they don't pay me enough here. I meant Georgia. :)

 

OK, so Georgia doesn't have the fun quotient. I propose an alternative strategy, one which could help get your mind off Joanne. Approach someone completely new. Think about that....

  • 2 weeks later...
  • Author
Balthazar Established Member

Balthazar

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UPDATE

 

Ok, Joanne is back from short holidays and my work responsibilities ended on Friday.

 

I ring her up last Wednesday and we arrange to go out Friday night. She seems sweet and happy to go out.

 

Come Friday, she texts at 6pm to cancel, very weak excuse.

I call her up and ask what the f**k is going on?

She says she's sorry and asks if we can meet up for coffee on Saturday afternoon and conversation so....

 

We get together on Saturday.

 

Fortunately, Friday had gone well(I had hooked up with an old friend and we had a great time) so I was not in a bad mood when I met Joanne.

However, I am still a bit angry and ask her what the deal is.

She basically stresses what she said about 3 weeks ago.

First, that she is religious and as such, needs time to connect with a guy, and that is the way she has always been.

Second, she is still traumatized from her last relationship.

 

I stress that I an Ok with all this but why ON EARTH is she still stringing me along if she doesn't want a relationship?

Why doesn't she sever communication?

 

And now, she starts canceling dates on me?

Is that how low her interest is?

 

Why not just cut me loose, don't agree to go on a date, just say it!

 

Then I tell her that I am gone and that we are through.

 

She seems worried and ays that I should not go away and give up on her.

She says that she wants to have a relationship with me, but was not sure about my true feelings. She now sees that I am serious in my intentions and asks if we can go out on a date next week(Monday) so she call tell me a few things I need to know.

Supposedly, after telling me these "things" about herself, she can enter a relationship.

 

MY THOUGHTS

 

Guys, I am worried.

I have feelings for this woman but this whole Christianity thing has turned out to be far more serious than I had thought.

To be honest, I felt her religious views not to be a problem, but now I see this is far from the case.

Some guy used the term "Christian Talibans" and now I am beginning to feel the same way!

 

I told her straight up that I am not into the religious thing and I never will be.

I may be Christian, but my Christianity shows more in my behavior and my adherence to certain principles of right and wrong.

 

Second, what are these "things" she needs to reveal to me about herself before she can consider a new relationship?

 

Anyway, it seems another act will be played out on Monday or Tuesday.

The good news is that my feelings about Joanne are starting to fade....

 

Let's see what happens.....

Geishawhelk Established Member

Geishawhelk

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A 'godly mind-set' prevents you from discussing your feelings and position on pre-marital sex with someone you are dating????

Yes, depending on the restrictive, stifling and frankly misguided Godly Mind-set you're developping. It can do....

 

See Balthasar's post, above....!

This is actually what I was trying to say earlier. That beiong 'Born again' has intensified er so-called Godly Mindset, but I don't think, in a good way. She seems even more foo-ed up than ever.

 

Uh, blame a paternalistic church hierarchy.

 

Yes. I was being facetious.

The blame is always laid at Eve's feet, whilst people conveniently forget who was telling stories....

 

Balthasar, in two words:

 

WALK AWAY.

 

(PS: MY last-letter-of-the-alphabet-key doesn't work on this keyboard. hence the 's' in place of the last letter of the alphabet. Copying or cut-and-paste becomes a bind after a while......:rolleyes::D)

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Balthazar Established Member

Balthazar

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Balthasar, in two words:

 

WALK AWAY.

 

(PS: MY last-letter-of-the-alphabet-key doesn't work on this keyboard. hence the 's' in place of the last letter of the alphabet. Copying or cut-and-paste becomes a bind after a while......:rolleyes::D)

 

No, It's too late to walk away.

This situation will be played out on Monday(or Tuesday).

I want to see what will be revealed when we meet.

Cherry Blossom 35 Established Member

Cherry Blossom 35

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This joanne is so annoying. She wants you to give her time, blah blah blah, but she does not do anything for you. She even cancels dates at 6 pm, which is very rude.

the_blur Member

the_blur

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#1 I told yall so. Religious people = Martians. Run.

 

#2 Not before this mexican telenovela of a story winds up, I'm starting to think he's making it up to entertain us guys (because it it fiendishly entertaining!)

Mary3 Established Member

Mary3

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This joanne is so annoying. She wants you to give her time, blah blah blah, but she does not do anything for you. She even cancels dates at 6 pm, which is very rude.

 

I agree a real PAIN in the arse.....Imagine getting very serious with her and putting your hand down there and a chasitity belt is attached.

 

What are you THINKING getting involved with a bible thumping self righteous lady who GOD only knows what is in store for you next. ( please no attacks by religious folks here , )

 

I SAY NO because the sex will likely suck. Prove me wrong....

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Balthazar Established Member

Balthazar

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Unfortunately, I had little to no experience with religious people, so I didn't know what I was in for. When our common friend told me she was religious, I thought it was a hobby, like mountain climbing on the weekends.

 

Concerning the sex, this is definitely on my mind.

I thought about what this woman's position would be on different sexual positions, BJ's and stuff like that.

As for the chastity belt, I hope I find the key....

Mary3 Established Member

Mary3

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Unfortunately, I had little to no experience with religious people, so I didn't know what I was in for. When our common friend told me she was religious, I thought it was a hobby, like mountain climbing on the weekends.

 

Concerning the sex, this is definitely on my mind.

I thought about what this woman's position would be on different sexual positions, BJ's and stuff like that.

As for the chastity belt, I hope I find the key....

 

I think the idea of 69 or BJ's , 3 am sex , swallowing , sex role play , pure FUN with sex , is NOT going to happen....bleh...

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