snaptionallyme Posted June 16, 2008 Posted June 16, 2008 So, I'm 21 years old and I've been with my boyfriend for about a year and a half now. We go to the same small college and even in the same major. When we first started dating, I thought I was so in love with him, now not so much. He is the best person with the greatest heart and really cares about me. But there's just something missing, I just don't like him as much as I used to and I don't want to be in the relationship anymore. I know I need to break up with him but I certainly can not just tell him I'm not in love with him anymore. I don't think he even sees any of this coming either. I haven't told him the 'I love you' in quite some time now but I still don't think he has any clue what I'm thinking. Can someone help??? I just don't want to hurt him but I'm hurting myself being in this relationship...
vivrantflo Posted June 16, 2008 Posted June 16, 2008 Well, there's no easy way to dump someone after a year and a half.. he's going to be hurt whether you like it or not. So you might as well be honest with him and end the relationship. Right away. Don't play games and drag it out.. just come right out and say you really don't feel to be with him romantically anymore... It will sting him BAD. But at least he'll know the truth ASAP, and his healing will begin immediately. Do Not tell him that you don't want to be in a relationship right now.. chances are you'll meet someone else you want to date.. he'll find out, feel worse, and possibly sign up here at Loveshack. Do Not offer him friendship. Take it from someone that has been dumped.. it hurts to hear that, and a friendship is not possible.. especially since he won't see this coming, and his feelings for you are still strong. Don't contact him after you dump him. I know you'll be sad that you hurt him, but leave him alone to deal with it. If you call him afterwards, he'll hang on to hope that you'll want to come back. And thats worse than being left alone after being dumped. You can answer his calls, but don't engage in long conversations, and don't initiate conversations... Sounds mean, but it will help him in the long run to get over you and the pain of being dumped. Sad situation, but there's no sense staying in a relationship you dont want to be in. There's no easy way around it. Good luck
stlnsmile Posted June 16, 2008 Posted June 16, 2008 First Make sure, really really sure, that you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you never want this person in your life and that it can not be fixed. Once you know that, the only way is the hard way. Tell him the 100% truth. Do not promise friendship Do not say "I will always care about you" Do not say "your a great guy" ahhh, I hate that one Do not contact him afterward no matter how much you want to, he will only hold on to hope. Go to your friends for support for your lonliness, not him. Dont make him bear your guilt and bad feelings afterwards, ever. Be harsh but true and stick to your guns.
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