CCred Posted July 24, 2003 Posted July 24, 2003 My girlfried of 5 years moved out.Im to blame mostly for it because I was busy withmy own issues.Now that she left I really miss her. She has started dating a guy from work and its only been a month.I know deep down she cares for me but she is acting like she doesnt. I said that I would change some things but says it is to late.Is her new relationship just a rebound.When we talk about the house she statrs crying so I know she cares but she continues with this other guy.What can I do to bring her back.My friends say to stop calling her and wait but she may forget me if I dont call
Tony T Posted July 24, 2003 Posted July 24, 2003 YOU WRITE: "When we talk about the house she statrs crying so I know she cares but she continues with this other guy." She starts crying because she thinks about what could have been had you given the relationship the attention it required. She is clearly through putting up with your neglect and inattention. Don't feel bad, you're not alone. Many men take their ladies for granted and put their relationship on autopilot because they have "more important" things to do. Then they wonder why their woman leaves...and want her back so bad. This lady probably would take you back if she thought you had changed and would give her the love and attention she needs. But I'm sure she's heard many tales from her girlfriends who've gone through the same thing who relate that when they went back it's wasn't long before the guy started neglecting them again. So she's not going to risk trusting that you'll be any different. Chalk this one up to education because it's highly unlikely you'll be with her again. There's nothing you can do about that. But do try to understand that if you love and care for somebody, you have to make them feel special everyday and you have to pay attention to what they say. My guess is that this lady gave you many warnings before she started disbonding from you. It's so easy to start taking someone for granted after a few years...but doing so can be fatal, as you are now seeing.
Author CCred Posted July 24, 2003 Author Posted July 24, 2003 She came the other day to pick up her things but stayed about 15 minutes and took only 2 pillows and a blanket.was she just checking on me?
Author CCred Posted July 24, 2003 Author Posted July 24, 2003 my girlfriend and i have been split for nearly a month.She is dating another guy and was very cold at first.Shes changed and is being nice to me now.She wants to come to the house and take things she has added to the house such as the pond,and some interior lighting.I have made changes in my life and it seems to upset her.My opinion is that she would be happy or relieved if i never turned my life around in such a positive way.This would have justified her leaving.She came to the house to get the remainder of her stuff but left with nothing but a blanket a pillow.When we sat down to talk for a minute she just looked down and woulnt look in my eyes.I asked her why and she said she didnt want to deal with it now.In reality I"m in way better position.She has moved home with her parents and all her belongings are stored in 3 different locations.She has financial trouble and she has to decide where to enroll her daughter for school.I tghink hanging with this guy is just masking her fealings about us and the situation.The real hurt for her will happen when she actually has to collect all her stuff and make a new home.I have made the changes she fealt she needs and i try not to call her but sometimes i have to.Any hope.Also she keeps trying to get me to give her a computer of mine which was hers at the house.I said no and she thinks deserves it .I dont need it because i have another but its the principal of being nice and being taken advantage of.I want to be nice but not a sucker.Every time i tell her how i feel or what i will do for her she replys that she wanted that months ago.I cant change the past ,only the future which leaves her silent.Shye wont look me in the eyes and when she contacts me its always by text message
Stone Posted July 24, 2003 Posted July 24, 2003 I have a question here did her daughter live with you also? We're you a male role modle ( step dad.. or something of that nature to her daughter?) If you we're make wise choices you guys don't wan't to drag kids in and out of relationships. I don't think she deserves the computer but if you give it to her I wouldn't call you a sucker. I think you will only get an awnser with time.
Author CCred Posted July 25, 2003 Author Posted July 25, 2003 Yes her daughter did live with us.when i asjk her if this breakup is forever shes says she doesnt know.I have stopped calling her now and hope that she'll call me. I think in her head she still has me when i call everyday.Ill let her do her thingb with the other guy and hope she comes around. I think the true reality of our breakup will hit when she moves from her moms and has to unpack all her things in storage and decide what school to put her daughter in.
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