What does she want?

[oglahai]

I guess the first place to start is the beginning - so I met B in college, during a chemistry course and developed an interest in her. It did not go anywhere for about two years, then during some mutual class work things began to develop. At the time that she began to really like me, my father fell ill and eventually passed away. During that time, B was my rock - she brought my mother and I Thanksgiving dinner in the hospital, I talked to here daily on the phone, etc. Not too long after, we began to date (even though she insisted on it not being called that, though that still puzzles me) which eventually ended about eight months later with me breaking up with her. I tried to minimize contact with her, but having classes with her made that difficult, but I had nowhere near the contact I had with her before. We last spoke in person that year after our college graduation ceremony.

 

She moved on, finding another guy which she dated for about a year while I moved on to grad school and had a fling with a slightly older woman. We had little contact during that time until the following February ('07) during which I contact her during a particularly rough depressive spell during which I asked her not to contact me ever again. That lasted for about 3-4 months, after which she emails me asking how I'm doing, etc. We met in person for the first time this last December and had lunch together and on another night drinks and a dinner (go Winsteads!) during which we caught up on all the old times - this included her discussing with me her situation with the guy she just broke up with. She was wanting to do some of the same things I wanted to - call them, email them, "Facebook stalk" (now that sounds freaky...) which I expressed to her not to do and pointed out my struggling with those things in relation to her. She seemed interested in how I was doing, and expressed interest in whether I was/had been in a relationship since we parted.

 

Just two weeks ago, I receive a phone call out of the blue from her just to see how I'm doing. We chatted for a bit then out of no where she's like, "So, you been dating anyone?"

 

The problem, and the point I'm trying to get to is this: Why is she doing this? I mean we were friends, but I really had stronger feelings for her than vice versa (the relationship I feel is also tied up with my dad's passing, which doesn't help either thing) and every time we talk, I take a nosedive into another depressive spell (and yes I have medication, thank you ). Since that February where I contacted her, I've not been the one initiating contact, and she always asks about my current love interests. Why? I had the feeling that the relationship we had wasn't going anywhere, so why does she care now whom I might be with?

 

Sorry for the long post, but I don't know what to make of this (even running it by my mother, who is as puzzled as I am with her).

[CailinPig]

Why don't you just ask her straight out what she wants??

[snaptionallyme]

I think you should beware, if she just broke up with this guy she might just want a rebound. Or maybe she is honestly concerned whether or not you have been dating like she has, that's all I have, girls are confusing.