kizik Posted June 15, 2008 Posted June 15, 2008 All day I have memories that shoot into my brain based upon where I go, things I look at, etc. Sometimes there isn't even a trigger - the memories of time spent with her surface anyway. All day. And I've been like, oh, can't think about that. Well, f*ck it. I'm going to think about it and feel it and be f*cking sad until I get it all out and the memories start hurting less. It's natural and I'm not going to change what's happening naturally. I may never be this heartbroken again, and while I am, I want to FEEL it.
allanDR Posted June 15, 2008 Posted June 15, 2008 I'm in the same boat. Glad to hear someone feels the same way...
LikeCharlotte Posted June 15, 2008 Posted June 15, 2008 You have a healthy attitude toward healing. I honestly think letting yourself grieve is the best thing you can do. I hope you have tissues.
Author kizik Posted June 15, 2008 Author Posted June 15, 2008 Haven't cried in too long. Wish I could, LC. I mean, I could go back and read old love letters and MAKE myself cry, but that just sounds counter-productive...
Trialbyfire Posted June 15, 2008 Posted June 15, 2008 As long as after the embracing, you don't get caught up in the whole self-pity cycle, you're good to go. The more you embrace it but add the realistic ending that it's not going to happen and accept this, the more you'll cauterize the wound and heal faster.
Author kizik Posted June 15, 2008 Author Posted June 15, 2008 It's been almost 6 weeks, is this normal?!! I don't feel like I've made any progress.
Trialbyfire Posted June 15, 2008 Posted June 15, 2008 Six weeks isn't very long. Give yourself a break.
v33 Posted June 15, 2008 Posted June 15, 2008 Six weeks isn't long, agreed. I can make myself cry if I choose. There are lots of memories here and letters, photos etc. But I am tired of crying.
fran82 Posted June 16, 2008 Posted June 16, 2008 crying is good for you, gets rid of all that pent up frustration and sadness, you've got to feel the hardest stuff, so you appreciate the good stuff. bask for a moment in what you miss, appreciate it for what it was then breathe and move on again you've got a great attitude towards it and a level head! go for it! feel!
CandyGirlXO Posted June 17, 2008 Posted June 17, 2008 I too have been hurting and I cry a lot. Usually every night, god I sound PATHETIC! My R before this one was actually A LOT worse, so I know this is nothing in comparison. Still sucks though because I am older, and we had a lot of future plans. I agree with you I am just going to cry this one out until I feel better. My brother last night said to me, "Why are you crying?? What is that going to do for you??" I said I don't know. I just cry. Then I told him I had a doctor's APPT to get some help, and he said, "You don't need to go to therapy! What do you need that for?!?!" God he makes me feel so abnormal. He said to me that I just like drama, and I like to make my life harder than it is. I said to him I DO NOT want to be sad, I hate crying. The way he sees it is that it is a choice to be happy. I don't agree with him. He said to me I have a bachelors degree, a job that can pay all of my bills, I am attractive, I have no kids, I can do what I want, what do I have to be sad about?!?!?! Just out of curiosity how old are you kizik? Sorry I would PM you but I am not an established member yet.
motive2002 Posted June 17, 2008 Posted June 17, 2008 I'm letting go of the pain. I no longer wish to embrace it. I guess it's not "honest grieving", but I think I've done all the grieving I feel comfortable with. I'd just like to move on please.
Author kizik Posted June 17, 2008 Author Posted June 17, 2008 Candy, I'm 24. Motive - You're f*ckin A right. Something seems to have changed in me today. I don't want pain, I want to move on like you. And making myself sad is not going to help. I think I just meant that I'm tired of feeling guilty for feeling pain. And that I should stop feeling guilty, and just feel whatever pops into my head.
roghornio Posted June 17, 2008 Posted June 17, 2008 Hey… I don’t think it ever really goes away – just you become numb to it.. as time passes it all fades into the distance – you will always be able to recall it (should you want) – but generally as time goes on it pops into your head less and less until you think about it and are like “hold up, I’ve gone hours without thinking about it”. If you dwell on it it’ll all come back, but it will pass quickly… Even although I think I am well over it all, I am not looking forward to the random bumping into them thing. It’s inevitable in the town I’m in – only a matter of time, but that will be the real test to how over it I am. Oh and 6 weeks is nothing… You get a few months + of it !
borelandkaren Posted June 17, 2008 Posted June 17, 2008 It's been almost 6 weeks, is this normal?!! I don't feel like I've made any progress. We broke up on the 5th March, 3 1/2 months ago. Some days I feel like I have moved so far and others, I'm still laying in bed with him, just had a cuddle and about to drift off.......I love him as much now as then. Go figure.:( So, yeah, I'd say quite normal. Sux, hey.
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