horriblewoman Posted June 15, 2008 Posted June 15, 2008 Means no problems and no drama... Agree or Disagree? What are your reasons why?
whichwayisup Posted June 15, 2008 Posted June 15, 2008 I agree. No drama, no rollercoaster ride. Someone who is more or less a perfect match shouldn't stress one out let alone make an unhealthy relationship. Some people though NEED to have drama and alot of intensity in their lives, so I guess it depends on the person and their mindset.
Trialbyfire Posted June 15, 2008 Posted June 15, 2008 There's no such thing as a relationship without some speed bumps on the road, that you learn to navigate together. If it becomes a roller coaster ride, you've (generic) got major issues. I love intensity in a relationship but can't stand drama and angst.
Author horriblewoman Posted June 15, 2008 Author Posted June 15, 2008 On a general level I agree..however, don't you think since human beings are not perfect that doesn't mean there will not ever be a problem or an obstacle to overcome in their relationship? I mean..I heard someone say this and I keep thinking "But being with a perfect match, doesn't mean being a with perfect person". I agree on a general level you two should have good communication and someone who isn't constantly looking to stir the pot for kicks and excitement..but there's bound to be SOME kind of drama or problem at some points in a relationship...
whichwayisup Posted June 15, 2008 Posted June 15, 2008 You said it better than I did TBL. Noone's relationship is smooth sailing but it's better to deal with what life throws at you in a healthy way rather than an emotional rollercoaster that only brings on unsettling feelings and reactions.
Trialbyfire Posted June 15, 2008 Posted June 15, 2008 You said it better than I did TBL. Noone's relationship is smooth sailing but it's better to deal with what life throws at you in a healthy way rather than an emotional rollercoaster that only brings on unsettling feelings and reactions. The highs are never worth the lows...NEVER!
Starting Over Again Posted June 16, 2008 Posted June 16, 2008 I might disagree.. Losing perfection hurts so much more than losing someone you didn't really like. Hehe. J/k that's an underachiever mentallity. so just depends on how strong you are. I'm not too strong so I stay away from perfection.
mental_traveller Posted June 16, 2008 Posted June 16, 2008 Means no problems and no drama... Agree or Disagree? What are your reasons why? I would change it to "no more problems or drama than you have with your normal friends".
pandagirl Posted June 16, 2008 Posted June 16, 2008 No drama, please! Arguments and fights are expected, but I don't need any more crazy men up in my bizness creating drama in my life. I like calm, peaceful, happy times.
carhill Posted June 16, 2008 Posted June 16, 2008 I don't need any more crazy men up in my bizness creating drama in my life.Inquiring minds? I'm usually the exception, being over-engaged, so are you saying a lot of men IYE are that way? You seemed pretty centered in your recent experience so maybe you can help me On-topic, I find someone with a similar emotional center to promote a peaceful, more symbiotic aura; otherwise, I get this fight or flight feeling that is hard to describe.
daphne Posted June 16, 2008 Posted June 16, 2008 Drama makes me run in the opposite direction. Then I'll overanalyze it. But I still don't move back to it. Unfortunately, it has chased me a few times anyway.
christian_gal Posted June 16, 2008 Posted June 16, 2008 I think generally if the person is truly your "perfect match" there will be no drama or problems. As you have mentioned no one is perfect. While no one is perfect, the love of your life will not try to create drama or thrive off of it. Relationships are work. They take time, communication, and compromise. And while being in and working on any relationship fights and disagreements are bound to happen. That's life. But, overall I think life with them should be enjoyable, calm and rewarding.
tinktronik Posted June 16, 2008 Posted June 16, 2008 No drama! There are bumps, or bruises one faces and if the relationship is "on" it will roll through and fit naturally.
Storyrider Posted June 16, 2008 Posted June 16, 2008 I might have to disagree to an extent. For me, the perfect romantic relationship cannot grow from a base of contentment alone. Hopefully it will have that. But it has to start from sexual chemistry. That is the only thing that a couple cannot compensate for in other ways. I have also read that the long-term relationships that retain passion for years, are those that have some emotional ups and downs, as opposed to those that are completely steady.
Trialbyfire Posted June 16, 2008 Posted June 16, 2008 Hence my comment about intensity. Sexual chemistry is part of that, as well as emotional intensity. This type of relationship doesn't have to include the drama or angst.
Storyrider Posted June 16, 2008 Posted June 16, 2008 Hence my comment about intensity. Sexual chemistry is part of that, as well as emotional intensity. This type of relationship doesn't have to include the drama or angst. But isn't part of that how you, as an individual, choose to deal with trouble in the relationship? You can't have drama unless both partners make it into drama.
carhill Posted June 16, 2008 Posted June 16, 2008 Yes, a fine line that some people cannot discern, that between emotional/sexual intensity and drama. Intensity exists, drama is created. Once one has felt the difference, it will forever be clear. I'm very fortunate.
Storyrider Posted June 16, 2008 Posted June 16, 2008 Also, is there no such thing as good drama? Doesn't good sex have a touch of drama?
Trialbyfire Posted June 16, 2008 Posted June 16, 2008 But isn't part of that how you, as an individual, choose to deal with trouble in the relationship? You can't have drama unless both partners make it into drama. I won't disagree that both parties have to be involved, before drama begins. Keep in mind that both parties also know each other's buttons to push. If you have one party always driven to create drama, the last resort for the other partner is to step down from it. You can never satisfy a need for drama in one partner.
Storyrider Posted June 16, 2008 Posted June 16, 2008 This is still bugging me a bit. Because with myself, I know that my desire stays more alive when I'm not 100% certain of outcome. Kind of like reading a book with no plot.
Trialbyfire Posted June 16, 2008 Posted June 16, 2008 Where I'm fed up with the b/s. My positive emotions aren't driven by inconsistency. If any emotions are driven by inconsistency, it's negative emotions which in turn, fuels drama and angst. No thanks.
Storyrider Posted June 16, 2008 Posted June 16, 2008 Where I'm fed up with the b/s. My positive emotions aren't driven by inconsistency. If any emotions are driven by inconsistency, it's negative emotions which in turn, fuels drama and angst. No thanks. Is desire a positive or negative emotion? I'm not sure it is clear-cut.
Trialbyfire Posted June 16, 2008 Posted June 16, 2008 Is desire a positive or negative emotion? I'm not sure it is clear-cut. For me it's definitely positive. Maybe that's where we differ?
LikeCharlotte Posted June 16, 2008 Posted June 16, 2008 I have also read that the long-term relationships that retain passion for years, are those that have some emotional ups and downs, as opposed to those that are completely steady.I read that too. I can't remember where.
Storyrider Posted June 16, 2008 Posted June 16, 2008 For me it's definitely positive. Maybe that's where we differ? No, I like very much to feel desire, but desire is the lack of something, so in that sense, it is a negative, right? Once the lack is fulfilled, then what? Does desire remain?
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