Lauriebell82 Posted June 15, 2008 Posted June 15, 2008 Hey guys I need to ask for some advice here. Many of you know my boyfriend and I moved in together recently. We had a long distance relationship for most of the time we have been together (almost 2 years) because I was still in college. So we only really saw each other on the weekends. Now we live together and everything is so wonderful. We get along, and agree on everything. Now I have heard this is a common problem with couples who move in together, that the sex life dwindles down a little. It's starting to happen to us a little bit. It's not that we aren't interested in each other or less attracted to each other. We still have a lot of passion. I suppose the thrill of it is gone because now that we are together every night it feels like "oh well we didnt have sex tonight, we can always have sex tommorrow night or the next night, ect." I really don't want this to happen to us, because it has always been an important part of our relationship. The main issue is that I am working different hours now that I started my new job so I need to go to bed by about 9:30 every night. My bf doesn't have to be at work as early so he stays up later than I do. I usually end up passing out because I'm so wiped out (I have to get up at 5 am every day). So night sex just doesn't usually work out. Does anyone have any advice for me? We really do love each other but the different schedules and the living together mentallity is affecting us. Can anyone help out?
Lizzie60 Posted June 15, 2008 Posted June 15, 2008 Hey guys I need to ask for some advice here. Many of you know my boyfriend and I moved in together recently. We had a long distance relationship for most of the time we have been together (almost 2 years) because I was still in college. So we only really saw each other on the weekends. Now we live together and everything is so wonderful. We get along, and agree on everything. Now I have heard this is a common problem with couples who move in together, that the sex life dwindles down a little. It's starting to happen to us a little bit. It's not that we aren't interested in each other or less attracted to each other. We still have a lot of passion. I suppose the thrill of it is gone because now that we are together every night it feels like "oh well we didnt have sex tonight, we can always have sex tommorrow night or the next night, ect." I really don't want this to happen to us, because it has always been an important part of our relationship. The main issue is that I am working different hours now that I started my new job so I need to go to bed by about 9:30 every night. My bf doesn't have to be at work as early so he stays up later than I do. I usually end up passing out because I'm so wiped out (I have to get up at 5 am every day). So night sex just doesn't usually work out. Does anyone have any advice for me? We really do love each other but the different schedules and the living together mentallity is affecting us. Can anyone help out? sometimes work schedules get in the way.. but you have to find the time.. otherwise it will very soon be a 'boring-roomate' situation... or get a new job where you can have the same work schedules
Author Lauriebell82 Posted June 15, 2008 Author Posted June 15, 2008 sometimes work schedules get in the way.. but you have to find the time.. otherwise it will very soon be a 'boring-roomate' situation... or get a new job where you can have the same work schedules Thanks for your response. Well, I don't want a new job, I mean yeah I have to go to bed early, but I really love my job. So how do you find the time? My friend said her and her fiance make "appointments" but for us it's better when it's not planned. The only time we have is like after work and stuff, which I guess could work. Does anyone have any ideas on how we can spice things up in the evening?
Lizzie60 Posted June 15, 2008 Posted June 15, 2008 Thanks for your response. Well, I don't want a new job, I mean yeah I have to go to bed early, but I really love my job. So how do you find the time? My friend said her and her fiance make "appointments" but for us it's better when it's not planned. The only time we have is like after work and stuff, which I guess could work. Does anyone have any ideas on how we can spice things up in the evening? Then if that's the only time you both have..then it's got to be after work.. or early evening.. How to spice things up: wow you just moved in together and you need to spice things up... humm... nice dinner... (prepared by both).. glass of wine or any other drinks... bath or shower together.. porn.. dirty talk... massage with soft music... lingerie.. just fooling around.. 'teasing'... the usual stuff.. you need to find things that work for both of you..
shadowplay Posted June 15, 2008 Posted June 15, 2008 Spicing stuff up is easy. My bf and I see each other all the time, have sex about three times a day and it never gets boring. One thing we do is constantly vary the location and position. In the shower, outside, in an empty movie theater, in a boat. Whenever and wherever. Standing up, spooning, on hands and knees, against a wall. Just be creative. The most important thing is to keep it varied. If you're always having sex in the same bed, at about the same time, in two or three common positions it will get dull fast. Also, keep yourself looking attractive. Stay slim and in good shape. Buy sexy new clothes every few months, try out different hairdos. Don't always look the same. And don't hang out around him in sweats all the time or you'll start to feel like roommates. When you're living together you have work hard to maintain boundaries and an element of mystery.
Trialbyfire Posted June 15, 2008 Posted June 15, 2008 I've always found that making dinner, having dinner and cleaning up, prime opportunities for being together. Yes, it can delay the job but who cares.
Author Lauriebell82 Posted June 15, 2008 Author Posted June 15, 2008 Thanks for the reponses. I was thinking about maybe surprising him when he comes home from work in some sexy lingerie. He would go nuts with that. And if I had something baking for dinner he'd really go crazy. Changing positions, and in different rooms is a good idea Shadowplay. Now that we live in the same apartment and share the same bed every night it may start to get dull. It's a good idea to mix it up a little bit. Our apartment is fairly big too, so that won't be a problem. Thanks guys!
Author Lauriebell82 Posted June 17, 2008 Author Posted June 17, 2008 I suprised my boyfriend when he came home from work yesterday wearing a very sexy piece of lingerie. He walked in and I went to take his brief case from him and he saw what I had on and I swear his eyes almost bugged out of his head! He was so excited and we truely had a great night together. We switched positions a lot as well and tried to do a variety of different things in the bedroom. We talked about it afterward and agreed that we would try to keep things exciting and not fall into a "living together" routine. Thanks for the help everyone!
Trialbyfire Posted June 17, 2008 Posted June 17, 2008 Well done lauriebelle! Keep him guessing what you're going to do next or he'll become anaesthetized to the same old, same old! You don't need to one up each time, either.
Ruby Slippers Posted June 17, 2008 Posted June 17, 2008 I suprised my boyfriend when he came home from work yesterday wearing a very sexy piece of lingerie. He walked in and I went to take his brief case from him and he saw what I had on and I swear his eyes almost bugged out of his head! He was so excited and we truely had a great night together. Yay! Glad to hear it. Other ideas: Invite him to take a shower with you. Initiate sex while he's sitting on the couch. Slowly strip off his clothes, or yours, and go from there. Set your alarm half an hour early in the morning. Give each other full-body massages, if you enjoy those. After dinner, feed each other dessert in bed. Naked. Leave dirty notes or pictures of yourself for him to find in his briefcase at work.
Green Posted June 18, 2008 Posted June 18, 2008 can I get some of thos lingeree pictures... j/k or am I... any way maybe you could take turns initiating. Like that lingeree thing was your turn, and now he has to initiate it.
Author Lauriebell82 Posted June 18, 2008 Author Posted June 18, 2008 can I get some of thos lingeree pictures... j/k or am I... any way maybe you could take turns initiating. Like that lingeree thing was your turn, and now he has to initiate it. Yeah, usually it is him that initiates it. He made a comment the other day regarding the fact that he always is the one coming on to me, so that's why I did the lingerie thing. Then yesterday after he came home he was in our bedroom and I came up behind him and pushed him on the bed and pretty much jumped him lol. He was really shocked and surprised, which was a really great feeling. We had a talk last night and he told me how happy he was that I was taking the iniative and that the past couple days have been so awesome. We are trying different positions that we haven't really don't before, so it's really spicing things up. Like I said sex is really important in our relationship, so it's so awesome that we are getting back some of that hot passion.
Recommended Posts