MaxManwell Posted June 15, 2008 Posted June 15, 2008 The man should learn to do all of the handy man things around the house and be protective of a woman. Do you think a woman should learn to serve a man ? Do you think it should be part of her duties to treat a man like you would a guest ? Little things like make him a drink or serve dinner on the weekends (understandable you can't do that on the weekdays if you both work). For symbolism sake it would make the man more likely to be affectionate and all the handyman stuff make the woman feel like she is getting something out of the relationship.
SugarKiss Posted June 15, 2008 Posted June 15, 2008 Sure! and women do serve men, and men serve women too. women do gestures of love for their men all the time work or no work weekday or weekend, but that doesn't mean the guy can't be attentive as well because if the trade off is a woman serves while a man protects exactly how many daily situations come about that man has to fight off danger and protect? it's really a great feeling when you both feel like you take care and protect each other. to me there is no nicer feeling in the world then when I cook a nice meal for my guy to enjoy or get him a beer while he is watching the game and I seal the delivery with a kiss but it helps to feel appreciated and to not be taken for granted. I can see why in some long term marriages this breaks down because somewhere down the line people start to take each other for granted.
imbewildered Posted June 15, 2008 Posted June 15, 2008 Sure! and women do serve men, and men serve women too. women do gestures of love for their men all the time work or no work weekday or weekend, but that doesn't mean the guy can't be attentive as well because if the trade off is a woman serves while a man protects exactly how many daily situations come about that man has to fight off danger and protect? I used to be a cop before I took the bar. "To serve and protect" took on a slighly different meaning for us down at the station house. I don't believe that the "serve" part every included cooking dinner for the "girls" who stayed with us in our little gray motel room, and I don't ever recall rubbing a perp's aching shoulders after he had a hard might breaking into houses.
Balthazar Posted June 15, 2008 Posted June 15, 2008 Almost nothing gets me hornier than a woman who serves her man. We may be in a restaurant and she serves me some salad, or some other type of food. This type of behavior taps into some sort of primal instincts and is very sexy to most men. Very effective on me! CHeers,
tinktronik Posted June 15, 2008 Posted June 15, 2008 Almost nothing gets me hornier than a woman who serves her man. We may be in a restaurant and she serves me some salad, or some other type of food. This type of behavior taps into some sort of primal instincts and is very sexy to most men. Very effective on me! CHeers, You have a waitress fetish.
Woggle Posted June 15, 2008 Posted June 15, 2008 I do not think a woman should be treated like a maid but stay away from any woman who looks at doing anything nice for her man as an attempt to put her back in the kitchen.
Trialbyfire Posted June 15, 2008 Posted June 15, 2008 I serve no one. You can pamper each other in whatever way works for the two of you.
Balthazar Posted June 15, 2008 Posted June 15, 2008 You have a waitress fetish. "My only weakness is a list of crimes; My only weakness is well,um....Nevermind, Nevermind..." Shoplifters of the world unite - The Smiths
Author MaxManwell Posted June 15, 2008 Author Posted June 15, 2008 I serve no one. You can pamper each other in whatever way works for the two of you. How do you get through life with that attitude ? Most of the time when you are young you have to serve someone in some capacity.
Author MaxManwell Posted June 15, 2008 Author Posted June 15, 2008 Almost nothing gets me hornier than a woman who serves her man. We may be in a restaurant and she serves me some salad, or some other type of food. This type of behavior taps into some sort of primal instincts and is very sexy to most men. Very effective on me! CHeers, I agree, that and black is a sliming color..
Trialbyfire Posted June 15, 2008 Posted June 15, 2008 How do you get through life with that attitude ? Most of the time when you are young you have to serve someone in some capacity. No, no one serves me and I don't serve anyone else. Of the relationships I've been in or dating situations, we naturally take care of and pamper each other accordingly. The word "serve", serves no purpose for me.
Balthazar Posted June 15, 2008 Posted June 15, 2008 At the end of the day Max, it really depends on what kind of woman you want next to you. Some men go for the "modern" Western style woman(usually men raised by such women), while others prefer the more traditional, loving type. I know which I would choose any day of the week.
Author MaxManwell Posted June 15, 2008 Author Posted June 15, 2008 No, no one serves me and I don't serve anyone else. Of the relationships I've been in or dating situations, we naturally take care of and pamper each other accordingly. The word "serve", serves no purpose for me. Oh gawd..you know that what you described is basically serving each other ?
Taramere Posted June 15, 2008 Posted June 15, 2008 Whatever works for the couple in question. Some people quite enjoy the traditional roles, and that's fine...but I suppose that the enjoyment starts drifting out of it when fulfilment of those roles stops being appreciated and starts being expected. One time I laundered and ironed clothes of a boyfriend's while he was staying with me - because I was doing my own anyway, and I thought it would be a nice thing to do. He thanked me by smirkingly mentioning it to his friends in an "I'm the man....she's my bitch" way. So it was the last time I did anything like that for him (not that the relationship lasted all that long after that in any case). Being made to look like a mug in front of someone's friends rather than appreciated for doing a favour doesn't leave you feeling inclined to do it twice I think a lot of people find themselves in a state of perpetual disappointment about the opposite sex because they think in terms of "they should do X because that's how men/women are traditionally supposed to behave - and it would make me feel better about myself" rather than "it's nice when they do X. I like it."
Lizzie60 Posted June 15, 2008 Posted June 15, 2008 The man should learn to do all of the handy man things around the house and be protective of a woman. Do you think a woman should learn to serve a man ? Do you think it should be part of her duties to treat a man like you would a guest ? Little things like make him a drink or serve dinner on the weekends (understandable you can't do that on the weekdays if you both work). For symbolism sake it would make the man more likely to be affectionate and all the handyman stuff make the woman feel like she is getting something out of the relationship. Actually I prefer a man serving me.. like I had with my first ex, for 18 years.. he did all the cooking, he was the one doing the 'drinks', the cooking on the weekend.. etc...
LucreziaBorgia Posted June 15, 2008 Posted June 15, 2008 Do you think a wife or girlfriend should serve her man ? Serve him to who? Sorry, vague Simpson's reference there - couldn't resist. Seriously though - I don't know that I would look at it as servitude. A woman who sees it as 'serving' her man isn't going it of her own accord so much as she is doing it because it is obligational or expected of her. Now, that said - if a woman sees it as choosing to do these things because she loves her guy and wants to do nice things for him, its a different story. Just a matter of perspective I guess. A lot of people have trouble with that "The Good Wife's Guide" that floats around on the internet, and I can understand why - a woman was guided to do that for no other reason than it was expected of her to do so, so that she'll know her place. But honestly - a woman who does those things willingly and because she wants to, and does it not out of obligation but truly wanting to show her man that she loves him - has a happy man indeed. Hopefully one who will reciprocate in kind by doing similar nice things for her as well.
carhill Posted June 15, 2008 Posted June 15, 2008 Interestingly, I've been tasked to "serve" women less in the male capacity, like carrying bags, opening doors, standing when they enter, clearing the way in crowds, etc. I do housework and cooking, in addition to all the male stuff like fixing cars, houses, etc. Am I understanding correctly that women don't desire "gentlemanly behavior" anymore? Trust me, if my wife would "serve" me a beer once in awhile while attired in f-me pumps, she'd be getting a whole lot more sex
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted June 15, 2008 Posted June 15, 2008 Interestingly, I've been tasked to "serve" women less in the male capacity, like carrying bags, opening doors, standing when they enter, clearing the way in crowds, etc. I do housework and cooking, in addition to all the male stuff like fixing cars, houses, etc. Am I understanding correctly that women don't desire "gentlemanly behavior" anymore? Trust me, if my wife would "serve" me a beer once in awhile while attired in f-me pumps, she'd be getting a whole lot more sex I want all of that. And yes, I would happily serve my man a beer in f*** me pumps. Then he could return the favor in bed I think people are really turned off by the word "serve". It is a very loaded term and it implies an unequal balance of power. When I am in a relationship, I enjoy doing loving things for my man. Rubbing his shoulders after a long day, cooking him a nice meal, picking up his dry cleaning. I do these things because I love and care about the person and it makes me happy to make their day a little easier. I would hope to receive the same in return, and if I wasn't, then I would be rethinking the relationship.
OpenBook Posted June 15, 2008 Posted June 15, 2008 Serve him to who? LOLLLLLL Thanks for the belly-laugh LB!! ... a woman who does those things willingly and because she wants to, and does it not out of obligation but truly wanting to show her man that she loves him - has a happy man indeed. Hopefully one who will reciprocate in kind by doing similar nice things for her as well. Yes, that's always the kicker, isn't it. (Sigh.) I don't object to the idea of serving your partner, but human nature being what it is, the "serving" inevitably leads to being used and taken for granted. It's a nice idea, but not possible IRL. And I meant to add, this goes for both men AND women who do the "serving." It's too easy for the other person to take advantage.
carhill Posted June 15, 2008 Posted June 15, 2008 I would hope to receive the same in return, and if I wasn't, then I would be rethinking the relationship. Yup. I recall my wife and the psychologist calling such things "acts of service" with some reference to love languages, hence my moniker of "serve". The essential incompatibility is she sees such acts (by myself) not as acts of love but rather just essential chores or a "job" (as in part of my job as a husband). I, of course, beg to differ Examples from that dynamic would be bringing her coffee in bed, fixing her breakfast, making her lunch (for work), washing/decluttering her car, etc. I guess being "taken for granted" can be equal opportunity work......
fral945 Posted June 15, 2008 Posted June 15, 2008 I think people are really turned off by the word "serve". It is a very loaded term and it implies an unequal balance of power. When I am in a relationship, I enjoy doing loving things for my man. Rubbing his shoulders after a long day, cooking him a nice meal, picking up his dry cleaning. I do these things because I love and care about the person and it makes me happy to make their day a little easier. I would hope to receive the same in return, and if I wasn't, then I would be rethinking the relationship. I agree, and I think that's part of the problem. I think a lot of women don't like the word "serve" because it reminds them of the days when women were more subservient (mostly because of the way society was structured). I think a lot of women see things like the 50/50 relationship ideal as a way to get away from "serving". Equal sounds great, right? Neither person serving the other, completely equal give and take. In reality, though, a relationship is almost never 50/50. It may be at rare times. However, I see most relationships as a pendulum that swings back and forth. On any given day one person will be doing more than the other. As long as there is some reciprocation from the other person, the pendulum will continue to swing back and forth. It's when it stays in one position for too long that things quit working.
Jilly Bean Posted June 15, 2008 Posted June 15, 2008 I don't know if I like the word "serve", but I totally get off on taking care of my man. Cooking for him, grooming him (lol), doing his laundry, etc. The term "serve" connotes some type of subSERVience, and I don't role with being inferior. I like to do these things because I LIKE to, not because I am a slave... In many ways I am very forward-thinking, but totally traditional at heart. I would LOVE to find a guy who would go to work, bring home the bacon, and I fry it up in the pan. My Aunt was a great role model in this regard. She had her own career as an interior designer, yet when my uncle came home, she made sure her make-up was on, was wearing a nice dress, and her two boys were clean and with their homework done, all the while she had prepared a lovely hot meal for the family. I DO believe it behooves a woman to always take care of herself physically, and also step up to BE a woman, and perform the more mundane of the gender role activities. Like cooking, cleaning (well, I have housekeepers, but I do manage them - lol), all the domestic stuff. Just means that in turn my man must kill all spiders in the house, remove the dead birds from the pool when they fly into the windows, take out the garbage, and fix everything in the house when it breaks. Now, if only I could find a guy who would still want this kind of traditional arrangement... Johan?
OpenBook Posted June 15, 2008 Posted June 15, 2008 My Aunt was a great role model in this regard. She had her own career as an interior designer, yet when my uncle came home, she made sure her make-up was on, was wearing a nice dress, and her two boys were clean and with their homework done, all the while she had prepared a lovely hot meal for the family. Just out of curiosity, Jilly, how did your Uncle treat her? Was he kind to her? Did he show his appreciation for what she did? Was he romantic with her?
Trialbyfire Posted June 15, 2008 Posted June 15, 2008 Oh gawd..you know that what you described is basically serving each other ? Yes and no. It's not a paid requirement, if you get my meaning. I don't believe in financial dependence on a man where I must serve him to accommodate his every need. What I believe in is equality of caring and responsibilities, where both of you want to please each other. Also, I don't believe in a man financially depending on me. I would think lesser of someone who doesn't have an equal drive to succeed.
Jilly Bean Posted June 15, 2008 Posted June 15, 2008 Just out of curiosity, Jilly, how did your Uncle treat her? Was he kind to her? Did he show his appreciation for what she did? Was he romantic with her? Yes, they had a wonderful marriage. My Aunt passed away very young (she was 36), but from what I hear, they had a very passionate relationship and he really adored her. When my cousins had kids, my Uncle left pics of them on her gravesite, even though he had been married to someone new for over 20 years. He never got over losing her, and the times I was around them as a young child, he was always very chivalrous towards her. Keep in mind, though, they were married in the 60's, so women weren't quite so modern as they are now. Still, IMO, the old way seemed to work out really well. Well, it would for me...I missed my era entirely...
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