Kelly5 Posted June 15, 2008 Posted June 15, 2008 Today he admitted that we don't communicate our feelings anymore and that all we do is argue (yes, this is true), so he told me it is best, when we are together, for him to stay silent and act uninterested in whatever I have to say, so there is no possible way an arguement could happen. I told him this was a very bad idea because there is no hope in a relationship when I feel like I'm in this by myself. So I asked him, "why are you still in this relationship if you feel this way?" He replied, "because I love you." I said, "but I am trying to communicate more, like right now...I am speaking with you about your feelings; however, you told me you don't see this problem changing for the better, so this is pretty much a dead end in our relationship." He responded, "I am very depressed, but I love you." The history of our relationship is that we have been together 3 years, and I am transferring to a university that is 4 hours away, but he is very apprehensive about staying in this relationship; he is scared of a long-distance relationship. He recently broke up with me, but quickly changed his mind when he "realized he most certainly could not live without me." I will admit our relationship is nothing special anymore, but the thought of losing him kills me. My question is this: What the hell? Why is he staying with me? Should I be the strong one and break it off, or keep trying to convice him that I really am trying to be more open about my feelings and that this will change for the better? My honest feeling is that he is scared of losing the only person he has ever loved, and is fearful of the unknown if we break up. I don't think he is truly in love with me anymore, but I can't get him to open up and tell me the truth. Any advice is greatly appreciated, thank you.
whichwayisup Posted June 15, 2008 Posted June 15, 2008 Get to couples counselling together. If you love him and he loves you, fix this and LEARN how to communicate and really listen to eachother. If he doesn't love you and he's only with you because he's scared of moving on, all that WILL come out in counselling. Ask him and go from there. The worst thing that can happen is, you two break up. Never know until you both try really make it work and give it your all. Neither of you wanna look back one day and feel regret.
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