kizik Posted June 15, 2008 Posted June 15, 2008 R, you finally made it through the school year. Congratulations. I hope you're excited to come back to the portland area. I want you to know that I care about you and that you are often in my mind. I wish you nothing but the best and I know that you'll do great at your new job. Always, J
purplepoodle Posted June 15, 2008 Posted June 15, 2008 I know I'm the last one the should be giving NC advice, but you are doing so well, going on a month, do you really want to open that can of worms? It's a very sweet email and if I were her, I would be happy to get it, but do you want to open doors to comunication?
Author kizik Posted June 15, 2008 Author Posted June 15, 2008 Yes. I would love nothing more than to hear from her.
borelandkaren Posted June 15, 2008 Posted June 15, 2008 Yes. I would love nothing more than to hear from her. We all want this Kizik and you know in your heart what is best to do. Good luck with your decision, darl.
purplepoodle Posted June 15, 2008 Posted June 15, 2008 If that's what you truly want, then I would send the email. Just prepare yourself for whatever may come of it. I wanted nothing more then to hear from my ex when he was ignoring me for 2 months, now I wish he kept on ignoring me. Either way, the email is very nice in my opinion
Author kizik Posted June 15, 2008 Author Posted June 15, 2008 BK, I don't know what's best to do! I need advice. Pros and cons. Please.
Author kizik Posted June 15, 2008 Author Posted June 15, 2008 Anyone reading right now, I need advice before I go and f*ck everything up.
whichwayisup Posted June 15, 2008 Posted June 15, 2008 Yes. I would love nothing more than to hear from her. Why do you want to hear from her? List 5 reasons why that would be good for you.
whichwayisup Posted June 15, 2008 Posted June 15, 2008 I need advice before I go and f*ck everything up. Woo hoo! This is VERY TELLING. You KNOW that sending her that email IS a mistake and it'll f**k everything up. What does that tell ya?? Don't send it. You're having a weak moment. She's not in your life anymore, so let's get straight to the point - The less you know about her, hear about her, exclude her from your life, the better off you'll be in the long run. It's the day to day, hour to hour, you need to really be strong and distract yourself, keep busy so you won't reach out to her. Still want you to write those 5 reasons though..
Event Horizon Posted June 15, 2008 Posted June 15, 2008 Click here for the best possible advice: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t155268/ Post No. 1 tells you all you need to know. E..H
carrotgirl Posted June 15, 2008 Posted June 15, 2008 kizik, you have to make the decision for yourself about what will be best for you. Why don't you put the email away for 48 hours and see how you feel after that? Carrot
replicator Posted June 15, 2008 Posted June 15, 2008 Hey Kizik, You replied to my question, about my doubt in sending one last email. Your response made lots of sense. I guess the question is, what do you hope to achieve with this letter? I know some folks here insist that NC is the only way.. But I wonder if there were chances lost because of its strict application. It is a huge risk in any case, as it can set you back. I think once you're really over someone, then there is no need for NC, but if you're in the process of trying to get past that point, it can be a set back. I'm struggling with the same dilemma. At least give it a few days to think about it before you send it.
Author kizik Posted June 15, 2008 Author Posted June 15, 2008 Which - 5 reasons I want to hear from her 1. It will let me know she doesn't hate me 2. It'll show me she cares 3. It will reinforce the good-naturedness of our breakup 4. I want her to know that I'm thinking of her 5. It will help me really begin to close this chapter Event - thanks for linking me my own thread. Very cute Carrot - good advice, I'll sit on it. Rep - the thing I worry about the most is what you said: What if I f*cked everything up by NOT calling her after the breakup? Is it too late to show her I still care?
carrotgirl Posted June 15, 2008 Posted June 15, 2008 the thing I worry about the most is what you said: What if I f*cked everything up by NOT calling her after the breakup? Is it too late to show her I still care? kizik, I know you understand this, for every possible action you choose there is an infinite set of possible outcomes. So quit that shhit. It will fry your mind. When you can decide without the influence of other people and know in your core you will have no regrets, then you'll at least have a decision you can live with. Carrot
Author kizik Posted June 15, 2008 Author Posted June 15, 2008 After some good advice, I've taken out the "lovey" parts of it. Here is the email I will send (gimme approval first, guys): R, I wanted to write and say congratulations on finally finishing the school year. I hope you're excited to come back to the Portland area. I wish you nothing but the best. I know that you'll do great at your new job. Always, J
Author kizik Posted June 15, 2008 Author Posted June 15, 2008 I'm sending it soon... yall get 30 mins to talk me out of it, or encourage it. Sorry to sound so needy, but this is huge...
tealeafbud Posted June 15, 2008 Posted June 15, 2008 Don't send it. I've just spend the past few weeks in contact with my ex. If you guys aren't together, then what's the point? there really isn't. You know this. Just let her be. Don't waste any more energy creating some useless email that she'll just read once and probably won't think any more of it than you did creating it. Believe me. My ex was upset that she wrote me an email she spend lots of time on, and I just read it and didn't reply to her. Maybe that's how she'll feel after she reads it. Do you expect a reply? Do you expect to get back together? Do you really want her to think you're a nice guy? because she probably knows that already. Good luck man. Follow your heart.
carrotgirl Posted June 15, 2008 Posted June 15, 2008 Sent. Don't say you told me not to. Nice abdication of responsibility there. Regardless, I'm keeping my fingers crossed for a positive outcome. Carrot
Author kizik Posted June 15, 2008 Author Posted June 15, 2008 TLB, damn, just a minute late. Look, I didn't cry my heart out in the email. It basically says, "Congrats." I have nothing to lose. No, we're not getting back together. If a get a reply, great. I'm tired of trying to make her think I don't think about her. I appreciate your advice, TLB. But it's just a casual email. I think it'll be OK, I hope Carrot- thanks.
replicator Posted June 15, 2008 Posted June 15, 2008 Kizik, I wanted to reply, but I wasn't sure what the right to do would be in your situation. If you don't know, none of us could. People are not always predictable. I think it was light enough. If you were to see the kind of email I was going to send, I think it might be a bit more clear cut. I never took myself for the hopeless romantic type, but I guess I am. I'm bleeding with emotion.
wareagle Posted June 15, 2008 Posted June 15, 2008 Goodluck! My opinion is you shouldn't have sent it!!
Author kizik Posted June 15, 2008 Author Posted June 15, 2008 War, I understand. But I don't see it hurting me. I don't see it as a bad thing. I think I did a good thing by keeping it casual. And I haven't contacted her in a month... personally, I'm not too worried. Thanks for your opinion. PS. I've been the poster boy for NC for so long here, I thought it was time I made my own "mistake"
tealeafbud Posted June 15, 2008 Posted June 15, 2008 Kizik, I don't think it's such a big deal as people may make it out to be. As important as NC is for a lot of people, I think sending a short email congratulating her on some achievement is pretty harmless. I think it all depends on what your intention was. If it was to try and get her back, or call you, or stalk her in some way, that's not a very good idea. But if you are basically over her, and you KNOW that it won't affect your thoughts about her, and won't affect your daily living life, then you're ok. I know some people might not agree with this, but it's ultimately your decision, and LS can only advise you from prior experiences, which usually entails other background differences and situations. good luck
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