blackberry23 Posted June 14, 2008 Posted June 14, 2008 Well this is my first post... I don't exactly know why i'm posting but anyway, here's my story for anyone who has any type of advice or input. I was with my ex for a little over a year. We had a pretty good relationship, with minimal fighting and what not. There were never any trust issues or anything like that. Towards the end of our relationship, we both were unhappy. I had a lot of stuff going on within my family and I became somewhat overwhelmed with all of that, and I guess I sort of put him on the back burner? This was unintentional of course, and the one night he brought it to my attention. So after that was said and done, I realized I wasn't giving him the attention and affection that I used to, so I began to do so. After about two weeks, he ended it. He said he needed to be single... and that it had nothing to do with other girls or anything like that. I was basically in shock when it first happened. So for about a month or so he and I both dragged it out.. it was like a process of a breakup. After a while, I could tell he was getting annoyed with me, and so he finally told me he was "talking" to someone else. At this point, I was again in shock...but I realized it was probably for the better because now at least I could honestly think to myself it's over. A month went by and we had no contact. I was very upset but then after some time I began to accept it and was content with being single. Needless to say, I get a text from him asking how I am. I didn't respond. He text me a few more times, again I didn't respond. The next day he called, I didn't call back. After a text or two later, I finally responded, and we talked. He claimed to miss me and said he made a big mistake..etc. He insisted he see me... I wasn't exactly sure what to do at this point, so I told him I'd think about it. To make a long story short (not really lol) I met up with him. When I first saw him, I couldn't help but smile, which surprised me because I thought I'd be angry and really not care what he had to say since he hurt me so bad. As the night went on, we both had a great time. He told me he'd do anything to be with me again..how much he missed me.. so on and so forth. At the end of the night I unofficially decided to give him another chance. I told him I like being single and I just want to take things slow. At this point, I was feeling good about everything and I felt like he was too. The next day I woke up with somewhat of an uneasy feeling... he stopped over in the morning to drop something off I left in his car.. and I gave him a big hug and kiss and told him how much I missed him. Then the day went on and we were texting back and forth but it just off. I don't know exactly why.. I thought to myself that I had given in too easily... and that I shouldn't just give in to my emotions so I wasn't truly being myself (through texting which sounds weird). All day and night I had this uneasy feeling and I didn't know why, so that night he came over and I told him I don't know if I can do this, I don't know if I can trust you, but it kind of blew over and we both kinda ignored the situation. He came in my house we hung out for a little, but there was this like tension? I guess...but neither of us said anything. He left, and text me goodnight. I immediately called him because I had the worst feeling after he left. He said he felt it too. We agreed we didn't know if we both felt it because this was right or because it was wrong. SO the next day I woke up and I thought about the situation and I had planned out everything that I wanted to say to him because I thought that we were both just nervous and anxious and over thinking everything rather than just enjoying each other's company. We talked, and he told me he needed to be alone and he was really confused. He reassured me he wasn't going to go back to the other girl. He also said that he did miss me but not the relationship...Whatever that means. I now know for sure that we will never be together again and this is what hurts the most. I just don't understand how things can change overnight. We literally had one great night, and one bad night, sometimes I feel like he didn't even give it a chance. I do think that he never did take time for himself after we broke up and the other girl was just filling a void, and maybe it is a good idea for him to be alone, but then again I wish I would have just been more relaxed and took things a lot slower like I wanted to to see if what we had could have worked.
ianandris Posted June 14, 2008 Posted June 14, 2008 If it isn't right, it isn't right. It's painful to see it go, to watch what once was beautiful and fulfilling become unsatisfying and ugly. But no question, it's for the best. I'm sorry that you have to feel what you're feeling, but it'll get better.
Author blackberry23 Posted June 14, 2008 Author Posted June 14, 2008 Thanks! I realize it is for the best. I can see things realistically and logically but it's hard to accept emotionally I guess. I don't even know if I am doing this forum thing right haha
borelandkaren Posted June 15, 2008 Posted June 15, 2008 Thanks! I realize it is for the best. I can see things realistically and logically but it's hard to accept emotionally I guess. I don't even know if I am doing this forum thing right haha You're doing fine and that whole off feeling is your gut telling you to TRUST IT! My brother told me when I was 16 (I'm now 42) that "If it feels good, DO IT!" Obviously the flipside to this, is if it doesn't, don't. Go with what instinct tells you. There's obviously a reason you didn't feel right and in time you'll work out exactly what was going on. Give yourself time to let everything digest. If it's meant to be, it will be. If not, well.......Good luck:)
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