goober_20 Posted June 14, 2008 Posted June 14, 2008 Hey all. Ive been reading these posts for all while though never posting but i was just looking for another person's thoughts, suggestions on what to do. I got out of a long term relationship 2 months ago and have just really i guess started to get my life back together. Ive been chatting to someone online and we've become crazy close. Like closer than i thought possible for someone that i have never met but im really starting to get scared about it. I think im starting to fall for her and we decided to met next week but we're both having major second thoughts. She lives a 4 hour train ride away and we both can't drive so theres a pretty big distance between us, plus she has a demanding job which means after we meet next week we wont see each other again for quite a while. We also both live with parents, temp so couldnt stop over at each others homes. After discussing this we are both really confused and worried that we are setting outselves up for heartbreak. Can long distance relationships work? Do you think we should just continue to chat online but date people who live closer? I guess im worried that if we meet and fall for each other then we will both get our hearts broken. I also can't help but think that if we really cared for each other we wouldn't be analysing it like this. Im just interested in someones else thoughts on this. thanx
carhill Posted June 14, 2008 Posted June 14, 2008 IMO, better to meet each other before carrying on any further online. Real life is often a very different dynamic (I'd normally say "always" but I'm trying to be better about absolutes ). People and circumstances change. I wouldn't let current circumstances dictate my choices. Take a risk and see what happens. Good luck
Trialbyfire Posted June 14, 2008 Posted June 14, 2008 You're currently at a vulnerable period in your life where you miss the intimacy of a relationship. It makes you a prime target for online predators. Whether this is the situation or not, take it slowly, deathly slow if possible. LDRs can be seriously bad mojo, for your emotional health.
SoulSearch_CO Posted June 15, 2008 Posted June 15, 2008 And I happen to think that you are over-thinking this one. Loosen up a little. No need to be so serious when you guys haven't even met each other in person, yet. Meet, then go from there. Who knows? You may decide upon meeting each other that the distance doesn't matter to either one of you because the attraction is so strong... or you may decide to let this die because there is no/very little attraction. Don't let your brain get in the way.
D-Lish Posted June 15, 2008 Posted June 15, 2008 The one problem I have noticed with online dating is that you inevitably develop expectations, and notions on who the person on the other end is. You can't really know what could possibly develop until you meet the person. It's really best to develop a "no expectations" attitude with this sort of thing- that way there is no possibility of a let down. It's way too soon to think about whether or not you are setting yourself up for heartbreak. It's just a meeting between two people- nothing more, nothing less... Try and think of it that way!
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