kaykin1975 Posted June 14, 2008 Posted June 14, 2008 I have been separated for 14 months and divorced for 5. Instead of each day getting easier, it is getting harder!! I still love him and want him back. We were married for 8 years, and he divorced me because I had a gambling problem. I can't do the NC thing because 1. we have a son and 2. I just don't want to. Shouldn't I be feeling better by now instead of worse? HELP!!
whichwayisup Posted June 14, 2008 Posted June 14, 2008 Have you gotten help for your gambling problem? Done counselling to help you cope with that and also to help you with the fallout of the divorce? Problem is, the main reason (so it seems) your marriage fell apart was because of the gambling, not because he didn't love you. Maybe you need some closure so you can forgive yourself so you can move on. What kind of parenting friendship do you two have due to having kids together? Are you two civil to one another or is it just drop the kids off and leave?
Author kaykin1975 Posted June 14, 2008 Author Posted June 14, 2008 Yes, my gambling prob was taken care of. We are very good friends. He calls all the time, writes me letters..he is away at basic...and sends me text msgs. Plus we don't only talk about our son, we talk about our day, what we are up to, etc.. I just keep thinking I am frickin' 32 years old and shouldn't be carrying on this way!!
whichwayisup Posted June 14, 2008 Posted June 14, 2008 Are either of you seeing anyone else? Is it possible that you haven't closed your feelings off from him because you have a slight hope you two will get back together? Also, since you still DO have intimate feelings for him, being close, friendly and intouch may be the problem here, keeping you too attached to him.
Author kaykin1975 Posted June 15, 2008 Author Posted June 15, 2008 No, neither one of us has ever seen anyone else. Neither one has the desire to. I don't know...I give up. I guess I will just play the puppet until he tells me otherwise!!
whereisthelight Posted June 15, 2008 Posted June 15, 2008 you have not moved on because looks like neither one of you want to move on. you still act like you are together.. ex: sending texts, talking about your day. My advise is to talk to him and ask him how he feels. Get it all out in the open. now.. so you know where to go in your life.
Author kaykin1975 Posted June 19, 2008 Author Posted June 19, 2008 Could really use some more advice on the subject! Thanks!
SingleDad Posted June 19, 2008 Posted June 19, 2008 Tough to cling on to hope when the divorce is final especially since this have been going on to for some time. I will likely be facing the same issue 12 months from now when my legal separation can become a divorce. You have no control over your XH actions. The key piece of advice I have for you is: Focus on your son... He will always be your son... Your son is hurting too... make your son feel special - make special mother and son dates. It will help stop thinking about your XH. That is all you can do.
Recommended Posts