stlnsmile Posted June 21, 2008 Posted June 21, 2008 Awwww...thanks. And you know what Blaze...if there are girls like us on this board, there are girls like us where you are too. Stable, nice, healthy, devoted, nice, caring, loving people, who are not affraid to stay with someone for the long haul. You are young like me, and I suggest after your head is screwed on, staying single for a while, the reason is, there is lots of time to be serious about someone in your life. I would rather play now while I can. With out the chain around my neck of having to be soooo serious. I had the fun of doing that, and I got to know what it was like, and I am happy that I did, even though it did not work out. I understand what a real relationship is, what love is, and what it means to comitt to someone...I also know what it feels like to have my heart ripped out. All good life expirience. Now.....its my time....my time to play.....if Mr. Wonderful comes along great....but until then, I am going to be with my friends, enjoy my serior year, date when I want, do the things that are important to me. Yes I miss sometimes sharing my life with someone, but truthfully other times I don't. When the time is right it will happen, until then, I can be as selfish as I want:)
Issues & tissues Posted June 21, 2008 Posted June 21, 2008 Awwww...thanks. And you know what Blaze...if there are girls like us on this board, there are girls like us where you are too. Stable, nice, healthy, devoted, nice, caring, loving people, who are not affraid to stay with someone for the long haul. You are young like me, and I suggest after your head is screwed on, staying single for a while, the reason is, there is lots of time to be serious about someone in your life. I would rather play now while I can. With out the chain around my neck of having to be soooo serious. I had the fun of doing that, and I got to know what it was like, and I am happy that I did, even though it did not work out. I understand what a real relationship is, what love is, and what it means to comitt to someone...I also know what it feels like to have my heart ripped out. All good life expirience. Now.....its my time....my time to play.....if Mr. Wonderful comes along great....but until then, I am going to be with my friends, enjoy my serior year, date when I want, do the things that are important to me. Yes I miss sometimes sharing my life with someone, but truthfully other times I don't. When the time is right it will happen, until then, I can be as selfish as I want:) Amen to that!
Author blaze5 Posted June 21, 2008 Author Posted June 21, 2008 Thanks to everyone whos posted you really have no idea (or maybe you do) of how much hearing this stuff helps. Its finally great to talk to people who know what your feeling and try to help you through it. This break up has and is really hard on me. You guys are great.
stlnsmile Posted June 22, 2008 Posted June 22, 2008 Awww, well, thats what everyone is here for, hope your doing alright.
Author blaze5 Posted June 22, 2008 Author Posted June 22, 2008 Yesterday was a great day, my older brother got married and i was busy that entire day so i never felt hurt about her or even thought about her. But today i broke my rule on not looking at her myspace and what i saw actually didnt hurt anymore, i guess thats good.. i guess it still hurts not having her around or in my life anymore but some of the lies ive caught her on its probably for the best. I should find someone who wont treat me like trash and use me so they feel better. If she ever tried to talk to me again i probably would just walk away, or act like ive completely forgotten about her like i had amnesia.
stlnsmile Posted June 23, 2008 Posted June 23, 2008 Too bad were on oposite ends of the Universe, but hopefully you will find someone where you are:) Im glad you had a better day. It will keep getting better, some days will be good, others bad. But thats normal. Stop looking at myspace, it just keeps you holding on. If I do it, it seriously makes me think about my ex for two days every time, if I don't look, I don't think about him at allllllllll.
Author blaze5 Posted June 23, 2008 Author Posted June 23, 2008 She called me... and honestly i had a feeling she would. I decided to break NC to see what she wanted. She asked how i was doing and i told her flat out, ive been doing horrible, i can never sleep or eat. And i asked her why she really called and she said she really needed someone to talk to, she also asked if i atleast wanted to be friends and i said no, its just to hard to handle especially being friends and seing her with someone else is different then just knowing about it. I could always tell when she was said from the tone of her voice in the relationship and she had that tone. So i try and find out whats wrong and she says shes sorry for calling and hangs up. I thought about calling her back but i didnt.. a few minutes later she calls back and triest to talk again and bursts into tears, i ask her whats wrong and she hangs up..right now is pending if she calls back for a 3rd time.
stlnsmile Posted June 23, 2008 Posted June 23, 2008 Blaze, tried to PM you, you have to activate Private Messages if you want one.
stlnsmile Posted June 23, 2008 Posted June 23, 2008 She called me... and honestly i had a feeling she would. I decided to break NC to see what she wanted. She asked how i was doing and i told her flat out, ive been doing horrible, i can never sleep or eat. And i asked her why she really called and she said she really needed someone to talk to, she also asked if i atleast wanted to be friends and i said no, its just to hard to handle especially being friends and seing her with someone else is different then just knowing about it. I could always tell when she was said from the tone of her voice in the relationship and she had that tone. So i try and find out whats wrong and she says shes sorry for calling and hangs up. I thought about calling her back but i didnt.. a few minutes later she calls back and triest to talk again and bursts into tears, i ask her whats wrong and she hangs up..right now is pending if she calls back for a 3rd time. Blaze, I don't know what to say, its only been a month and I don't think you should just close her down, on the same side, you need to take care of you. I would just tell her strait out, if you are not calling to get back together, I don't want to talk. I don't want to be friends, I can't do that. I care too much about you for that. And then let it go no matter what happens. But do not be her friend, you are not there for her to use when ever it is convinient for her, like you want to be her sholder to cry on with the new guy???? I don't think so. Just tell her the truth next time and then end it....no long drawn out games okay...it will only hurt you worse.
df273 Posted June 23, 2008 Posted June 23, 2008 Blaze... I personally, would not answer it anymore. Breaking NC is one thing because she came to you, but I think she is feeling how you are feeling. By getting back and making things "better" will just help her feel better for the time being, but inevitable will reoccur. Let her be for the time being.
Author blaze5 Posted June 23, 2008 Author Posted June 23, 2008 I just took your advice and said exactly that.. and she was starting to cry and said she understood and would call me when she figured things out
stlnsmile Posted June 23, 2008 Posted June 23, 2008 Well Goody, now don't you dare wait around...you go on as you were, as much as you want to wait around, its not going to help you at allllllll. Wish you had told her, okay you've got a week to figure it out. She's had enough time in my opinion already. But I am trying to give her the benefit of the doubt. Im gonna do some thinkin on this one:)
stlnsmile Posted June 23, 2008 Posted June 23, 2008 Hey Blaze, another question...do you think you could really be with her now that she has been with someone else. Is she just coming back because he didn't turn out to be all that she thought he would be. You really need to think this one through.
Author blaze5 Posted June 23, 2008 Author Posted June 23, 2008 lol i think it was great advice thats why i used it word for word . About the PM im not a commited member so its not activated yet.
Author blaze5 Posted June 23, 2008 Author Posted June 23, 2008 Hey Blaze, another question...do you think you could really be with her now that she has been with someone else. Is she just coming back because he didn't turn out to be all that she thought he would be. You really need to think this one through. Well even if she says she does want to get things fixed im gonna have a LONG talk with her before i even dare decide to jump into that relationship again. Ill make her wait for my answer
df273 Posted June 23, 2008 Posted June 23, 2008 I think you are making the right decision. Let her marinate on what has happened. If she truly wants to be back together, then a few weeks/months should not change her decision.
Calisto Posted June 23, 2008 Posted June 23, 2008 Yeah exactly, I agree. Personally I would not get back together with a guy if he had been with another woman sexually while we were broken up.
stlnsmile Posted June 23, 2008 Posted June 23, 2008 I sort of feel the same way, once that has happened, once that trust is gone, you just can't get it back. I just don't know if I could forgive it personally. It sort of ookkess me out....ewwww...but it guess it depends on a lot of stuff....????
df273 Posted June 23, 2008 Posted June 23, 2008 I can understand why having a partner after you, then wanting you back would bother people. It would probably bother me too. One thing I have found out, it is always a good idea to never ask a GF/BF about past relationships. At least sexual topics. You may have been with X amount of people before her, she may have been with 2X or 3X that. If it comes down to loving someone or still loving someone, it should not matter, and if it does, then that love has been tainted. I'm not saying it can't be recuperated, but it definitely puts stress on the situation.
ate_the_paint Posted June 23, 2008 Posted June 23, 2008 My ex had a new guy in her back pocket the day she broke off with me. She can't break up with someone without someone else to fall into. It's kind of sad. It didn't surprise me. I was in her back pocket when she broke up with her last guy. Wow...do we have the same ex?
Author blaze5 Posted June 23, 2008 Author Posted June 23, 2008 i know she hasnt been sexually active with another guy because her mom is a pain in the butt and barely lets her go anywhere. Shes also 1 year younger than me but idk if that would really make a difference these days
Calisto Posted June 23, 2008 Posted June 23, 2008 I can understand why having a partner after you, then wanting you back would bother people. It would probably bother me too. One thing I have found out, it is always a good idea to never ask a GF/BF about past relationships. At least sexual topics. You may have been with X amount of people before her, she may have been with 2X or 3X that. If it comes down to loving someone or still loving someone, it should not matter, and if it does, then that love has been tainted. I'm not saying it can't be recuperated, but it definitely puts stress on the situation. Sure but we're not talking about previous partners. We're talking about "He broke up with me, he slept with another woman while we were broken up, he decided he wanted to get back together with me." Totally different because he didn't love me enough to not break up with me the first time, he didn't love me enough to get intimate with another woman while we were broken up, sorry, too late." Oh and OP, don't be naive. You have no idea if she slept with him or not. She might have.
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