ARDriver01 Posted June 13, 2008 Posted June 13, 2008 D (we'll call her "D") and I have been seeing eachother for about two weeks now. We have so much fun together, I enjoy second that I'm with her. We're always going out, hanging out with our good friends and meeting new ones. We compliment eachother so well and we're equally laid back. No pressure at all really. I don't know when to call her and when not to call her. What I've been doing is sending a text in the afternoon, usually something funny and random and eventually we make plans to meet up. Last night was different, we were at separate friends houses watching the Laker game (long sigh...). That's actually the first night in two weeks that we didn't hang out. It's pretty cool, I think, that we can 'not' hang out as well, makes me feel like I have a life. So, I'm paranoid that if I call her everyday, she'll feel like she now has some new responsibility to inform me of her moves. I know what that feels like early on a relationship and it sucks. Thats moving too fast. I'm also paranoid that if I don't call her, which comes easily to me, she'll feel like I don't care about her. She's not clingy and I'm certainly not either. I think maybe the reason I'm writting this thread anyway is because we haven't talked about 'us' yet. I kinda don't want to. Anybody have some good insight as to why I might be feeling a little anxious? I'm probably just mental huh?
Audg1964 Posted June 14, 2008 Posted June 14, 2008 Has anyone ever heard of this "rule" before. I grew up with it; and my daughter's friends all know better too. I'm dating a guy who calls me at 8 AM on Sat and Sun morning! He calls me 100x a day! It's too much and it's controlling. Call when you want, it's okay. But make it brief and state the purpose of your call (e.g., to make plans!) not just to bs!
SugarKiss Posted June 14, 2008 Posted June 14, 2008 AR it sounds like you are REALLY into this girl which is great but take it easy. too much of anything is too much. the thing is that if you already started with talking to her every single day and seeing her every single day now you can't just stop abruptly because she will think something is wrong and you don't like her anymore, but I'm afraid in a few months when this keeps up and the novelty wears off we will find your girl posting here asking "why is my guy pulling away?" we are so perfect for each other and we have so much fun and are always together and now he is pulling away. so before it gets to that point start to do it slowly yourself since you already went too much too soon. never ever start a relationship off by being with someone every single day it is too much and it leaves no room for a natural progression and then this is how misinterpretations start to happen when one of the two needs room to breathe. always make maintain breathing room throught the process I would continue with the texts but don't let them turn into a whole day of back and forth, send a text to show her you are thinking of her and then move on, make plans for the day for yourself and have a life so that you genuinely are busy and always be kind and excited towards her so that she sees you genuinely ARE busy and not just blowing her off... and show her you are still totally interested but keep a little mystery so that she is not so dependant on you to make her happy and vice versa. then in a few days call her, you know, altrenate. another day see her. it's ok to be spontaneous and to pick up the phone and call her when you feel like it but keep a little challenge to keep things fresh and things will progress just as they should and when things hit a plateau it will be easier to deal with.
clairebear Posted June 14, 2008 Posted June 14, 2008 2 weeks is nothing!!! casual dating lasts for a month at least - play it by ear and see what happens!! but don't call just for the hell of it. maybe text her goodnight or good morning, as a wee fun text!! but keep it light.
SugarKiss Posted June 14, 2008 Posted June 14, 2008 this gets a strong co-sign from me ?????? what's a co-sign????
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