RawDave Posted June 13, 2008 Posted June 13, 2008 Hi there, my name's david. I've been suffering daily since my girlfriend, who i almost had 3 years with, decided to break up on me. In the begginning, when we started to develop the relationship, when we reached 5 months, she broke up with me, and came back desperately 3 days later telling me she was really sorry and that she just wasn't thinking.Maybe her period got inside her brains. Now, after almost 3 years of relationship, she did the same thing again, the only thing is, we're very unsure about getting back together. She said that, she had reached a part of her life in which she doesn't just wants to go to the movies and some other places (shes 17 and im 18), she says she wants to start going to clubs with her friends and start enjoying what she really loves, "dancing". Now there's this problem, im not a club person and i don't really like dancing, but i enrolled myself in a dancing class for 1 month to see if i can get her back... i know it sounds stupid but im really desperate. (the class is for salsa and merengue) We haven't stopped contacting each other, in fact, we chat almost daily for hours. I took her out for her birthday with a relative and i remembered so many things.. that i almost bursted into tears in my car, the pain was horrendous... She's assured me that she won't be in a relationship with anyone else for a very long time, since its hard to find someone to trust after 3 years of relationship with someone. Now, here's the thing, a friend of mine told me she said she still loves me, but she doesn't wants me to know, and that right there, i take it as an opportunity to try to get her back. Now lets get to where i really want with this, does anyone of you think we're ever getting back? I believe one of the reasons she broke up with me was because she ended highschool and she's about to start college soon. As i've heard, most girls want a new life after highschool, which is really stupid since, i graduated a year before her, and i NEVER felt the need to stop datng this amazing girl...
Byren Posted June 13, 2008 Posted June 13, 2008 Hey man, Sounds rough, a 3yr relationship is nothing to turn your nose up at, it must be pretty tough for you right now. I can relate to the new life after high school thing. My ex broke up with me for the same reason, she simply wanted to be free at uni...she originally said it was because of the distance thing, which could be a bit difficult in any relationship I guess, (though her uni is only a 30 min drive from mine. Lame excuse, woman -_-) is her college quite a distance away? That could be quite a deciding factor for her if it is. The fact that she thought less of you because you don't like clubs is a bit crap though, going out clubbing is such a minor part of life that usaully ends up with you having a heap of regrets and fat headache the following morning. She should be able to take you for what you are and if you're not a club person then she should be fine wih that. I didn't used to like them much, but with alcohol I started to appreciate them a bit more (I'm from the UK so we can drink earlier, but if you're from the US or something then you might be a bit screwed there) I think there may be a chance of you two getting it together again, but maybe prepare for the worst? A little time away from each other may help the both of you see what you really want. Good luck dude.
Author RawDave Posted June 13, 2008 Author Posted June 13, 2008 Thanks byren, i live outside of the US and it doesnt really matter you can get alcohol here since 9 pm. but im not that much of a drinker either. I can't believe some women rather destroy what seems to be safe just to keep "experimenting" with their lives =/... i went through so many things with her, and just the thought of her living those memories with someone else make me feel nauseaus and incredibly angry =/... i really hope she thinks things through because she meant almost all my life to me.
vivrantflo Posted June 13, 2008 Posted June 13, 2008 She said that, she had reached a part of her life in which she doesn't just wants to go to the movies and some other places (shes 17 and im 18), she says she wants to start going to clubs with her friends and start enjoying what she really loves, "dancing" The two of you are both really young. You've been together 3 years, meaning you were 15 and she was 14 when you started. Over time man, people change.. the two of you are still growing, and learning more about yourselves every day. A majority of mid to late teens go through the clubbing phase. What she's doing is natural.. but I gotta give her credit, at least she's being honest with you. There's women my age (29) that still play games and don't come right out and say what they feel. Now there's this problem, im not a club person and i don't really like dancing, but i enrolled myself in a dancing class for 1 month to see if i can get her back... Dude, your story is bringing me back, cause I went through this EXACT situation with my first GF. Don't change yourself, just to accomodate her. If clubbing and dancing is not your thing, it's not your thing. If you enrolled yourself in classes while you two were together, that would have been a nice gesture and would have scored you points. But you two aren't together. Don't do these things to try and win her back. It doesn't work that way... Cause clubbing to a 17 year old, doesnt mean just going out with the girls and dancing.. it also means getting hit on by men too. She's assured me that she won't be in a relationship with anyone else for a very long time, since its hard to find someone to trust after 3 years of relationship with someone. Don't take what she said here to heart. It means nothing. And since she's not your woman, she doesn't have to promise you anything. Shes young.. the first guy that she finds attractive that hits on her in the club, is getting her number. As much as it hurts, it's true. Im not denying that she loves you, I know she does.. 3 years is an excellent commitment for people your age! But unfortunately, as I stated earlier, during this stage, people change.. and interests change.. She's leaving high school and going to university.. most people want a fresh start when they make that transition, and thats what it looks like she wants. All you can do is live your life man. She wants to do the clubbing thing? Let her. There's nothing you can do about that. You should start going out on dates and meet other women.. You two are young enough to have your paths cross again, so why not take advantage of being young and single, and have a great time! And you don't need clubs to do that! Good luck
feelinblu Posted June 13, 2008 Posted June 13, 2008 That's tough, I'm so sorry. My highschool boyfriend and I were together for 5 years, and just kind of grew apart. It's tough to lose your first love (assuming she is), but I can promise you things will get better. Maybe there are better things planned for you in life. Maybe she needs some time away and when she's had that and realized it's not all it's cracked up to be, she'll be back, and you can form a stronger bond. Or, maybe there is someone out there for you who is absolutely the person for you, and you will fall in love with them and have emotions with them you never even knew. I know that's impossible for you to imagine right now, but maybe it's the truth. For right now, YOU need to heal, and I don't think keeping in touch with her is letting you really do that. Hang in there, I wish you the best.
Author RawDave Posted June 14, 2008 Author Posted June 14, 2008 Thanx for all your responses... this has been killing me for the last month and its just impossible for me to cut contact with her since, she started calling me "her best friend" since she can talk to me in a way she cant with anyone else. Now im like oh so im your best friend now huh? [insert smiley face here] but what's really going on in my head is (i dont wanna b your best friend... i wanna be your boyfriend AND your best friend at the same time >_<).
D-Lish Posted June 14, 2008 Posted June 14, 2008 I can tell you that at her age- she is needing to experiment. This isn't about not loving you. When I was 18 I was trying to figure out where I fit into the world, and I felt the need to explore it. This phase lasted until I was about 25- when I got my act together.
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