galleta Posted June 13, 2008 Posted June 13, 2008 I have been dating my boyfriend for a year and a half and I was just wondering if you can equate a mans Love for you by how much he calls you/ texts you and or makes plans with you in advance?? If he does so, does that mean he is truly interested?? This question is for anyone who has an honest answer to give me or who has gone thru a similar situation in doubting her relationship with her man. I welcome all advice especially a guys point of view.
Strawberry Cane Posted June 13, 2008 Posted June 13, 2008 I think all people love differently, so no, you can't equate a mans love for you based on the number of phone calls and texts he sends. However, I believe that if you feel the need to receive love in such ways, you might want to reconsider if you can live your life with someone who doesn't feel its important to call/text you.
Krytie TV Posted June 13, 2008 Posted June 13, 2008 Only if you consider those things to be the most important things a man can do for you. Is talking with you several times a day more valuable than loyalty, commitment, caregiving, and friendship?
Balthazar Posted June 13, 2008 Posted June 13, 2008 After a year and a half, you should have a clear picture of how interested your boyfriend is in you. Concerning the frequency of phone calls and texts, that really depends on his character. Some guys are not very communicative. That does not necessarily mean they are disinterested. So, there are no general rules to be followed. CHeers,
BlueEyedGirl Posted June 13, 2008 Posted June 13, 2008 All the different communication styles aside, I have always found a very high correlation between a man's interest level and frequency of contact.
Suiyobi Posted June 13, 2008 Posted June 13, 2008 Forgive me for being naive as I'm an amateur in the world of dating, but I always got the impression that the more the man contacts the girl, the more it shows to the girl that his interest level towards her is high, therefore the man appears to be needy, which means it'll cause the girl to ditch him far more quickly. Am I jumping the gun here or is there something I'm missing inbetween the statements, "his interest level towards her is high" and "therefore the man appears to be needy"? How does a man find the balance? I'm so confused...
Krytie TV Posted June 13, 2008 Posted June 13, 2008 At 1.5 years I can't imagine that much attention needs to be paid to that kind of balance, it should have happened naturally by this point. To the OP, I really feel that if after this long in your relationship his contact behavior is bothering you, then there might be some issues on your part. I mean, if you're bothered, are you sure it isn't more about other things he's doing than just not calling daily? This just seems like an incredibly silly scale for measuring a man's love for you. I get the sense there is more wrong here than how much he calls you. I mean, the title, "Is he really into me?" Really? After a year and a half? That's a question someone asks about a one month fling. How do you get this far in a relationship and not know if the guy is "into" you? Do you guys ever talk about feelings? How old are you two?
Ruby Slippers Posted June 13, 2008 Posted June 13, 2008 Forgive me for being naive as I'm an amateur in the world of dating, but I always got the impression that the more the man contacts the girl, the more it shows to the girl that his interest level towards her is high, therefore the man appears to be needy, which means it'll cause the girl to ditch him far more quickly. I think it depends on the girl. I know that I have been overall happiest when I've been in relationships where the guy made a lot of effort to spend time with me, and I even had to decline now and then because I had other things going on. It's the opposite right now, and I hate it and it's having an effect on my enjoyment in the relationship overall. I am starting to think maybe it is just incompatibility -- I like a closer relationship, whereas he likes more distance. I like it when it's clear that he's as into me as I am him.
daphne Posted June 15, 2008 Posted June 15, 2008 Imo, after a year and a half if you're not sure what his feelings are towards you, he's not really into you. When I'm with a guy that's really into me, I don't have a lot of questions or doubts. Even if he's not super communicative. You just know. Also, even if they're not phone talkers, they will want to see you more often.
searching88 Posted June 15, 2008 Posted June 15, 2008 I have been dating my boyfriend for a year and a half and I was just wondering if you can equate a mans Love for you by how much he calls you/ texts you and or makes plans with you in advance?? If he does so, does that mean he is truly interested?? This question is for anyone who has an honest answer to give me or who has gone thru a similar situation in doubting her relationship with her man. I welcome all advice especially a guys point of view. hi, it sounds like you have been dating this person for a while. I think in my own opinion what a man does for you, not what he says but how he treats you and also how much of his life you are integrated in ie family, friends, plans with family show if he loves you and how much. sounds to me like maybe you should sit down and speak with him the both of you have been together long enough to warrant "the talk" if you are feeling insecure at all. good luck
D-Lish Posted June 15, 2008 Posted June 15, 2008 After a year and a half, if you have to ask whether or not he is really into you... I'd say there is a problem! How does he act when you are together? Does he tell you he loves you?
Suiyobi Posted June 15, 2008 Posted June 15, 2008 I think it depends on the girl. I know that I have been overall happiest when I've been in relationships where the guy made a lot of effort to spend time with me, and I even had to decline now and then because I had other things going on. It's the opposite right now, and I hate it and it's having an effect on my enjoyment in the relationship overall. I am starting to think maybe it is just incompatibility -- I like a closer relationship, whereas he likes more distance. I like it when it's clear that he's as into me as I am him. Thanks for the insight. I guess now I'm more confused than ever lol! In all seriousness though, I kinda figured every girl would be different. It's just that I've typically received the opinion from girls that they prefer guys who aren't always calling/texting/hanging out with them, i.e. the girls want their space and want a guy who can survive on his own.
Trialbyfire Posted June 15, 2008 Posted June 15, 2008 I'm not a guy but I will give you my opinion. If you need more than he is giving, you ask for it, as long as it's within reason. If he doesn't meet or isn't capable of meeting that need, this will permeate and erode on other aspects of your relationship. I do agree with everyone else about after a year and a half, this shouldn't be a question that you need to ask, if he's into you or not. Best to look at issues of compatibility.
DunnoWhat Posted June 16, 2008 Posted June 16, 2008 I have been dating my boyfriend for a year and a half and I was just wondering if you can equate a mans Love for you by how much he calls you/ texts you and or makes plans with you in advance?? No... personally speaking I don't want to be calling women every single day. Actions speak louder than words as they say so just see how the overall relationship is.
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