RainWoman Posted June 13, 2008 Posted June 13, 2008 I have been dating this guy for 2 months, but lately he only sends text messages. Even to ask me to dinner. Disrespectful?
Trialbyfire Posted June 13, 2008 Posted June 13, 2008 Text him back next time with the message, "call me".
Gawdess Posted June 13, 2008 Posted June 13, 2008 I would go one step further and not respond when he texts. Don't acknowledge his texts.
Krytie TV Posted June 13, 2008 Posted June 13, 2008 Since the graduating class of 2000. Disrespectful, I shouldn't think so. It's hardly offensive. If it's not your preference, say so.
trubella Posted June 13, 2008 Posted June 13, 2008 my bf of 6 months is notorious for this. pretty annoying, he used to call me all the time in the honeymoon phase* nowadays its rare for him to, texting only. i understand it when hes at work, but after work or in his spare time a call is in order. at one point i replied to one of his texts "that if you cant learn how to pick up the phone and call then i suddenly will lose the ability to answer your text messages" he got the hint and calls me now.
jerbear Posted June 13, 2008 Posted June 13, 2008 I have been dating this guy for 2 months, but lately he only sends text messages. Even to ask me to dinner. Disrespectful? Sounds like a typical Gen Y, Z and even some later Gen X. Texting is more convienent and the rejection easier to handle. Plus you can say you've got the message "late" Don't like text messages for the date, then tell him. Don't call him but text him as TBF suggested.
Ruby Slippers Posted June 13, 2008 Posted June 13, 2008 Personally, I would never respond to a text message dinner invitation. I like the "call me" suggestion.
dreamergrl Posted June 13, 2008 Posted June 13, 2008 I don't see it as disrespectful unless you've made it perfectly clear you'd prefer not to text all your communication. Be nice about it, let him know it'd be great to hear his voice when your talking. Or be subtle ... telling texting is driving your phone bill up. No one is a mind reader, the best way to go about it is communicating it one way or another.
Art_Critic Posted June 13, 2008 Posted June 13, 2008 Tell him to call you.. I was having a conversation with our production coordinator here at work the other day.. She is a 26 year old who text messages like crazy.. She said she has had BF's that they never talked on the phone.. ever.. they only sent texts.. even for stuff like which movie and time for picking her up.. She said she would never do that again.. Something gets lost in the translation and you don't learn how to communicate properly and you are dooming the relationship if the very foundation of communication isn't being formed. She also said she broke up with them over a text
jerbear Posted June 13, 2008 Posted June 13, 2008 Just don't get into texting sex. It is kinda weird.
t_veron Posted June 13, 2008 Posted June 13, 2008 I have been dating this guy for 2 months, but lately he only sends text messages. Even to ask me to dinner. Disrespectful? Either he's losing interest in you or you're too needy and chatty and it's draining him. It's a safe bet to pull back a little and not be so available for a few weeks and see if he starts calling again. If he does, you need to spend more time talking with your girlfriends and realize he's not one of them. If he doesn't pursue you then you know he was losing interest.
clairebear Posted June 14, 2008 Posted June 14, 2008 this is a joke - YOU are disrespectful, not to see that maybe, just maybe this guy finds it easier to text than talk. for all you know he has a phobia of phones...the world's fastest growing phobia (i have it so i know). how intolerant are you?? you should be glad he contacts you at all, instead of debating the whys and wherefores!!!!
clairebear Posted June 14, 2008 Posted June 14, 2008 my advice - be more patient and stop being so hard!! otherwise he REALLY won't wanna phone you!
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted June 14, 2008 Posted June 14, 2008 Sorry, but I'm with the OP on this one. Being able to talk on the phone is a social skill that is many people are losing. If he is uncomfortable talking to you on the phone, then how comfortable is he in the relationship? That being said, it is not fair to expect a different behavior unless you tell him how you feel. He probably has no idea. If you tell him, and then he continues to text, then you have a problem.
imbewildered Posted June 14, 2008 Posted June 14, 2008 I have been dating this guy for 2 months, but lately he only sends text messages. Even to ask me to dinner. Disrespectful? Not at all disrespectful . Texting is a great way to send information "in writing" about dating, The time and place are there for you on that little screen. Perfect technology for bust people Maybe what you are really pondering is how high his interest level still is, and whether he stiill has you up on that pedestal ? BTW, have you ever asked him to do something together via a text ?
Trialbyfire Posted June 14, 2008 Posted June 14, 2008 I do agree it only shows a lack of respect, if after you've expressed a dislike, he continues to do it. But.... If someone doesn't enjoy talking to you, what does he want from you? Something to consider.
johan Posted June 14, 2008 Posted June 14, 2008 I would go one step further and not respond when he texts. Don't acknowledge his texts. Passive aggressive.
clairebear Posted June 14, 2008 Posted June 14, 2008 it's actually NOT a social skill - it's a Literacy skill. 24% of the pop. has poor literacy skills - that includes speaking and listening!! for people to be judgemental about this is a disgrace! he is doing his best, so lay off for goodness sake!! add into the literacy probs the phobia that comes with using phones..it is in no way disrespectful!
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted June 14, 2008 Posted June 14, 2008 it's actually NOT a social skill - it's a Literacy skill. 24% of the pop. has poor literacy skills - that includes speaking and listening!! for people to be judgemental about this is a disgrace! he is doing his best, so lay off for goodness sake!! add into the literacy probs the phobia that comes with using phones..it is in no way disrespectful! I disagree, it is a social skill. It doesn't really matter if you or I think texting is disrespectful. The OP is unhappy with the situation as it is. My advice to her, and others have said this as well, is to let him know she prefers a phone call. This can be done in a non-judgemental fashion.
clairebear Posted June 14, 2008 Posted June 14, 2008 hi cherry it isn't a social skill - it officially IS a Literacy skill. i'm a Literacy tutor, and so i know this. speaking and listening are Literacy skills. some people just aren't equipped, through no fault of their own.
Trialbyfire Posted June 14, 2008 Posted June 14, 2008 Speech has nothing to do with literacy. There's zero connection.
clairebear Posted June 14, 2008 Posted June 14, 2008 Speech has nothing to do with literacy. There's zero connection. in literacy there are four key skills - speaking, listening, reading and writing.
Trialbyfire Posted June 14, 2008 Posted June 14, 2008 in literacy there are four key skills - speaking, listening, reading and writing. Literacy is primarily reading, writing and education, as a whole. You can be completely illiterate and still talk a mile a minute. You're confusing the ability to communicate with literacy.
clairebear Posted June 14, 2008 Posted June 14, 2008 Literacy is primarily reading, writing and education, as a whole. You can be completely illiterate and still talk a mile a minute. You're confusing the ability to communicate with literacy. Trial - I'm a Literacy Tutor...I doubt I am confusing anything. YOU are - your appreciation of Literacy is tabloid, I'm afraid. I repeat...there are FOUR areas to Literacy: Speaking, Listening, Reading and Writing.
clairebear Posted June 14, 2008 Posted June 14, 2008 I would even go so far as to say Speaking and Listening are the most important aspects of Literacy!!!
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