Author Phoenix11 Posted June 14, 2008 Author Posted June 14, 2008 Hang strong, You said your final piece and got it off of your chest. There is nothing in his response that can be beneficial to you. If he is apologetic, you will wonder if it is just a game to keep you hanging around. If it is anything else, it will strictly hurt you. Here is my suggestion since I am reasonably sure you won't be able to just delete it. Send it to a friend. They can keep it and down the road, when the emotions have subsided and if your curiosity is still there, then you can learn the contents. Right now, you need room to get over him and move on. Please avoid any contact with him whatsoever. Look at him like an addiction you can't control. You need some detox time to get over it. Hey Shock You are always right on so many points, especially about me not being able to delete his response. Of course I read it and of course it hurt, but I am moving on, however I will miss the awesome sex.
2sunny Posted June 14, 2008 Posted June 14, 2008 Hey Shock You are always right on so many points, especially about me not being able to delete his response. Of course I read it and of course it hurt, but I am moving on, however I will miss the awesome sex. what did he say?
Art_Critic Posted June 14, 2008 Posted June 14, 2008 what did he say? Yeah.. you can't just let that hang out there
2sunny Posted June 14, 2008 Posted June 14, 2008 Yeah.. you can't just let that hang out there i know! i'm sure i already know about what he said - but geeeez, do tell...
Gawdess Posted June 14, 2008 Posted June 14, 2008 I don't think it's appropriate to urge her to share his email. She already stated that it hurt to read it.
Author Phoenix11 Posted June 14, 2008 Author Posted June 14, 2008 Yeah.. you can't just let that hang out there Geez folks...can't a girl mourn in privacy? OK...took Shock's suggestion and revised my email...here's my final draft. For the life of me, I don't understand you. I tried not to crowd you. I tried not to stress you, but in doing so I have allowed you to stress me. I must admit, when we are together I enjoy those special moments and had hoped we could build something. I would have happily made myself available to you for your colonoscopy if you so desired. It's one's actions that defines them. Your behavior tells another story. You disappear, then reappear, crazy excuses for not calling, not emailing, not IMing, never answering your phone or returning calls (how rude) and M.I.A. on the weekends. Now you send me an email which reads: "If you can find another friend to go see S. Dan...please do. I don't want to hold you back" I am assuming you are seeing someone else, or just not into me. Either way, honesty would have been the best approach. You are too "odd" for me and I am moving on. I wish you all the best with as you deal with your health issues and much success in your career pursuits. To this he responded with: Sorry, take care and good luck This is really more than I expected. I thought I would only get a "Sorry". This is his M.O.
Author Phoenix11 Posted June 14, 2008 Author Posted June 14, 2008 i know! i'm sure i already know about what he said - but geeeez, do tell... How did you think he would respond??
Art_Critic Posted June 14, 2008 Posted June 14, 2008 At least you got the final closure you needed and you also got to understand that he wasn't as invested in the relationship as you were.. Things will be okay Phoenix... there is someone right around the corner that will make your head turn...
imbewildered Posted June 14, 2008 Posted June 14, 2008 Hey Shock You are always right on so many points, especially about me not being able to delete his response. Of course I read it and of course it hurt, but I am moving on, however I will miss the awesome sex. Go find yourself a great guy who thinks that you are great too.
Jilly Bean Posted June 14, 2008 Posted June 14, 2008 Pho, once you are done with your grieving, I do hope you take the time to see your take-away in this was to realize from the GET-GO the guy was bad. His dismissive response to your email doesn't surprise me, as this is pretty much how he treated you all along. (And he was ALWAYS a turd, IMO!) While I think its admirable to be tenacious, its also important to realize when to cut bait, even if the flags reveal themselves after one or two dates. We all knew he was a bad egg from the very beginning, so hopefully going forward in dating, you will acknowledge the signs that men give you, and make your decisions accordingly. Bottom line, it's not always a good thing to give someone so much latitude and benefit of the doubt. He's still a turd.
Author Phoenix11 Posted June 14, 2008 Author Posted June 14, 2008 At least you got the final closure you needed and you also got to understand that he wasn't as invested in the relationship as you were.. Things will be okay Phoenix... there is someone right around the corner that will make your head turn... Thanks Art...
whichwayisup Posted June 14, 2008 Posted June 14, 2008 To this he responded with: Sorry, take care and good luck Typical response from someone who is an a-hole and selfish (and probably married, or is seeing other women) short and to the point. With that being said, to be honest with you, he is a JERK and not worthy of your time, your love, your effort, your heart. You seem like a giving and kind woman, something HE doesn't know or understand because he's a selfish fool. Cry and get it out of your system, just don't waste too many of your tears over him. He isn't worthy of your tears!! One day when you're ready, another guy will come into your life and be able to fulfill all your needs and be there as a real boyfriend.
mortensorchid Posted June 14, 2008 Posted June 14, 2008 Yeah, I think he just did break it off with that short email. If he's interested (or has a shread of valor about him, because he just showed himself as a complete coward) or if he has enough courtesy to act like your average 14 year old, he would call you. Otherwise, do what he says and move on.
Trialbyfire Posted June 14, 2008 Posted June 14, 2008 He was short and to the point. Better to know sooner, rather than drag this on, keeping you on a string. There's no where to go but upwards, from someone like this! It sounds like a worthwhile experience when you're feeling better, to review the red flags and know never to accept this type of treatment from anyone, ever again. What a jerk!
Author Phoenix11 Posted June 14, 2008 Author Posted June 14, 2008 ...for your kind and supportive posts. If you have followed this saga from the beginning you know how I very much wanted this relationship to work. Periodically I have tried to end it and/or address the short comings in the relationship with this "Turd" (hehe...that felt good to say). I was always swayed by his sweet words. I should have known better. Now that it is finally done and over...I am at my sadest point, for wasting so much time, focusing too much on one person and ending up alone. My pain is undescribable........ I will give myself some space to heal, and hopefully my next post here on LS will ring with a happier tone. You guys and gals are the best. Thanks a bunch:)
shockandawed Posted June 14, 2008 Posted June 14, 2008 PX, I am sorry you are hurting..but I am so happy for you to finally be able to free yourself from this tool. Your hurt is about two issues. The first one is I am sure you are upset with yourself...why didn't you end this sooner? why did you allow yourself to believe him, etc?? While it may seem like a waste, I firmly believe the only waste in life is when you don't learn from a situation. I am certain you have learned alot with this and will be much better for having experienced it. The second part is your are mourning a loss. What you have to realize though, you only had a perception, or a dream. The reality is you really didn't have anything to lose as there was nothing here. From the beginning, he has acted horribly and honestly, played you all along. The good times, what few they were, were simply a mirage. The reality is the crap you took over and over from him. The good news, you still have the dream you had during the time you wasted with him. You can end happily ever after, and in fact, by shedding this whacko, you have moved yourself one step closer to fullfilling that dream. For the first time in over 6 months, you truly are moving toward happiness. It will take a bit, but you will realize this soon, and you will only wonder why you didn't shake him long before now. I am really proud of you!! BTW...Ricky, DO lose that number!
2sunny Posted June 15, 2008 Posted June 15, 2008 How did you think he would respond?? just as he did. no emotion - no attached emotions or involvement - no admission as to what he may or may not have done right or wrong in the "relationship." a see a man unwilling to give you any info to work off of because anything he gives you will blow his cover. he weezled his way out of it again - just like he always did! with NOTHING to give to you - like he always did. even with so few words that you can't make sense of it all... what manipulation again. he's such a little weenie. a weenie incapable of giving even the slightest indication of a shred of truth for your benefit. it makes me think he has a whole lot to cover up... be happy that you are finished with it all... move on and find someone to be nice to you!
shadowplay Posted June 15, 2008 Posted June 15, 2008 Probably because your boyfriend is doing the "fade" with you, and you can relate. Stop being a bitter b!!tch. Nobody is fooled by your different user names.
shadowplay Posted June 15, 2008 Posted June 15, 2008 Wow, his response is... At least it makes you realize once and for all what a cold person he is. I think that fact alone will make it easier for you to get over him. He's not worth your tears. Hope you feel better, Phoenix, and soon realize that you dodged a bullet. (((hug)))
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