lostandconfused83 Posted June 12, 2008 Posted June 12, 2008 So there is this girl I like. We started getting to know each other about 9 months ago when her parents told me we should hang out since we have a lot in common. She is 18, im 25. We had a blast and developed a great interest and her parents were totally cool about it. I was a family friend for years but never really knew her. Well after a few months we started having feelings for each other more than friends, we were pretty much inseperable. Her dad didn't want me to date her but her mother encouraged it. But lately the past few weeks her moms attitude had changed and she started saying she thinks im a bad guy, and im not the nice guy i pretend to be... I was very hurt... .Well she just recently let dad know what was going on. He called me this morning told me that if I want to stay a family friend that I cannot ever talk to his daughter again, I cant text, or call, or IM, or email. I can't even say hello. And if I do he will kill me... We both really like each other! What do I do? It's so hard to cut this off after all its been developing for 9 months, and for a while they were ENCOURAGING it! Saying they thought it was great we spend so much time together... but now they did a 180 and are hardset. We have not had sex or have done anything wrong... I'm pretty lost and confused as to what to do.... And in his words I am still welcome to come over to the house and hang out with her brother but I am NOT allowed to speak to her....... Talk about controlling and confusing! We have soo much in common, and not even being allowed to be her friend really hurt my feelings deeply
Mahatma Posted June 12, 2008 Posted June 12, 2008 The girl is 18, what does she want? I would say forget about the parents.
Author lostandconfused83 Posted June 12, 2008 Author Posted June 12, 2008 yeah that's what I would say too, but you see hte problem is she lives under their roof still, so she has to do what they say :\
Mahatma Posted June 12, 2008 Posted June 12, 2008 Well... she does and she doesn't. I am 18 too, but male. If she wants to still see you, she can...I doubt her parents will follow her everywhere and check up on her. Also, is she going to college? That is less than 2 months away for me, so it would be close for her too. Do you have any idea about why mom suddenly changed her mind about you? How romantic were you two? She may have told her mom about something you did together and that could have worried her mom. The parents may have seen you two as just friends and you were more of a moral help on their daughter, not so much a romantic interest. So when you became one, they got worried.
pr-girl Posted June 12, 2008 Posted June 12, 2008 We both really like each other! What do I do? I had a guy break up with me once because his parents - who initially said I was "the one" - seemed to change their minds. He was 30 and still broke up with me. My mother has wanted me to stop seeing someone before - even as an adult - but, if I cared for them, I remained true to what I believe in. I suggest having a talk with your girl and find out what she wants. Keep this in mind: Her mom and dad won't have to wake up next to you every day for the rest of their lives; she would (if you get married one day, that is.) If you make her happy, she will make the right decision. If she doesn't, you are 1) not the right guy for her or 2) she isn't strong enough to fight for what she wants and will always live to please her parents.
refurb Posted June 12, 2008 Posted June 12, 2008 Wow, what a crappy situation to be in. The age difference is large, but in a few years it wouldn't be that big of a deal. And it's not like she's that young any more. Hmmm.... I wish I had a good answer. RF
Author lostandconfused83 Posted June 12, 2008 Author Posted June 12, 2008 The parents may have seen you two as just friends and you were more of a moral help on their daughter, not so much a romantic interest. So when you became one, they got worried. That is EXACTLY what I think this is. After all she just turned 18, and I think they might be worried that it will distract her from her going to college, and her dad also said he doesnt want his daughter in a serious relationship, nor with someone my age..... Age is pretty relative really, and the relationship isn't serious, we arent talking about marriage. I have always been super supportive of her choices, she wants to be a teacher and I want her to persue her dreams and help support that, not distract her from it.
Lucky_One Posted June 12, 2008 Posted June 12, 2008 They probably think that she needs to go off to college without having an older boyfriend, so that she can date other people and experience a lot of the growing up that you have already gone through. She can't learn things for herself if you are there at her shoulder telling her how to do everything or doing it for her. (And yeah yeah - I know - you would never do that or try to guide her or help teach her. But that is what people in relationships DO.) My folks didn't want me coming home every weekend to see my old HS BF and giving up everything my new college city had to offer - they wanted me to take advantage of it (without some guy hanging all over me while I did it).
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