CailinPig Posted June 12, 2008 Posted June 12, 2008 You know what, we are wasting our lives while we grieve. Grieving is still a massively important process, but we gotta remember what are we thankful for? Personally, I'm thankful for: - My wonderful easy going family who will always be there for me - My friends, who I didn't know cared about me this much before my break up - This life experience, that has taught me about the true depths of despair - The lessons I learned about my past relationship - My past relationship. He loved me at one stage and I loved him. we were each others first everything. - My beautiful 18 year old Ford Fiesta! - My lovely cat and dog - My degree in sociology and irish - Getting into a new course for spetember - Waking up every morning to a new day. I lived for 20 happy years without a boyfriend in my life and everything was great. I can do that again!! WOOOOOO!!! I'm grateful!!!
Author CailinPig Posted June 12, 2008 Author Posted June 12, 2008 Oh my God, this is insightful, no one here is grateful for anything!!! maybe this post is too early for some
taylor3205 Posted June 12, 2008 Posted June 12, 2008 Im grateful for: 1) Getting into a good university starting this september 2) Having a roof over my head and enough money to live 3) The past 10 years of my life being with someone wonderful (and like you, if its happened before, it can happen again) 4) My health 5) The fact I wont give up 6) My family and friends 7) My car and my dog Life is so unpredictable, I think the secret is to learn to just enjoy the moment and live for today when you break up with someone. It was my first love, my first everything, it has been and is hard.....there is light at the end of the tunnel though
mark982 Posted June 12, 2008 Posted June 12, 2008 i'm grateful for, this great new job i'll begin monday,my health(for all i tried to destroy it), sanity, new grandchild.and finally some peace in my life.
2sunny Posted June 12, 2008 Posted June 12, 2008 i'm grateful for many things - but i am really grateful to be sober. it allows me to live again and to have a clear mind.
Author CailinPig Posted June 12, 2008 Author Posted June 12, 2008 Has anybody else felt incredibly guilty for being ungrateful during their break up? I have so much and yet, I couldn't see it (and still can't to some extent). Everything and everyone cannot replace my ex. It's weird. Instead of just my love life changing, my entire life has changed. It's like I'm living on a different planet. One day, I'll look back and regret this part of my life that I wasted. I hope I get over this.
bentnotbroken Posted June 12, 2008 Posted June 12, 2008 There are too many blessings to count. And was so ungrateful for what I have, I was willing to throw it and my life away. God is truly wonderful in his forgiveness and mercy.
Lizzie60 Posted June 12, 2008 Posted June 12, 2008 I am grateful for soooo many things: For being a strong woman who can do about anything without the help of anyone; For having such a wonderful, loving daughter who, I know, adores me and will always be there for me, she's gorgeous and smart; For having a wonderful and beautiful grand-daughter, she's the love of my life; (my avie) For having so many great friends, who will always be there for me, my bestest friend always said that we will eventually move in together and look after each other when we grow old (and this one is married..LOL), I have my bedroom waiting for me on the second floor of her beautiful home on the river; For being healthy and looking much younger for my age; For having a good paying job; For all my wonderful lovers; For being soooo freaken happy where I am right now in my life.
justaman99 Posted June 13, 2008 Posted June 13, 2008 Grateful for my family. We have been through way to much **** over the years and even recently yet we are stronger together more than ever. Grateful for my friends of course. Without them I wouldn't be who I am today and the kicker Grateful for having known my ex. Truly. She changed me in areas of my life that I really needed to know better and deal with. -Just
fran82 Posted June 13, 2008 Posted June 13, 2008 things im grateful for -in a weird way im a grateful for having to go through the pain, knowing im coming through as a stronger person because for it -grateful because now i know that i can let ppl in to my life, all the things that being in a r/ship has taught me. -im grateful to have known my ex, he did bring me much happiness while it lasted -im grateful for my friends and family keeping me together by just being normal with me! -im grateful for breaking up because now i know entirely what i want from my life, little evil for a greater good (i hope) grateful but still missing him CailinPig, i do understand what you mean, during the toughest moments, i really didnt appreciate how my friends wouldnt understand my cursing insanity, but since then ive realized that by just being there, they were helping me! i was walking around a pity world were only i could understand how sh*@ a break up was! like i had some kindve knowledge of it that no one else did, but really i know that was just the angry faze! ive never had a monoply, but i needed to feel angry and crap at that point, but my friends and family stuck with me through it all. in time you'll come to see that in your life too! hugs
kizik Posted June 13, 2008 Posted June 13, 2008 I'm grateful for this sunny day. For a roof over my head that only costs $300/month. For my talents in music and writing. For my capacity to care, love and forgive. To be off drugs. To know myself and to know how to treat people, and how I want to be treated. To be alive, though I have wanted to die.
Author CailinPig Posted June 14, 2008 Author Posted June 14, 2008 Thanx fran82, I'm just findin it hard. i still don't enjoy anythin as much as I used to. There's this light mist of sadness around me all the time. Kizik, I get what you're sayin about previosuly wantin to die. A week after my ex dumped me, I wrote in my diary: "It's so painful to live right now. It's not that I want to die, but living is so painful that sometimes I feel I can't breath" It's been better since then, thank God
fran82 Posted June 15, 2008 Posted June 15, 2008 hey cailinpig, hope your okay? i know exactly what you mean about the mist of sadness surrounding you, all the places and things that remind you of him, seem so hard to face. but now you need to start thinking differently, "recondition" or "reclaim" those memories/places/activities. make newer better memories with your friends/family. one day it'll strike you, you feel happy, and you'll remember that feeling! it'll take time, but you'll get there! be grateful that your still able to make newer better memories with the ppl who really love you unconditionally! hugs!
LikeCharlotte Posted June 15, 2008 Posted June 15, 2008 Callinpig, someone else made a similar thread just a few weeks ago. Lots of us posted there. Let's see if I can find it... http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=153538 Great minds think alike. This is part of healing. Maybe we can keep these threads alive like the "post here" or NC count threads.
Author CailinPig Posted June 15, 2008 Author Posted June 15, 2008 Likeharlotte, dam, thought my thoughts were original, guess not!!! thanx! Fran82, I do try hard, and its gettin easier, but I can't help feelin like I've wasted my life and I miss him so much. and we could've continued in the relatuionship if he'd really thought about it.
fran82 Posted June 15, 2008 Posted June 15, 2008 hey, im glad its getting easier for you, sounds more and more like our situations are pretty similar, i feel just the same about my ex, he did waste my time, and im more determined now not waste my own time, and make better (more compatible choices too). my ex didnt think much either towards the end, but it just showed me how immature he is and how much i needed to move on from that. try not the think of what could've been, just think what can you do now, the world is your oyster! you'll always miss him, but you'll come to accept it more easily. have a good ol' cry, dry up your tears, stick on your fav tune (mr brightside for me) and stick on some lippy, just keep walking forward, the mist will clear x hugs
sedgwick Posted June 15, 2008 Posted June 15, 2008 1. My book deal 2. My awesome agent, editor, and publisher 3. My dance company 4. My education (finished my master's 11 years ago this month!) 5. My amazing friends, particularly my two best friends 6. The ability to travel 7. That I got out of my small rural town 8. My groovy pink treehouse apartment in Manhattan, with ONLY MY NAME on the lease! 9. My two beautiful cats who make me laugh every day and sleep with me at night 10. That I'm not deaf like my mom and my aunt 11. That I didn't get pregnant in high school (or ever) 12. Yoga 13. Knitting and crochet 14. My awesome tattoo artist who worked on me last night (ribs? Ow!) 15. That I live in an era when there are good psych meds and therapy, as opposed to lobotomy, Thorazine, and electroshock 16. The writers who came before me and taught me, particularly William Faulkner, Richard Powers, Anne Sexton, Sylvia Plath, and Flannery O'Connor 17. That I'm alive at the same time as Suhaila Salimpour and can thus study with her 18. The Sian Ka'an Biosphere in Tulum, Mexico 19. My garden 20. That I'm still alive (see #15)
Author CailinPig Posted June 16, 2008 Author Posted June 16, 2008 Thanx fran82! I just feel like a piece of worthless crap these days. Taht's what love does, I guess. God, I don't ever really listen to happy songs, i love depressing music, always have. Although, my happy song would probably be In The Summertime, it makes me laugh!! Sedgewick, you sound like a really cool person, with a cool lifestyle, I'm jealous!!
sedgwick Posted June 16, 2008 Posted June 16, 2008 Sedgewick, you sound like a really cool person, with a cool lifestyle, I'm jealous!! Thanks, but you know what? When my ex dumped me, the only reason he gave is that I'm not a musician, and he just feels like whoever she is, the love of his life is an old-time fiddle player. Nothing I did was good enough to keep him around. I have spent the last year thinking, "Oh, I'm JUST a writer/dancer/knitter/filmmaker, I'm nowhere near good enough for him." Oh yeah, I forgot to mention the documentary I'm making! Duh! I'm grateful for that too. I have so much going on I sometimes forget a thing or two. I am particularly grateful that Kodak still makes Super 8 filmstock. No need to be jealous -- if you want it, just go get it! I came from a town of 1000 people in the rural south, and through my own bullheadedness, I made it to NYC and the life I have now. Anything is possible if you want it badly enough!
Nevermind Posted June 16, 2008 Posted June 16, 2008 Well, let's all hope he finds his love, and that he has some quality time with a 94 year old alzheimer patient and a past as a fiddle player. He seems so self-absorbed he'd hardly realize once she'd start to decay. But hey, his hygiene isn't good, so that could account for the smell as well. You're great sedge. Don't listen to him or anyone else who tells you different.
sedgwick Posted June 16, 2008 Posted June 16, 2008 He seems so self-absorbed he'd hardly realize once she'd start to decay. But hey, his hygiene isn't good, so that could account for the smell as well. *dies laughing* Thanks for the perspective. Did I forget to mention I'm grateful for soap and deodorant?
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