littletoes Posted June 12, 2008 Posted June 12, 2008 Well here is the situation. I was at my boyfriends house enjoying a nice time outside with his parents. While some chick stops by with with her car and calls out my Bfs name. Right then and there I started to panic. I knew something was up because I couild see the guilt written on his moms face. I asked her who that girl was and his mom told me that its some girl from his past and she showed up unexpectedly. Well I freaked out. I felt really angry and he went up to her and he started to chat with her and he looked pissed off. They were talking for a good 50 seconds but not good talking. SO he got mad and he left back in the house and told me and his family to get back in the house because shes physco. SO he storms in the house gets back out while she was about to come in. really scary. Everything happend so fast I go outside to see whats happening,. NO Boyfriend and no Ex. SO NOw IM fuming right because IM scared left alone with his parents I began the questionsing I asked them who she is and what she wants. They told me that shes been stalking her son for a long time. Calling coming over unexpectedly etc. Wow that really overwhelmed me. SO I see him I asked him where the F he went and he told me that he had to get her out of the area in wheer he lives because he didint want to become emabarssed from his neighbours to hear his ex yell and scream. He got back with scratches a scratch on his neck and he told me that she broke his sunglassess. U know what really hurt while they were talking b 4 going away she kepted asking him who I was so he told her that I was his neighbour that really hurt me. I asked why did he say that he said I wanted to protect u because god knows what she could have done to u thats whay I told everyone to get back in the house through the garage. I was so mad at him. We talked things through and he told me everything about her and shes really bad news and IM getting scared because I wouldnt want her to follow me. If anyone could offer there experince with this similar situation that would be great
Suiyobi Posted June 12, 2008 Posted June 12, 2008 I understand your anger at the time but after reading the last part in your post I think you should apologize to the guy. Yes, he referred you as his "neighbor" but I think he was genuinely trying to protect you, because had he said that you were his girlfriend then that crazy EX of his would have probably come after you. I mean, just look at the scratches on him caused by that woman...
SeraBella Posted June 12, 2008 Posted June 12, 2008 It sounds like he really had your best interests in mind. It doesn't seem like he was hiding your status for any other reasons. I'm curious why they didn't call the police. If she's been stalking him for some time, and if it's gotten to the point where it is dangerous, one would think they should get some sort of protection order in place. A piece of paper won't necessarily keep her away, but it still is important.
45Reverse Posted June 12, 2008 Posted June 12, 2008 He was truely trying to protect you from her. If he's being open and honest and telling you everything you're asking him to, why would you think any differently? Personally, if I had a freaky EX like that I wouldn't want her anywhere around my gf or family either....And I'd likely do anything I could to keep her from knowing who my gf was. None of her effen business and who knows what the biatch would do if she found out who my gf was???? Now go apologize and bang the hell out of your guy....He earned it
whichwayisup Posted June 12, 2008 Posted June 12, 2008 You need to dump this guy. Go back and re-read all your other posts. Listen to your gut and realize that your boyfriend is up to something and quite honestly, it IS time for you to end it. He isn't worthy of you.
Chrome Barracuda Posted June 12, 2008 Posted June 12, 2008 Are you freaking kidding me are you people really that F-ing naive not to know something is going on between him and this woman. How stupid are you guys!!!??? WTF? If this girl is such a stalker why is she driving his car?!!?!? WTF? The parents know and didnt expect this girl showed up when she did! If she's such a dangerous stalker why did he get in the car with her? Where did he go when she went back outside? Why did he tell everyone to go back in the house, when they wanted to see what wasd going on! Where the hell did he go and why did he leave with her if she was so psycho in his car he owned that SHE was driving! And why the hell did he come back with scracthes and act like it was no big deal? Why would he lie about who you are? if she's the ex why would she care? The F? He's banging her on the side littletoes! mark my freaking words you will find out the truth! There's too much circumstantial evidence that points to guilty!!! Your the Unknowing OW and she's the girlfriend. Watch. or vice versa. this guy is a shady scumbag and you should not be dealing with him.
J2FT1 Posted June 12, 2008 Posted June 12, 2008 I think the most important thing you need to do right now is watch your back.
MrsHellnoFire Posted June 13, 2008 Posted June 13, 2008 Why not just call the police and file a restraining order already? Keep us updated with new revelations on this one!
vivrantflo Posted June 13, 2008 Posted June 13, 2008 Are you freaking kidding me are you people really that F-ing naive not to know something is going on between him and this woman. How stupid are you guys!!!??? WTF? LOL too true.. Your the Unknowing OW and she's the girlfriend. Watch. or vice versa. This is what I was thinking. If this chick really was a stalker.. I think your man's mom would have a face of annoyance, not of "guilt" Which was the exact word you used. Why else would your man hide everyone from the conversation they were having?? This chick stratched the $h!t out of your man's face. In what situations do women scratch men in the face?? If they are caught in a lie.. a big one that involves fidelity. A girl from his "past" wouldnt be so pissed off today if they haven't had any interaction in the last little while. This chick thinks your man is single.... think about that!! Even if I wanted to defend your BF I couldnt.. there's too much evidence against him.
MrsHellnoFire Posted June 13, 2008 Posted June 13, 2008 LOL too true.. This is what I was thinking. If this chick really was a stalker.. I think your man's mom would have a face of annoyance, not of "guilt" Which was the exact word you used. Why else would your man hide everyone from the conversation they were having?? This chick stratched the $h!t out of your man's face. In what situations do women scratch men in the face?? If they are caught in a lie.. a big one that involves fidelity. A girl from his "past" wouldnt be so pissed off today if they haven't had any interaction in the last little while. This chick thinks your man is single.... think about that!! Even if I wanted to defend your BF I couldnt.. there's too much evidence against him. Boy, if the entire family is involved in such deception and encouragement of thier son's vices, they are all just pitiful. No integrity or character whatsoever. You'd be lucky to be rid of him if these are the circumstances.
Author littletoes Posted June 13, 2008 Author Posted June 13, 2008 Thanks everyone for all of the opinions, I have left out some things that I didnt mentioned when that girl showed up in her car not my bf's his mother reconized her and did look annopyed her actions were full of discust his mom told me that she doesnt like her and she feels as if she wants to slap her. While this was happening she told me she wanted to go inside because she couldnt stand her. Then my Bf walked back into the garage and told us to get back in the house because shes crazy. While he left he tried to get her out of area in where he lives he didnt want her to emabaress him in front of his home so he got her out of the neighbourhood. He left with her to talk to her to leave. He told me that he told her that he's involved with me and he wanrs her to leave him alone and me he told her that he doesnt want her and has a girl friend and thats when she scratched him. One little scratch on the neck not all over his face....... My bf and I have been communicating about this all Fing Week. I told him that if hes banging her than she should tell me and I will leave. Because one thing is forsure I will not put up with cheating. Thats who I am. I have more respect for my self than that. Hes very apologetic. The night this all happend he kepted saying sorry and he looked sincere and told me everything. I asked all the questions and he did't hesiate to anser them.
Author littletoes Posted June 13, 2008 Author Posted June 13, 2008 His mother also told me that shes crazy she keeps calling there house and hangs up the phone. She stalks alot. She stops and then continues again. He keeps telling me thats hes being honest with me.
theobserver Posted June 13, 2008 Posted June 13, 2008 I've had an ex life this so this is somewhat believable. It also broke up 2 of my then girlfriends at the time. Just be aware of what your getting into. That said what did he do to make her so angry, is she just naturally needy and can't take theyre not together anymore (that was my case) or did he do something so f*cked up she's lost a screw and in denial or just wants to not see him move on? Best of luck. It doesn't seem like he's sleeping with her etc, I personally would of told her (if I was the boyfriend) to leave or I'll call the cops then proceed into the house just to make her get the point. Who gives a damn what the neighbours think ? I guess your in an overly conservative area .. can't piss off the Jones' aye? Parents confirming with you she's unusual does support his explanation to you I guess he's trying to keep the peace with her so she doesn't go ape**** with you or his parents and got scratched for attempting to do that.
porter218 Posted June 14, 2008 Posted June 14, 2008 littletoes, you know in your heart he has cheated on you with this girl. He left with her to talk to her and try to calm her down so she wouldn't blow his cover in front of you. I have been in this very same situation. The mom really knows a little about it but she will not tell on him because she thinks you are a better catch for her son. When I say I have been in this situation, I mean I have been in this EXACT situation. You need to find this girls # and I promise you, If you stay calm when talking to her, she will tell you she has been sleeping with your man on and off for a long time. Don't be confrontational, because then she will get irrational and tell you nothing. The 2 of you are being played by him...but he has been playing her longer.
Chrome Barracuda Posted June 14, 2008 Posted June 14, 2008 littletoes, you know in your heart he has cheated on you with this girl. He left with her to talk to her and try to calm her down so she wouldn't blow his cover in front of you. I have been in this very same situation. The mom really knows a little about it but she will not tell on him because she thinks you are a better catch for her son. When I say I have been in this situation, I mean I have been in this EXACT situation. You need to find this girls # and I promise you, If you stay calm when talking to her, she will tell you she has been sleeping with your man on and off for a long time. Don't be confrontational, because then she will get irrational and tell you nothing. The 2 of you are being played by him...but he has been playing her longer. That's exactly what i said when given the facts of the first post. There's something wrong with this entire picture and it's not gonna be nicely.
porter218 Posted June 14, 2008 Posted June 14, 2008 I didn't even have to see the first post to know what was going on, I have been there myself. I saw the first post after I wrote my response, I really was tempted to write a response to everyone of her posts. Poor girl is getting played badly, she is in for a lot of heartache.
MichelleS1983 Posted June 14, 2008 Posted June 14, 2008 I agree with the others who say there's a WHOLE lot more to this story than you're hearing. If someone's a 'crazy stalker' and is making your life MISERABLE, you don't jump in the car with them. You call the police and get it DOCUMENTED. Each time the person 'stalks' you, you call the police and file a complaint - until you have enough evidence to get a protective order againts the 'stalker.' What you DON'T do is jump in their car and drive off with them. Unless, of course, you've been LYING to your 'stalker' and telling her that your current girlfriend is really your 'neighbor.' This guy's a lying sack of sh*t. What a load of BULL.
Author littletoes Posted June 18, 2008 Author Posted June 18, 2008 Hey Guys thanks for the posts. I must say I feel like I'm on a roller coaster. Each time I come on here and read a post I become really depressed so I think Im going to take off my profile off of here. IN my heart of hearts I want to believe him. He's been trying to convince me that evrything in our realtionship is fine. I seen him the other day Nad i broke down in tears. Because I want to belive him and I just dont feel right. I feel like there something missing. The reason why they broke up was because she lied to him about certain issues and he left her. He left in the car with her and he got out quickly to talk to her in a public place. How am I suppose to find her number???? ask him for it?
vivrantflo Posted June 19, 2008 Posted June 19, 2008 He left in the car with her and he got out quickly to talk to her in a public place. I hope you don't believe that garbage... that makes no sense..... I know this hurts a lot, but I think you know that the best thing to do is to get out of this relationship. The story doesn't add up.. and you have a bad feeling about everything. Those gut feelings are usually correct. Don't even go through the hassle of trying to get this woman's number.. just dump this guy. You deserve to be respected a lot more than this..
SueBee3490 Posted June 19, 2008 Posted June 19, 2008 I wouldn't be so sure I'd believe him either. I think you are trying to justify his actions because in fact you do have feelings (love?) for him. Sure his family isn't going to say anything against him, he is their son. I've dealt with this in a different way in that my bf's family (brothers & sisters) knew he was seeing others behind my back. They didn't say a word to me and I got so angry at them not telling me but came to realize that I wasn't family, he was. They will not say anything negative against their own blood even though it was wrong. I also tried to justify when my bf went out on me while dating and I so wanted to believe him - that he wouldn't do it again - because I loved him. Big mistake!! I should have kicked him out then. I think you are pulling at straws from him, his mother, etc. trying to make this whole thing make sense. You so want to believe him. I don't know for sure on what you've told us whether his story is true or not. I think that as Michelle says, get it documented with the police each time she comes over if what your bf's saying is true. But something tells me he will never do that. Good luck
porter218 Posted June 19, 2008 Posted June 19, 2008 You could ask him for her full name, then do a reverse phone# look up on whitepages.com or superpages.com. If he wants to know why tell him you were just curious. If he doesn't want to tell you then ask his mom. If nothing comes up when you try to do the # search then ...yes just ask him. If he refuses to tell you anything then leave him, he is hiding something. I can go ahead and promise you that you aren't going to like what you find out at all.
Walk Posted June 23, 2008 Posted June 23, 2008 When I first started dating my H, we had a few incidents like the one you described. His ex stalked him for months before we finally shook her. And he's not the type of guy to go for a restraining order against a woman. He doesn't fear her, so he doesn't see any need for police involvement in his personal issues. I think you'd be an idiot to talk to the girl. If his parents are telling you that she's been stalking him, then there's something fundamentally screwy with that girl. She's not going to talk with you like a mentally healthy person would. She's not going to tell you that there's nothing going on between them when she's willing to make a complete idiot out of herself trying to create something between them. The girl will resort to scratching the person she's attempting to hold onto, and you feel she's going to rationally discuss her role in your bf's life? I think you're crazy if you believe this. I seriously think you'll be much happier, and feel far more confident in your relationship if you would talk to your bf about the online stuff you saw. You two need to air the dirty laundry and hash out what's going on. 'Cause either your bf isn't happy with the relationship and is seeking outside validation, or he is happy and you're creating problems where none should exist. If you can't trust him, then the relationship won't withstand the pressures of time.
vivrantflo Posted June 23, 2008 Posted June 23, 2008 When I first started dating my H, we had a few incidents like the one you described. His ex stalked him for months before we finally shook her. And he's not the type of guy to go for a restraining order against a woman. He doesn't fear her, so he doesn't see any need for police involvement in his personal issues. Right.. but did your H (bf at the time) hop into a car with her, and go for a drive while he was dating you??? And at a family function? With you present???? no. Did your bf at the time tell his ex that YOU are his neighbor?? And not his current gf?? no. Even if he DID hop into a car with her, and vanished with her.. leaving you at his parents house. And he came back and gave you a line like this.. "He left in the car with her and he got out quickly to talk to her in a public place." Would you believe that crap?? I think you'd be an idiot to talk to the girl. If his parents are telling you that she's been stalking him, then there's something fundamentally screwy with that girl. Blood is thicker than water. If his mom knows that he's two timing, she's not going to rat out her own son. Especially if she thinks that the OP is a better woman for her son. I'm really starting to think that the OP is the woman on the side, and this other chick has been this guy's girlfriend for much longer. I seriously think you'll be much happier, and feel far more confident in your relationship if you would talk to your bf about the online stuff you saw. Hmmm, no wonder you're off base. I don't even think you're replying to the correct thread. She didn't see anything online. All these events transpired right in front of her. 'Cause either your bf isn't happy with the relationship and is seeking outside validation, Yup, he was seeking outside validation alright. And Im sure he was pretty happy before all this happend.. he was banging two chicks at the same time. or he is happy and you're creating problems where none should exist. If you can't trust him, then the relationship won't withstand the pressures of time. Oh wow.. so lets get this straight. So if you're at a family function, and a woman rolls up, calls out your husband.. makes a scene... your husband tells all his family AND you, to get in the house... then he hops into her car, and takes off to goodness knows where.. He comes back with a scratch on his face... So showing concern in this behaviour means you're "creating problems where none should exist???" Give me a break.
SueBee3490 Posted June 23, 2008 Posted June 23, 2008 Blood is thicker than water. If his mom knows that he's two timing, she's not going to rat out her own son. Especially if she thinks that the OP is a better woman for her son. I'm really starting to think that the OP is the woman on the side, and this other chick has been this guy's girlfriend for much longer. Exactly vivrantflo! That's what I said. I think she is relying too much on the fact that she not only believes him but she is putting alot of trust into his family. Family will most likely not rat out their kid. Also the comment about him telling the ex that his current gf is a neighbor is strange. He should be truthful and say she is his gf and if the "whacko" ex goes off on him, then call the police. This is what p*ssed me off about my bf is that he acted like I didn't exist. That hurts when he didn't even acknowledge me to others. Almost like he felt ashamed of me. I don't know but something is not right about this whole thing.
Walk Posted June 24, 2008 Posted June 24, 2008 Right.. but did your H (bf at the time) hop into a car with her, and go for a drive while he was dating you??? And at a family function? With you present???? Yeah, my hubby went to his crazy ex's house. Just curious, did you get cheated on recently? Cause you seem really defensive about my post. Its almost as though you feel like you're the one who was wronged in all this, and you feel I need to be put in my place. Would you believe that crap?? Depends.. Littletoes has been with her bf for nearly 3 years now (that's what she posted in a seperate thread). He's done some shady things, and Littletoes has side stepped confronting him about it in the past. Not that I blame her for that.. I think I would've reacted the same way. However, she's a smart, capable woman who really needs to evaluate her relationship on her own, and start making some real decisions about her life and what she wants from a relationship. To keep a relationship where there is so little trust, or break from this one to find one where she can share mutual trust with someone. Hmmm, no wonder you're off base. I don't even think you're replying to the correct thread. She didn't see anything online. All these events transpired right in front of her. It's from a thread she started a while ago. Along with how she freaked because she found a light colored hair and he said it was his mom's hair. Just curious... what color hair does this crazy chick have, Littletoes? Oh wow.. so lets get this straight. So if you're at a family function, and a woman rolls up, calls out your husband.. makes a scene... your husband tells all his family AND you, to get in the house... then he hops into her car, and takes off to goodness knows where.. He comes back with a scratch on his face... So showing concern in this behaviour means you're "creating problems where none should exist???" I'd have a problem with it, sure... I'd discuss it with him. But ultimately I trust him and because of that I believe him when he tells me X happened. My H's ex put him through hell, and all I'm saying is I can understand a guy trying to create distance, and for not filing restraining orders. Littletoes doesn't trust her bf, and because there is a lack of trust then the relationship is going to fail. That was all I was trying to say. Her bf probably is cheating, and littletoes has every reason not to trust him as far as she can throw him... but doesn't change the facts. She doesnt' trust him. She either needs to dump him and move on, or try to get this bf to fess up to reality so they can work on a better relationship. The only thing I said that directly contradicted what others were saying is that she shouldn't contact the crazy girl. It won't make Littletoes feel better, it won't create a better relationship with the bf, it won't even allow her to feel she did the right thing by breaking up with him because then she'll start to question whether crazy girl lied and she'll beg her bf to forgive her for believing crazy girl in the first place. Littletoes needs to evaluate her relationship based on the facts she has in front of her, and determine if this is the type of relationship she wants to have for the rest of her life.
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