confuzed25 Posted June 12, 2008 Posted June 12, 2008 its only been 2 weeks since we broke up....i left him because for about 2-3 weeks he was hanging out with another girl alot, more than me even. He was different around me, more distant. And I knew he was talking to her and texting her alot. He kept lying and lying to me saying that nothing was going on with them and she is just a friend and everything was fine between me and him. But I knew different so we got into a big fight where i said some mean things to him and walked out. We havent spoken since except for the email he wrote me a few days later saying im insecure and he just doesnt do insecurity and that he never lied to me, he is attracted to her and wouldnt say that he would never date her but she is just a good friend. he said he didnt appreciate me calling him a player and a liar. I never wrote him back and we havent spoken or seen each other. Well tonight i went to bike night and there were hundreds and hundreds of motorcycles. But of course who did I run into???? My ex and his new girl. The same girl that he kept lying to me about. I stood there talking to his friends, dad, and sister who all liked me and were excited to see me....and the ex just walked away when he saw me approaching and wouldnt look at me or speak to me. I cant believe how hard it hit me, i thought i was over him and doing so well. But it really really bothered me, i actually cried on the way home and just thought that i miss him so much. We were only together 2 and a half months but it sucks so bad that he left me and is happy with this new girl and i have no one. It sucks that I thought I was ok but seeing them together hurt really bad
0hpenelope Posted June 12, 2008 Posted June 12, 2008 I'm sorry... Of course it hurts. You're not healed from things yet. You saw THE test, you know? You faced it. You're still here. I hope you're not being hard on yourself for not being over him "already". We know it doesn't work that way at all... It's always time, time time... Just ride the feeling for some time and then when you're ready to, let go. This is a bump in the road. I feel for you, I really do. I feel really blessed that I don't know what's going on in Lawrence's life at all...
Template Posted June 13, 2008 Posted June 13, 2008 If I sound mean about what I am about to say, but I'm truly not trying to. But what did you want him to do? Not date anyone until you are ready to date, or have someone in your life? What will make you happy at this point? That he's miserable without any as well? LIke I said, I'm not trying to be mean, and I have been in your shoes where I've seen an ex with someone so soon after a breakup. Naturally I felt furious, confused, jealous, etc.; but I've always had to remind myself that it's not my business anymore how they spend their time or with whom. The only thing I can recommend is to engage in activities in which you minimize exposure to him. For instance, "bike night", did you know he was going to be there? Does he have a bike? I mean, if he just got one, and he just "happens" to be there, I understand the awkwardness. But if you knew he has one, and that there might be a chance, I don't think you should have gone. At this point, he's moving on with his life, and doesn't seem like he cares about you. He won't change his life or lifestyle to try and avoid you. If you want to avoid the pain, unfortunately, you may have to change yours. Right now it's all about you, and trying to make sure you heal and get better. One day, you will be better, and be able to engage in some of these activites again, but in the meantime you should look out for yourself.
sally4sara Posted June 13, 2008 Posted June 13, 2008 Well at least it confirmed something to you. You two broke up because you felt his friendship with this girl wasn't on the up and up. And now you know you were not making a big stink out of nothing. Now you know you were not just being crazy and insecure. If his friendship had been a friendship and not an attraction, they wouldn't be dating this quickly. So you lost nothing you had to begin with and you gained the right to trust your gut in the future.
Author confuzed25 Posted June 13, 2008 Author Posted June 13, 2008 template.....hell yea i want him to be miserable. he lied to me over and over again and was seeing another girl behind my back. why would i want him to be happy??? i dont care if that is immature or whatever, he led me on and kept stringing me along and lying to me. She knew he had a girlfriend and she kept pursuing him. I dont want either one of them to be happy. Its not like he liked her and was honest with me and told me and broke it off with me on good terms because he knew it wasnt fair to me. No, he made me miserable wondering what was going on with them until it got so bad that i broke it off myself. Then he wrote me an email, having the balls to say that i am insecure and that he never lied to me, she is just a good friend. (But now he is with her) Then he continued to say im a great girl and hes very glad he met me and we should stay in touch and he hopes we are on good terms. (But he walks away from me and cant even say hi when i see him.) All of those things he did to me are messed up, and i hope that the grass is not greener on the other side for him. he doesnt deserve it
Template Posted June 13, 2008 Posted June 13, 2008 Ok. That's fair and understandable. But while he's out and about having fun, and living his life, you are obsessing over an obviously crappy relationship. He is still making you miserable, and affecting your life negatively, and he's not even in it anymore. What made this guy so great in the 2-1/2 months that you've been together, that even after a bad ending, you voluntarily subject yourself to more misery. Like I said, I may have come off mean, but I wasn't trying to, nor was I wishing for his happiness; it just sounded that way. My whole point is you should think of yourself, and what makes you happy. Not concentrate on a jerk who obviously doesn't care for you
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