Been on LS for 1 Month

[kizik]

Hey all,

 

well, I've been a member of this little community for exactly one month now, and amassed over 300 posts. (That's a bit much, eh?) Anyway, I feel like I've been on here for 6 months at least; I've gone through such a range of emotions. Just wanted to say thanks to the members who have gotten to know me, given me advice, and truly cared about me and my breakup.

 

From the bottom of my heart, thanks, guys. -kizik

[foxh1234]

Hey all,

 

well, I've been a member of this little community for exactly one month now, and amassed over 300 posts. (That's a bit much, eh?) Anyway, I feel like I've been on here for 6 months at least; I've gone through such a range of emotions. Just wanted to say thanks to the members who have gotten to know me, given me advice, and truly cared about me and my breakup.

 

From the bottom of my heart, thanks, guys. -kizik

 

Hey Kiz, time flies when your heart broken eh ? NOT!!!! It has been a pleasure to talk to you on here and IMO you have given much more to this site than taken. Your insights and advice to me has been great and very much appreciated. If you need anything, let me know man.

[kizik]

IMO you have given much more to this site than taken.

 

Fox, I don't know if that's true, but I appreciate you saying so. People have been getting mad at me lately, because they post about their abusive BFs or GFs, and I say, "Get out, they're treating you like sh*t." And they go, "You're negative!"

 

In reality, I'd like to help people avoid situations I've been in. To say, "You're good enough, and you don't deserve this."

 

Thank you fox, your support in particular has been invaluable.

[critter909]

I have only been on here for 2 days. And don't ask me how but it has made me feel better already. I don't even think it's from posting my own sad story because I just stated the facts, didn't even get emotional (when I'm actually a wreck). But it's somehow really calming and healing to read everyone's stories and advice. I happened on LS by chance and so glad I did!

[kizik]

Critter,

 

glad to have you on, and even gladder to hear it's been helping you.

 

-kiz

[northstar1]

Hey all,

 

well, I've been a member of this little community for exactly one month now, and amassed over 300 posts. (That's a bit much, eh?) Anyway, I feel like I've been on here for 6 months at least; I've gone through such a range of emotions. Just wanted to say thanks to the members who have gotten to know me, given me advice, and truly cared about me and my breakup.

 

From the bottom of my heart, thanks, guys. -kizik

 

You've posted a lot of helpful stuff man - for me and others.

Im trying to get through a 'breakup' and any advice from people going through it really grounds me.

[replicator]

Kizik, your presence here is appreciated.

 

Some days are very dark for me, and I'm glad I can come on here and use it as an outlet for my emotions, and get feedback and support from good people such as yourself.

 

Thanks.

[LikeCharlotte]

From the bottom of my heart, thanks

Back at ya. I would have gone insane without LS. I had nowhere else to talk about how I was feeling.

[kizik]

What do you know, it's my best friends in the world right now.

 

North - you've been a help to me, too, ya know.

 

Rep - definitely someone I feel a kinship with in this awful, terrible thing. Dark days is right. I like your Keane quote.

 

LC - you are very intelligent, and a hell of a writer. Thanks as always for your perspectives.

 

I am SOOO goddamn tempted to write my ex. I miss her terribly today. It hurts that she hasn't called. I mean, I'm not calling her either, but I don't owe her anything. It's such a battle of wills. We're both so goddamn stubborn about each other.

 

I don't know how I'm doing this. I don't know how I go on. Get up, go to work, go to school. I feel like I have died and I don't know myself.

 

May this be the worst heartache I ever feel. I can't do it again, you guys. I didn't know life got this hard. I always felt like I was above this, that my relationship was different.

 

I feel like such a loser without her. I was so proud to have her, and now I have NO friends who care about me or love me at all.

 

In-person ones, anyway.

[northstar1]

What do you know, it's my best friends in the world right now.

 

North - you've been a help to me, too, ya know.

 

Rep - definitely someone I feel a kinship with in this awful, terrible thing. Dark days is right. I like your Keane quote.

 

LC - you are very intelligent, and a hell of a writer. Thanks as always for your perspectives.

 

I am SOOO goddamn tempted to write my ex. I miss her terribly today. It hurts that she hasn't called. I mean, I'm not calling her either, but I don't owe her anything. It's such a battle of wills. We're both so goddamn stubborn about each other.

 

I don't know how I'm doing this. I don't know how I go on. Get up, go to work, go to school. I feel like I have died and I don't know myself.

 

May this be the worst heartache I ever feel. I can't do it again, you guys. I didn't know life got this hard. I always felt like I was above this, that my relationship was different.

 

I feel like such a loser without her. I was so proud to have her, and now I have NO friends who care about me or love me at all.

 

In-person ones, anyway.

 

You're doing great man. Despite your pain, you've been on here every day, posting about your progress, and helping the rest of us. Sure there will be days you take a step back, but slowly you are going in the right direction. Sometimes it's just hard to see that when you are in the middle of it.

 

I have had some really bad days too - where I feel completely alone.

 

I know the temptation is great to write her - just to make some sort of contact. But you know it's not a good idea, and I know you won't do it.

[kizik]

Thanks for saying that, North. I think the only thing I've done right that anyone can learn from is upholding No Contact. In the month I've been here, I've seen people contact their exes, and get really hurt from it. So, I'm at 3 1/2 weeks without talking to the girl.

 

And it's the most awful thing ever.

 

It's so much easier to give advice than to know what to do for myself. I'm transferring to a University downtown this fall, which will be exciting and i'm sure I'll make friends... but I have a whole summer to get through in the same tiny apartment at the same lame, adult-commuter college.

 

If I had some f*cking friends, this would be so much easier. And if YOU guys have friends, get off the f*cking message board and go hang with them!!!

 

I will never be this alone again. It's like staring into hell.

[northstar1]

Thanks for saying that, North. I think the only thing I've done right that anyone can learn from is upholding No Contact. In the month I've been here, I've seen people contact their exes, and get really hurt from it. So, I'm at 3 1/2 weeks without talking to the girl.

 

And it's the most awful thing ever.

 

It's so much easier to give advice than to know what to do for myself. I'm transferring to a University downtown this fall, which will be exciting and i'm sure I'll make friends... but I have a whole summer to get through in the same tiny apartment at the same lame, adult-commuter college.

 

If I had some f*cking friends, this would be so much easier. And if YOU guys have friends, get off the f*cking message board and go hang with them!!!

 

I will never be this alone again. It's like staring into hell.

 

Well you're at nearly a month - that's great. I'm on day 3 of NC and it's been brutal. So many things I want to write and say to her - but I know,from reading your posts and others, that I just cannot.

I'm still trying to wrap my head around the idea that likely I will never have any intimacy with her again or do any of the things we used to do.

Some days are harder than others. But I've been trying to keep occupied at the gym and reading and spending time with friends when possible.

But I still, despite these efforts, do feel lonely.

[replicator]

Thanks for saying that, North. I think the only thing I've done right that anyone can learn from is upholding No Contact. In the month I've been here, I've seen people contact their exes, and get really hurt from it. So, I'm at 3 1/2 weeks without talking to the girl.

 

And it's the most awful thing ever.

 

It's so much easier to give advice than to know what to do for myself. I'm transferring to a University downtown this fall, which will be exciting and i'm sure I'll make friends... but I have a whole summer to get through in the same tiny apartment at the same lame, adult-commuter college.

 

If I had some f*cking friends, this would be so much easier. And if YOU guys have friends, get off the f*cking message board and go hang with them!!!

 

I will never be this alone again. It's like staring into hell.

 

 

I sometimes feel like a total loser as well. I didn't realize how much she validated my self worth. I felt like I was someone with something of value to offer. Now I feel like I have nothing at all.

 

I gave up my friends for her. Now it is a bit awkward that I approach them after my gf leaves me. I made the mistake of closing off the world around me to spend time with her. That was a big mistake. I'm going to start joining some clubs and maybe even volunteer. Hopefully will meet some interesting people that way. Perhaps you can look into something like that too?

[kizik]

Definitely. That's funny, rep, as I was showering a minute ago I was thinking, "Homeless shelter!" It felt good the last time I did it.

 

I feel you about the friend thing. The thing with me is that all my old friends are still lame and boring, not fun to talk to. I didn't stop hanging with them b/c of her - more like b/c of THEM.

 

You are SO right about her validating your self-worth. Well-put.

[Template]

Hey Kizik, you are the man bro. I love your posts, and the honesty that you bring. We've joined up about the same time, and I agree with you that this forum has been great. In pain we all share a common bond, and because we can sympathize with each other, the wonderful people has been very supportive and non-judgemental. Becuase of this forum, while my immediate past experience was one of the more intensive emtional times of my life, I feel like I'm healing at a much faster pace than at any other time with my past relationships, and this is because people understand where we are coming from. One day I'll be completely over this hurt, and probably find love again, but you know what, I'll keep on coming back to help others get through their tough times, as you all have for me.

[kizik]

Template,

 

thanks for your kind words. I am very stoked for you about your promotion! I wish I had something exciting like that going on in my life, it would really boost my self-esteem.

 

In the meantime, though, I'm preparing for some shows I'll be playing, and trying to meet new friends. Transfering to a state school this fall, which is cool.

 

This summer is going to be a challenge though! The ex is moving back to town, and the temptation to contact her will be that much greater, b/c of proximity.