sultry33 Posted June 11, 2008 Posted June 11, 2008 well tonight let down again.. damn.. he says work and yes i know its work but right now im feeling angry let down blar blar.. i had tried breaking away from him.. said if i dont hear from you then its ok i understand you dont want to see me anymore.. he replied again saying its been frantic.. busy with work.. then HE suggested tonight.. but as above he had to stay on.. being a policeman yes no bloody choice.. plus time he will finish will be no time left for him to see me plus sleep.. had my hair done.. tan.. relaxed.. chilled.. bought new top.. lol i said ok... nothing else.. he then said i know your angry.. so am i.. i have day off monday i can see you then! xxx damn... i hate being needy.. i decided to not ask him.. see what happens then he suggests the day and no event.. so monday it is.. if not im done i really wanted this to work you know.. no living together just being together, but its sooo hard when you cant see the other person. some will say move on! i have tried but its not what i want.. i want us to be the couple we was.. i want to be me again not some fit in babe.. i know he does not see me like this but this feels this way.. im sure he still wants me or he would ignore me.. like i said to do.. why would he reply if he doesnt? any thoughts?
foxh1234 Posted June 11, 2008 Posted June 11, 2008 well tonight let down again.. damn.. he says work and yes i know its work but right now im feeling angry let down blar blar.. i had tried breaking away from him.. said if i dont hear from you then its ok i understand you dont want to see me anymore.. he replied again saying its been frantic.. busy with work.. then HE suggested tonight.. but as above he had to stay on.. being a policeman yes no bloody choice.. plus time he will finish will be no time left for him to see me plus sleep.. had my hair done.. tan.. relaxed.. chilled.. bought new top.. lol i said ok... nothing else.. he then said i know your angry.. so am i.. i have day off monday i can see you then! xxx damn... i hate being needy.. i decided to not ask him.. see what happens then he suggests the day and no event.. so monday it is.. if not im done i really wanted this to work you know.. no living together just being together, but its sooo hard when you cant see the other person. some will say move on! i have tried but its not what i want.. i want us to be the couple we was.. i want to be me again not some fit in babe.. i know he does not see me like this but this feels this way.. im sure he still wants me or he would ignore me.. like i said to do.. why would he reply if he doesnt? any thoughts? I am by no means an expert on any of this relationship stuff but in my opinion, he will not commit to you if he can have you sitting waiting for him when he feels like seeing you. If I were you I would sit him down and have a talk and explain exactly what you would like. If he doesn't agree then tell him that you have to stop seeing him for awhile and go NC. If he wants you, he will miss you and contact you. If he doesn't, I say move on and find someone who wants to be with you all the way. This is just my opinion and I may be way off base, but you asked. Good luck.
Author sultry33 Posted June 11, 2008 Author Posted June 11, 2008 I am by no means an expert on any of this relationship stuff but in my opinion, he will not commit to you if he can have you sitting waiting for him when he feels like seeing you. If I were you I would sit him down and have a talk and explain exactly what you would like. If he doesn't agree then tell him that you have to stop seeing him for awhile and go NC. If he wants you, he will miss you and contact you. If he doesn't, I say move on and find someone who wants to be with you all the way. This is just my opinion and I may be way off base, but you asked. Good luck. HI fox yea this is what im intending on asking.. when i finally get to see him.. i have tried suggesting it via text.. ie i said im not waiting any longer.. but he then came up with a date and reasons for why he couldnt make it sooner.. so then im left thinking he still wants me.. i am quite busy too, works really picked up this week.. now not being evicted so im tending to the house more.. generally happier, just dont really want to give up on him if he is actually swamped at work.. but on the other hand im not being played for a fool.. when we was together he was always sincere, did not lie and was totally upfront and like me hates games.. so maybe i need to chill.. i really want this talk with him though as i really cant take much more and im also worried that i will get mad, go nc and he will miss me but it will be too late.. i know myself, then id feel worse as id feel that our love was not real.. do you know what i mean? id hate to stop loving him, never felt this way before either x im usually out of there as soon as the words its over are out.. although normally its me saying it..
mollers Posted June 12, 2008 Posted June 12, 2008 Hi Sultry, wondered what had happened with your meeting.... Hate to play devil's advocate here but do you think he is really getting caught up at work or do you think he might me using it as an excuse? I know you will hate to hear that because so would I but I wonder if he is stringing you along because he is does not want to hurt your feelings? I could be way off the mark here but I just wondered what your gut feeling was? I hope I am wrong and that you do get to sort things out but it is quite a while since he first told you he had not been ignoring your texts etc (am referring back to your old thread when he first arranged to meet you since he left) and then he used the excuse of being busy with work etc and now he is saying it again. I know he has a job with irregular hours but surely he could squeeze you in somehow, I know i would if I was trying to save my relationship. I feel like I am being very negative here but I would hate for him to keep putting you off each time he arranges to meet. There is nothing worse than waiting to hear from someone, it feels like an eternity and you put off doing other things in case they ring and you miss them etc. Please carry on looking after yourself, I am thinking of your best interests, honest.
carrie3107 Posted June 12, 2008 Posted June 12, 2008 Hi hun Know the feeling broke nc on tuesday and he texted straight back. After a number of texts invited round his for coffee chatting and kissing etc... Texted him this morning to ask if his dog had flees (been bit) straight away he answered back. Couple of more texts between us. I've just texted him going 2 ask the question after the other night what's going on between us? No pressure just curious. Nothing back yet. This is round 3 of doing this situation!!!!
Author sultry33 Posted June 12, 2008 Author Posted June 12, 2008 hi mollers, carrie mollers.. i dont mind you saying it.. its what goes through my head.. constantly, but i have asked him direct since then and he answers that he is just overly busy.. we live a hr drive away.. but i have had enough.. if he cancels monday im through.. im not doing it anymore as im worth more than cancelled dates.. eh like fox said i need to see him to talk.. but if i cant see him i cant talk, but monday is D DAY.. cant say id be happy but i be relieved in a strange way. im busy now with work.. weekends are fun;) and im returning to myself, yeah i miss him, yeah im still sad sometimes but strangly im stronger.. x carrie.. go slow, dont ask questions too soon is my advice.. dont do anything you dont want to do either.. good luck to you i know where your at x
carrie3107 Posted June 12, 2008 Posted June 12, 2008 Thanks hun, managed to resist over the past 3 months but went a bit too far the last couple of times we met!! The only reason why i asked those questions was because last time we met up he said there was a chance to get back together then he went cold on me, so after 3 weeks of no contact i texted him about something to do with someone we knew. When we were talking i said were going to have to talk about whats happening between us because its stressful, which he replied yeah but its good stress!!!! Im getting back to old self because i would be sat here really stressing over if hes going to text or not, but for some reason today im not. Maybe that nc helped me calm down!!!
mollers Posted June 12, 2008 Posted June 12, 2008 hi mollers, ....im not doing it anymore as im worth more than cancelled dates.. yeah i miss him, yeah im still sad sometimes but strangly im stronger.. x You are definitely worth more than cancelled dates, yes. And I know what you mean when you say yes you miss him but strangely you are stronger. I feel exactly the same, I miss him and probably still love him, but I also feel strangely free. It's bizarre. Keep your chin up until Monday and you will deal with whatever happens.X
Author sultry33 Posted June 12, 2008 Author Posted June 12, 2008 Thanks hun, managed to resist over the past 3 months but went a bit too far the last couple of times we met!! The only reason why i asked those questions was because last time we met up he said there was a chance to get back together then he went cold on me, so after 3 weeks of no contact i texted him about something to do with someone we knew. When we were talking i said were going to have to talk about whats happening between us because its stressful, which he replied yeah but its good stress!!!! Im getting back to old self because i would be sat here really stressing over if hes going to text or not, but for some reason today im not. Maybe that nc helped me calm down!!! arr its that dreaded pulling back stuff.. i have been there.. 2nd time i saw him he said he felt like part of him was returning to me... then we had a argument over text.. stupid dating sites stuff.. he had joined so i joined 2.. one was a toy boy one.. he freaked said he set his up to catch me out.. i closed all mine down face book/myspace everything.. but he was distant after that.. no more i miss you.. love you nothing.. we have seen each other since but its bit strained.. im not sure where we at.. but when i try pull away he seems pull me back.. its like you want to know the answers.. but asking the questions puts you back to vulnerable.. could be rejected? maybe he dont know yet.. if you need answers ask.. ive slept with my ex and its great but emiotionally its not.. i could get great sex anywhere.. and to be honest im not feeling the "love" atm from him and if that does not happen soon im gone.. you need to ask yourself where your at? what you want?
Author sultry33 Posted June 12, 2008 Author Posted June 12, 2008 You are definitely worth more than cancelled dates, yes. And I know what you mean when you say yes you miss him but strangely you are stronger. I feel exactly the same, I miss him and probably still love him, but I also feel strangely free. It's bizarre. Keep your chin up until Monday and you will deal with whatever happens.X thanks mollers.. well im out this weekend got a doorman to tease he has been watching me for months.. well actually i knew him few yrs ago.. but last week he said i made him blush! we was doing the shake your butt move haha.. then i went over to the fan and he said that!.. well only flirting.. but feels good flirting.. nothing in it on my part.. as to monday.. yeah i let you know x
carrie3107 Posted June 12, 2008 Posted June 12, 2008 im not sure where we at.. but when i try pull away he seems pull me back.. I agree its like you want to know the answers.. but asking the questions puts you back to vulnerable.. could be rejected? maybe he dont know yet.. if you need answers ask.. Yeah so you think your moving on even though first thing in the morning you think of him ive slept with my ex and its great but emiotionally its not.. i could get great sex anywhere.. and to be honest im not feeling the "love" atm from him and if that does not happen soon im gone.. you need to ask yourself where your at? what you want?
Author sultry33 Posted June 12, 2008 Author Posted June 12, 2008 lol now im confused.. happens often.. are you asking me my own questions? i have no idea where im at.. id like to think we are redating... and its going towards us being gf/bf again.. but no moving in he has to gain my trust for that to happen.. what i want is him.. thats all, to have him love me still
carrie3107 Posted June 12, 2008 Posted June 12, 2008 Sorry hun it took me so long to type that i couldnt edit the post above lol im not sure where we at.. but when i try pull away he seems pull me back.. I agree or let myself be pulled back its like you want to know the answers.. but asking the questions puts you back to vulnerable.. could be rejected? maybe he dont know yet.. if you need answers ask.. Yeah so you think your moving on even though first thing in the morning you think of him. ive slept with my ex and its great but emiotionally its not.. i could get great sex anywhere.. and to be honest im not feeling the "love" atm from him and if that does not happen soon im gone.. Yeah unfortunately i did again the other night. Not even under the influence of alcohol, and yes i could get sex anywhere, was offered it the other week of a random bloke but refused. you need to ask yourself where your at? what you want? I'm happier than i have been for a while, maybe cause ive done some major chill out sessions with my mates etc... which had been needed for a while and reduced my stress levels. Im trying to change my job sending loads of application forms off etc.... Going to start college in September doing an accountancy course which will help me for the future. I would like him in my life because when it was good it was good but when it was bad it was bad. If he doesnt want me in his life then Im happy with that, but he cant expect me to come over his house for coffee when either one of us is horny!!! That would work for a while but what about when some new bloke comes up to you and says do you fancy going for a drink? Does that count as cheating on your ex with benefits!!!! or do you refuse that person in case the ex wants to met up??? This is when it gets weird!!! Good luck for Monday hun, but we both need to remind ourselfs I deserve better than this!
Author sultry33 Posted June 12, 2008 Author Posted June 12, 2008 Yeah unfortunately i did again the other night. Not even under the influence of alcohol, and yes i could get sex anywhere, was offered it the other week of a random bloke but refused. you need to ask yourself where your at? what you want? I'm happier than i have been for a while, maybe cause ive done some major chill out sessions with my mates etc... which had been needed for a while and reduced my stress levels. Im trying to change my job sending loads of application forms off etc.... Going to start college in September doing an accountancy course which will help me for the future. I would like him in my life because when it was good it was good but when it was bad it was bad. If he doesnt want me in his life then Im happy with that, but he cant expect me to come over his house for coffee when either one of us is horny!!! That would work for a while but what about when some new bloke comes up to you and says do you fancy going for a drink? Does that count as cheating on your ex with benefits!!!! or do you refuse that person in case the ex wants to met up??? This is when it gets weird!!! Good luck for Monday hun, but we both need to remind ourselfs I deserve better than this! thats the bit i think about too, i go out every week and do get at least 3 guys a night ask for drinks.. i say no but my mates just roll there eyes.. they say its only a drink.. yeah but i dont want him to think im cheating.. i know id be upset if was other way rd.. im always horny as i have very high sex drive.. my ex kjnows this.. claims to be the same.. lol but he has no drive like mine.. to not do it would be near on impossible for me.. i dont actually see it as he is using me.. more like its how we are.. but to be FAITHFUL to him i need to feel close... its what made us happen.. without that feeling he is to me a FWB and i cant let him be that.. id rather walk away.. would be like i down graded him.. like our love was a lie.. i have not thought about sleeping with anyone but him and it still hurts to think that id have this with someone else but i live in real world know myself and fwb is not what i want.. yrs ago its all i wanted..
carrie3107 Posted June 12, 2008 Posted June 12, 2008 I think what we both have to be realistic about is that they dont want us unless they have nothing else to do. (Which is also the same about me, dont know about u) They dont want anyone else to have us (which is the same on my part) They want us when they want the good times without the responsibilities But we want them lock stock but without the shackles!!! So were do you turn round to yourself and say enough is enough, you've kept me hanging on long enough, with the hints of a possible relationship.... 3 months down the road, 6 months down the road. 10 years down the road????? Are you prepared to do that???? Am I prepared to do that??? This is the question i need to ask myself!!!
Author sultry33 Posted June 12, 2008 Author Posted June 12, 2008 I think what we both have to be realistic about is that they dont want us unless they have nothing else to do. (Which is also the same about me, dont know about u) They dont want anyone else to have us (which is the same on my part) They want us when they want the good times without the responsibilities But we want them lock stock but without the shackles!!! So were do you turn round to yourself and say enough is enough, you've kept me hanging on long enough, with the hints of a possible relationship.... 3 months down the road, 6 months down the road. 10 years down the road????? Are you prepared to do that???? Am I prepared to do that??? This is the question i need to ask myself!!! exactly.. i think when we realise this we will say nope busy.. but cannot do it till your ready.. for me its monday if he is busy again.. after that depends on how monday goes, how i feel about him.. i have a switch that will click.. once its set off i know for me id be gone no matter what.. its how i am.. whats keeping me going is the love we had.. maybe still have, but i wont be used.. i want him to miss me.. pester me .. chase me hell im sick of chasing him.. i have never chased anyone and i still dont get why i chase him.. i can do better.. i could do worse.. but in my heart i love him im going make sure monday rocks though.. well if he is not busy.. if not it will most certainly be his loss.. keep each other posted ok? i got work now..
carrie3107 Posted June 12, 2008 Posted June 12, 2008 Ok hun, go get some work done I've had my text message delivery report on and when ive checked my message reports some of my text messages from yesturday havent reached him yet! (guess he wasnt lying about that one) What else wasnt he lying about??? Getting back together So is it possible that the text message that i sent him about what whats going on with us he might never receive it. Do i msn him?????
Author sultry33 Posted June 12, 2008 Author Posted June 12, 2008 he may have his phone off.. be out of signal. i wouldnt msn him.. just see what happens.. remember busy busy.. thats what i have to do tell myself.. he replied to my text today.. im not replying til sun night lol.. well its my busy time now now have to decide do i go out friday an sat.. or just sat? i heard its going to rain all weekend yipeeee... nice day for car show not! i dont know what gets in me sometimes.. im like jekel an hyde:) maybe i have split personality.. if so i want the kick ass one on monday please the sexy sweet one on the weekend. If i dont feel it i can act it.. i hope you stay strong this weekend go out have some fun.. i dont drunk text anymore.. although i sometimes dream that i did:eek: i have told him my feelings not changed an that i miss him.. just up to him now eh. do you go out much? im lucky my work is online.. so im always about the net somewhere lurking. have fun this weekend
carrie3107 Posted June 13, 2008 Posted June 13, 2008 I've made a big mistake... Dont know why but i was round his area last night so i went to see him. I knocked a couple of times and the door was open so i went in and shouted his name. Got a bad response. So i left and texted him sorry, shouldnt have come round dont know where i stand, guess i never will, ill delete your number you delete my number, i wont bother you again. Bye. Yeah i get out and about a lot more than i have for months, go partying and see my mates etc.... Work is boring that is why im trying to change my job. Doesnt keep me busy gives me too much time to reflect!!! Hope you have better luck, but im breaking free.
Author sultry33 Posted June 13, 2008 Author Posted June 13, 2008 oh no.. i guess its harder living so close.. i used to wish that.. then our paths would cross, but it must be hell knowing he is close by. did you text him? have you deleted his number? anything else from him?
carrie3107 Posted June 13, 2008 Posted June 13, 2008 I get out and about with my mates more than normal. Hope you have better luck then me but ive got to let him go!!!! As the song kim wilde sang " Set me free why dont you babe, you dont really want me, you just keep me hanging on"
Author sultry33 Posted June 13, 2008 Author Posted June 13, 2008 maybe the time is right for you.. at least you got to close it right? will be tough for you for a bit but stick to your guns.. be strong i know i have been here.. we have text broke up so many times.. he has texted move on! dont text call contact me ever.. said he is not contacting me again.. but we calm down.. start talking again. a few times i have wished that he does not reply.. but then wished he will... like i said prev its a rollercoaster.. some can ride.. some cant and some dont want to.. if my time comes i be strong i have to.. too many rides are not good for anyone. its great that you can get out, have some fun.. stay strong.. and post here if you need to talk x
carrie3107 Posted June 13, 2008 Posted June 13, 2008 Hi hon No i havent texted him, what's the point .... No he hasnt texted, what's the point... Just disappointed in myself in not keeping my emotions in check and not listening to my closest friend about letting it all go over your head!!!! Just got to get on with it!!!!
Author sultry33 Posted June 13, 2008 Author Posted June 13, 2008 carrie, thats the way to go x you know these last few months have been tough for me.. had little money.. risked eviction.. business crashed.. all this aswell as losing my best friend.. soul mate which i still believe he is.. most of the other people we knew too .. then in last week an this week things have turned right around. eviction not happening my landlord after yr finally contacts me and she was so lovely about things.. my business has trippled in last few days and my nearest rival is looking set to quit.. today.. i had extra £300!! turn up in my bank.. back payment had finally come through.. ok so i dont have him.. well not in the way we was but yeah things have turned round.. i was just listening to whitneys song.. always love you.. then bryan adams.. cried alot and then thought im lucky really.. im finding the positive.. id give anything to wake up with him loving me.. but hey im healthy.. my children are happy and healthy and we will always be there for each other no matter what.. i hope you get the new job.. and you find happiness in your life. just thought id share some positives.. that life can change around. few weeks ago i had no idea what was going happen. have a good weekend hugs to you and all x
carrie3107 Posted June 16, 2008 Posted June 16, 2008 Hi hon hope you had a good weekend. Joined the gym. went out over the weekend meet a lad. got pissed,then got kissed asked back to his then refused, he asked again i refused. Unfortunately when he came to kiss me i got a image of the ex, so i know im not ready yet. Told him at the moment that if anyone asked me to go back to theirs i would refuse!!! Not ready to do a one night stand or anything else at the mo. It was nice to have some male company though, have drinks bought etc but strange as my ex never came out. Even though we broke up 4 months ago, (and we have been seeing each other now and again FWB which i have broke off) when is it the right time to get back on the saddle and start riding again!!!!
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