Godsproperty777 Posted June 11, 2008 Posted June 11, 2008 I am hoping you all can give some advice. I have been with this man for 8 years we have been married for going on 4 years. we have one daughter together, I have loved this man with all my heart for the whole 8 years we have been together , I was always 100% devoted to him . well he has cheated on me several times. with his ex wife and some other women too. which hurt me really bad. and he is a self centered person. however that did not cause my love for him to fade. he is a very attractive man, and the sex is great. and he makes pretty good money so he has always taken care of me. anyway his cheating got way worse over the past months and we were not getting along at all anymore.he started leaving and being gone for weeks at a time which caused my love for him to fade, so we separated and I started the divorce process , and he acted like he did not really care. then I met this guy on myspace and he is really a sweetheart, we have everything in common, and we get along great. the problem is he lives clear across the united states from me. but I had him fly out here and he stayed with me for a while and everything was great between us, I am not all that attracted to him physically and the sex was not that great, but thats not a big deal. anyway of course he had to go back home and we have been apart for a while now, and he has been kind of distant and is not sure when he will be coming back here, which really hurts me. and now I have been spending some time with my ex and he says he is sorry for all the pain he put me through and he wants me back and I do see a change in him so there is a part of me that wants to give him a chance again, so I am confused as of what to do. bottom line I dont want to hurt either guy!. and I dont want to be hurt again. so now I am torn on whether to wait for this other man, or try once again with my ex.
Template Posted June 11, 2008 Posted June 11, 2008 So you are saying your ex has cheated on you over, and over, and over again, yet you want to give him another chance? This dude got it made, as he is walking all over you, and you are letting him. I don't want to sound rude, but he didn't change overnight, he's just giving you the impression that he did. Guys like that have deep seated issues which makes them do that, and it'll take years of professional help to sort that out. As far as this new guy, maybe he got what he wanted out of you, and now just isn't interested. A component of a LDR is communication, and he looks like he's not trying hard enough. Another component is setting a firm date when you will be able to see each other again, which he also seems kind of flakey on. Honestly, neither is an option for you right now. No one says you HAVE TO be in a relationship. Is this what you want your daughter to learn; that it's ok to be in a relationship where a man doesn't respect you? Unless you pressing priority right now is something other than mutual love and respect, then neither will do.
Author Godsproperty777 Posted June 11, 2008 Author Posted June 11, 2008 Well let me explain the reason this new guy is not able to be with me right now or set a firm date to come back is his mom is in the hospital dying!. she could go today , or this week, or a few months from now, they are not sure. so thats why he wont set a date. as for my ex in a way I think your right that he is just using me again , and it seems as if he was only wanting me back when he found out about this other man also. I am fine with just being single for a while. in fact I think thats the best thing for me right now, its just I dont want to hurt either guy. and that will hurt both of them .
2sunny Posted June 11, 2008 Posted June 11, 2008 i think you need to take a good amount of time without ANY man to clear your head and make room for thoughts about what decision needs to be made in your best interest - as well as consideration for your daughter.
sultry33 Posted June 11, 2008 Posted June 11, 2008 hi op, as above.. love yourself.. leave men out of it for a bit.. you deserve so much more x
bentnotbroken Posted June 12, 2008 Posted June 12, 2008 Your user name seems to imply that you are a child of God, if this is true, have you asked him what you should do. If the name means something else, I am sorry if I offended you.
Lizzie60 Posted June 12, 2008 Posted June 12, 2008 Torn between two men... what two men? None of them want you... tell them to f*ck off and move on.. Stay single.. and have fun... Your date probably won't see you again.. leave him alone.. he's not worth your energy and your time. Your husband wants you now because he probably knows you've seen someone.. but trust me... this fake jealousy will only last a little while.. It's up to you if you want to be in a toxic relationship again... geezzz.. I don't understand why women like to stay in a miserable life.
Recommended Posts