NCPilot Posted June 11, 2008 Posted June 11, 2008 Ok, this doesn't have anything to do with me, but a friend of mine. She is a friend of mine and ex. We've stopped our emotional affair, but she's still with her bf. She tells me that she finds him annoying, that he is controlling, obessive, and shows no respect. She even says that she can't stand to have him touch her. However, at the same time, she gives into him on physical stuff like cuddling, kissing and even sex. She says that she only does it because he complains. He complains like a kid who doesn't get his way if she doesn't go along with it. (I have seen him do this). I dunno though, the whole thing is confusing to me. I mean why put up with it, why do stuff that you don't want to do, but do anyways because if you don't the guy complains. I mean do people really do stuff they don't want to do because they don't want to hear their partner complain? Or should this be a red flag for me?
xpaperxcutx Posted June 11, 2008 Posted June 11, 2008 Is your friend needy? Does she have selfesteem issues? She's allowing her bf to step all over her and along the way she's lost respect for herself. If you're concerned, then it's best to sit down and talk with her about it. Show her that she deserves to be with someone who will respect her and not just use her for physical intimacy. Ultimately it is her decision to be with him, but at least you'd have shown her that there are other options and guys out there.
Author NCPilot Posted June 11, 2008 Author Posted June 11, 2008 Is your friend needy? Does she have selfesteem issues? She's allowing her bf to step all over her and along the way she's lost respect for herself. If you're concerned, then it's best to sit down and talk with her about it. Show her that she deserves to be with someone who will respect her and not just use her for physical intimacy. Ultimately it is her decision to be with him, but at least you'd have shown her that there are other options and guys out there. Trust me, she is not needy. She's like me. Normally she likes to be intimate and physical with someone she loves, but on her terms. As far as I can tell, these are not her terms, they're his. They do live together (along with his daddy, keep in mind he's 30.), and she tells me that she can't move out because of bills. Apparently they have some bills together that only she pays for. He has a job, but he doesn't pay into the bills that they share. From what I can tell, she gives in to him to keep him pacified (meaning, she doesn't want to hear him complain), and to avoid a fight. Which is foreign to me because I don't try to avoid fights and I don't keep anyone pacified.
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