mimi326 Posted June 11, 2008 Posted June 11, 2008 "Courage. Thats what I need to send out this email. What am I seeking for? Closure some might say? But I've told myself lots of time already that this is not closure. I do not need closure by writing to you. So what is it, I ask, that I am looking for? So much has happened in the last few months, ups and downs. I do not know how you are feeling about this. Nothing I suppose. I just wished you had the courtesy to be more considerate. I am just living below you and I can hear whats going on. I don't want to hate you, I just want make myself feel better without being reminded of you. It hurts me to walk past you and ignore you and pretend that you are noone to me, you are just noone. The day that we leave this school, is the day that I want to tell you that I am ok with things, because I can say it, knowing that I never have to see you two together again. I hope that you will be happy with her and I hope that you will have a happy life." Does he deserve one last word from me before we part our own ways (in 2 weeks). How do i sound on this email, am I revealing too much? It might be a bit emotion-fuelled as I was typing it as I heard him and his new love interest in the upstairs apartment. Its been 4 months since we broke up now, and I am past heart-broken, past hope, past tears. And when all those things are gone, the past sometimes lingers on, and then miniscule hope. I don't want that as I am seeing them being together everyday and it hurts me. I don't think I love him anymore (???), but its just not nice to be reminded of him.
PhoenixFromTheFlames Posted June 11, 2008 Posted June 11, 2008 Hi Mimi, Personally, I wouldn't send it. I would print it out, and then burn it. You only have to get through another couple of weeks and then you're free of seeing him again. Reading it, I can't see what you hope to achieve by it? My first impressions were that you want him to know that he hurt you, and that you're still hurting, but you'll feel better when he's gone. Why does he need to know this? Isn't this obvious? What will that achieve for you? You don't seem too sure if you still have feelings for him. To be honest, he more than likely won't reply at all, and you'll feel worse than before. If you are determined to send him one last something, please sit on it for a few more days. Re-read it in a week, and see how it sounds to you. If it makes you feel any better, I've written losts of letters to my ex since we split, but have never sent them. Occasionally I look back over what i've written and i'm so glad I didn't send them. Some days you're up, some days you're down. Like you, mine hasn't made much of an effort with me since the split. I know that me sending him anything will just inflate his ego and make me sadder. Sorry if this isn't much help. I'm still learning too. Previous break-ups have barely scratched the surface, but this one's gonna scar.
Author mimi326 Posted June 11, 2008 Author Posted June 11, 2008 I appreciate your answer. I'm not really hoping to achieve anything. I don't even expect a reply. After writing it, I do feel much better. I guess in a way, I want to send it to justify my actions and to tell him how I've been feeling. I want to say no hard feelings, so that it won't be awkward in the future... perhaps? oh i dunno....
foxh1234 Posted June 11, 2008 Posted June 11, 2008 Don't send it, it will help boost him and hurt you. No good can come from it.
stlnsmile Posted June 11, 2008 Posted June 11, 2008 No Honey, Don't send it. I know why you want to, I really really do. You want to have one last word, tell him what you really think. But here's what it actually does. It gives him POWER. It lets him know that you give a crap. That you still give a crap. Believe me, I did it, and all it did was allow my ex and his family to have one more laugh at my expense. I know that sounds harsh but it is true. Dumpers obviously do not care any more. They are done, they had reasons, and those reasons, there excuses to themselves, thats what they are clinging to. Thats what they believe. Any bad thoughts he had about you before the break will just be solidified by your contact. Then he can call you "crazy b**ch" or whatever. Believe me, I know you want to and why...but believe me loose lips sink ships...and silence is golden. Him wondering about you, wondering if you give a crap at all...much much more effective. Don't I repeat, Dont send that e-mail....or anything ever.
Lippy2 Posted June 11, 2008 Posted June 11, 2008 Don't send it, PRINT IT, then BURN IT..... I myself find it helpful to write things, put it down on paper, read it, then throw it out. It might be helpful to write an angry letter as well ( for your eyes only) to help release some of the hurt. Also, it helps to keep posting here on the boards. So, keep posting !!!
0hpenelope Posted June 12, 2008 Posted June 12, 2008 I wouldn't send it either. Sure, it's for you. But he's getting something out of it too, which is a polar opposite to what you're getting out of sending this e-mail to him. He's not worth anything... anything of you now. Nothing. Not time, not energy. If you think about him, fine - we all think about those exes. Actually, just thinking about making the effort to communicate with my own ex is tiring me out.
0hpenelope Posted June 12, 2008 Posted June 12, 2008 I wouldn't send it either. Sure, it's for you. But he's getting something out of it too, which is a polar opposite to what you're getting out of sending this e-mail to him. He's not worth anything... anything of you now. Nothing. Not time, not energy. If you think about him, fine - we all think about those exes. Actually, just thinking about making the effort to communicate with my own ex is tiring me out.
LikeCharlotte Posted June 12, 2008 Posted June 12, 2008 If its for you then keep it for yourself. Don't send it. He obviously doesn't care about how you feel at all and nothing you can do will change that. Your letter will not open his eyes or change anything except that you will let him know that he still has some power to hurt you. I know you want to send it but be strong. Don't.
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