boyfriend broke up need .

[stoshie]

My boyfriend just recently broke up with me, this being the 2nd time both times being his choice..we broke up once before this in February and then he asked me back out in April..this time it hurts a little more he said right now he just doesn't have time for relationships and that he wants to be able to give me everything but right now he just has nothing to give..he reminded me how hurt he would be if he saw me pursing another guy and how his decision to break up up has nothing to do with him trying to find someone else or being interested in any one else..but then when i asked him if when the times right if he wants to eventually be with me again he replied with "i don't know, i hope." I've talked to my mom about it seeing as how i am heart broken and i don't know what to believe any more with him..she told me that she thinks this is a tactic for him to be able to do what ever he wants see what's out there and keep his options open while trying to make me wait on the sidelines until he figures out if he truly wants to be with me..she told me this the last time we broke up as well but i took him back regardless because of my feelings for him..the first time we broke up he said the same things how " i was still his baby" and how it would hurt him to see me interested in another guy but his actions proved other wise he was sending somewhat nude pictures to his ex girlfriend that he broke up with to be with me..and asking for "sexy" pictures in return..i got really upset when i saw this but i guess my heart just didn't want to believe it so i ignored it and made up excuses for him in my head to try to make the heartache go away..i ignored my intuition because i was afraid of the truth but now i have this gut feeling like my mother is right..the previous breakup before this one he used to call me and text me asking me to come over just so he could get something sexual out of it then want me to leave and i feel its all a cycle and the same thing is going to happen again he'll call me just for pleasure and think nothing of it. i am truly in love with him and it hurts that he could be so selfish mean while I'd do anything for him and he knows this..i just wish i could switch things around maybe have some power in this because it seems after i fell in love with him all the power i had in the beginning disappeared and i bend over backwards for him when he hardly gives me the time of day sometimes and it hurts me so much..i wish i could just some how break the habit of caring so much because it seems like it does no good with him my mother says i need to stop kissing his butt and find some one who is going to treat me better but it's so hard because my heart is set on him he is my other half and no one is appealing to me in the sense that I'd want to maybe start a relationship with them my heart is his. he says breaking up with me hurts him so much but if it really hurt that much how can he so easily break me? the last thing I'd ever want to do is hurt him and it seems like hurting me is constantly on his agenda. sometimes he says he loves me other times when i say i love you he just replies with you promise? or says nothing at all I've asked him if he loves me and he just says he doesn't know what love is anymore..and it kills me how could i be so in love with someone? who just seems to not care about my feelings nor my heart. i am not at all a bad girlfriend i treat him the best i possibly can and i make sure he knows how i feel about him all the time just so he'd never have to question it.but i get nothing back. just empty stares and silence.. i just want to know what i could maybe do to change things around for the better and if theres any hope at all?

[stlnsmile]

I have been in this exact same place. I will say a couple of things because I think we are about the same age and I want you to know the truth. Guys don't take breaks from girls they love...PERIOD. Its an excuse. Either he wants to see whats out there, or he already has an option, another girl in mind. The phrase I heard the other day is sooo true, "A monkey doesn't let go of one branch until he has a firm grasp on another." This is true. Guys will say all manner of things to excape being blamed, and escape being the "bad guy". Don't ask me why. He is lying to you. Do not hang on to any one who views you or your relationship as dispendable. I am being harsh, but my guy was exactly the same way, and when the cob webs cleared and I saw the truth, I was astounded at who he was. I never would have believed it. I have a feeling your guy is young and you are too, like me. Don't let this guy play you.

[stlnsmile]

My boyfriend just recently broke up with me, this being the 2nd time both times being his choice..we broke up once before this in February and then he asked me back out in April..this time it hurts a little more

 

he said right now he just doesn't have time for relationships and that he wants to be able to give me everything but right now he just has nothing to give..he reminded me how hurt he would be if he saw me pursing another guy and how his decision to break up up has nothing to do with him trying to find someone else or being interested in any one else..but then when i asked him if when the times right if he wants to eventually be with me again he replied with "i don't know, i hope."

 

I've talked to my mom about it seeing as how i am heart broken and i don't know what to believe any more with him..she told me that she thinks this is a tactic for him to be able to do what ever he wants see what's out there and keep his options open while trying to make me wait on the sidelines until he figures out if he truly wants to be with me..

 

she told me this the last time we broke up as well but i took him back regardless because of my feelings for him..the first time we broke up he said the same things how " i was still his baby" and how it would hurt him to see me interested in another guy but his actions proved other wise he was sending somewhat nude pictures to his ex girlfriend that he broke up with to be with me..and asking for "sexy" pictures in return..

 

i got really upset when i saw this but i guess my heart just didn't want to believe it so i ignored it and made up excuses for him in my head to try to make the heartache go away..i ignored my intuition because i was afraid of the truth but now i have this gut feeling like my mother is right

 

..the previous breakup before this one he used to call me and text me asking me to come over just so he could get something sexual out of it then want me to leave and i feel its all a cycle and the same thing is going to happen again he'll call me just for pleasure and think nothing of it.

 

i am truly in love with him and it hurts that he could be so selfish mean while I'd do anything for him and he knows this..i just wish i could switch things around maybe have some power in this because it seems after i fell in love with him all the power i had in the beginning disappeared and i bend over backwards for him when he hardly gives me the time of day

sometimes and it hurts me so much..i wish i could just some how break the habit of caring so much because it seems like it does no good with him

 

my mother says i need to stop kissing his butt and find some one who is going to treat me better but it's so hard because my heart is set on him he is my other half and no one is appealing to me in the sense that I'd want to maybe start a relationship with them my heart is his.

 

he says breaking up with me hurts him so much but if it really hurt that much how can he so easily break me? the last thing I'd ever want to do is hurt him and it seems like hurting me is constantly on his agenda. sometimes he says he loves me other times when i say i love you he just replies with you promise? or says nothing at all I've asked him if he loves me and he just says he doesn't know what love is anymore..and it kills me how could i be so in love with someone? who just seems to not care about my feelings nor my heart.

 

i am not at all a bad girlfriend i treat him the best i possibly can and i make sure he knows how i feel about him all the time just so he'd never have to question it.but i get nothing back. just empty stares and silence.. i just want to know what i could maybe do to change things around for the better and if theres any hope at all?

 

Many times the problem is that we give them too much power, it is not equal, and that is where respect is lost. Is this guy respecting you. No, he is not, why, because you do not respect yourself. You have to love yourself more than you love him. I know it makes no sense right now, but the thing you need to realize for yourself is that people who love you do not hurt you, string you along, play with you, use you, lie to you, decieve you, they value you and your heart and your feelings. They would do anything but hurt you if at all possible. I think its time to try to remember what you like about you. What you liked about yourself before you met him. Who you were before you met him. What was important to you. The best way to get power back is to live well on your own. Live for you, find your own friends and do your own things. And don't let him come crawling back this time.

[stlnsmile]

How long were you two together? How long was he with his ex? What was the reason he was breaking up with his ex? You say he broke up with her for you? Then he talked to her when he was with you?