loomis Posted June 10, 2008 Posted June 10, 2008 So as most of you know I've been having a problem with my ex and her mail. She was getting upset with me that I wasn't telling her when I dropped off her mail on her car. I finally got pissed and told her to change her address online and that any remaining mail I would just drop off and text her that it was there, if it was going to freaking make her all freaked out. Well I did that today, I just dropped it off and just said 'i dropped off mail in your mailbox'. She then says 'Thanks Can you talk?' I said ' yeah its no big deal, sure what's up?' (just assuming she wanted to talk over text) she says 'can I call you? or can you call me?' So i just called her and she answered. We had a pleasant talk, she asked about the dog and how he was doing. I told her he was good. She then was like 'I don't know what people have told you, but I'm not dating anyone. When I said I didn't want to be in a relationship I really ment it' (she tells me this because be basically have the exact same friends.) I just said, and this is the truth "no ones said anything like that, so no worries. People say they see you but I haven't heard anyone say anything like that." she was happy about that. I mean when we broke up she said that she would be willing to try our relationship later in life, like in a year or whatever. But whatever, a year can change a lot and I don't really have the time to wait around. She then also said how she's turned down every guy whose asked her out. That was kinda nice to know I guess. We then just talked about things like school, friends, what we've both been up to lately. She then had to go and we said good bye. I don't know why she wanted to call and make sure people hadn't said anything. She's an honest girl, but I don't care if she goes out and dates. It's her life now. That was basically her main point she wanted to ask. I don't really care all that much though. I haven't told her this but I'm moving to California in August and I have to give away our dog we got together cause I cant take him with me. I'm not changing my plans even if she's starting to come around. Thats the thing though, is she starting to come around you think? I can't tell. I'm just sort of numb to all of it. I don't really even have any feeling. Any insight would be sweet.
Author loomis Posted June 11, 2008 Author Posted June 11, 2008 Anyone please I need advice, anything! what do I think? Should I think anything of it? Should I just look at it as nothing?
sultry33 Posted June 11, 2008 Posted June 11, 2008 HI why? if you have decided to move away and you dont want her back.. why you asking this question? bit confused here would it change your mind?
Ronni_W Posted June 11, 2008 Posted June 11, 2008 Anyone please I need advice, anything! what do I think? Should I think anything of it? Should I just look at it as nothing? <lol> Well, what DO you think? It just sounds as if she isn't all angry or whatever, anymore. She'd be the one who knows why it's important to her that you know she isn't dating - why not ask her? You know why you didn't tell her that you don't care. You know why you didn't tell her that you're moving. If she is able to house and feed the dog, you know why you wouldn't want to give her the opportunity, once you move. I don't think it automatically means something...but it could mean something. All I can suggest is that you ask if she is willing discuss with you, the things that are still unanswered for you.
Author loomis Posted June 11, 2008 Author Posted June 11, 2008 HI why? if you have decided to move away and you dont want her back.. why you asking this question? bit confused here would it change your mind? hahaha I know I am kind of confusing. I donno I guess cause I do still have feelings for her but at the same time I know for a fact she doesn't want anything right now, and I don't really either. Also I guess Im wondering does this mean she still has feelings for me? Or is she just trying to be nice? I just didn't know if it was something I should...take into account I guess you can say. Im lame I know lol. Thats just the way I am. I want things to either be fixed now or I believe they can't be fixed later you know what I mean? I know everyone can't fully answer these questions for me. I'm just like have that sliver or hope in the back of my head.
Author loomis Posted June 11, 2008 Author Posted June 11, 2008 <lol> Well, what DO you think? It just sounds as if she isn't all angry or whatever, anymore. She'd be the one who knows why it's important to her that you know she isn't dating - why not ask her? You know why you didn't tell her that you don't care. You know why you didn't tell her that you're moving. If she is able to house and feed the dog, you know why you wouldn't want to give her the opportunity, once you move. I don't think it automatically means something...but it could mean something. All I can suggest is that you ask if she is willing discuss with you, the things that are still unanswered for you. Thanks that totally helps a lot, and the answer to one of your questions, no she can't take the dog, otherwise I think she would. At the same time though I don't find it fair for some reason that she should have it if she could, seeing as how she couldn't handle taking care of him with me. I just need to not over analyze it. Like I said I have a plan and it's one I made that doesn't involve her and I'm totally sticking to it. I do totally miss her, its like in the back of my heart though. A good friend told me this and Ill never forget it. I asked him if I'll ever just forget her and he said "you'll always love her for the person that she was before everything went down hill. No matter what"
sultry33 Posted June 11, 2008 Posted June 11, 2008 hahaha I know I am kind of confusing. I donno I guess cause I do still have feelings for her but at the same time I know for a fact she doesn't want anything right now, and I don't really either. Also I guess Im wondering does this mean she still has feelings for me? Or is she just trying to be nice? I just didn't know if it was something I should...take into account I guess you can say. Im lame I know lol. Thats just the way I am. I want things to either be fixed now or I believe they can't be fixed later you know what I mean? I know everyone can't fully answer these questions for me. I'm just like have that sliver or hope in the back of my head. haha, yes i know i confuse myself:D i think you have hit nail on head.. its the "hope" word.. therefore you want her.. her clarifying situation on dating suggests to me that she cares what YOU think of her.. not sure if its because she still cares for you though.. maybe go NC as you are planning on moving.. then see if anything happens in the meantime? you could ask her... but be prepared for good or bad outcome. hugs to you
Author loomis Posted June 11, 2008 Author Posted June 11, 2008 [/b] haha, yes i know i confuse myself:D i think you have hit nail on head.. its the "hope" word.. therefore you want her.. her clarifying situation on dating suggests to me that she cares what YOU think of her.. not sure if its because she still cares for you though.. maybe go NC as you are planning on moving.. then see if anything happens in the meantime? you could ask her... but be prepared for good or bad outcome. hugs to you Its so true there is that little piece of hope. I do still have some "hope" that she might want to start something. what do I know though? It's only been a month and I feel amazing though. I read on here a lot how people are 5 months, 10 months, even like a year down the road and they still say they have that burning feeling like it was the first day they were dumped or broke up. I don't know if its because I've chosen to move on and I'm doing it, or I'm just in a numb stage to where I just don't care anymore. Yeah I probably won't tell her till about a week before I leave. I think the only reason I would tell her is for the dog so she can see him one last time. Not for me. I don't want to be one of those ex boyfriends thats like "look at me. Look what I'm doing now, I'm so great! get back with me!" lol It's really none of her business anyway, you know? If she has questions, which she will, I'll answer but not in that, "if you don't want me to go, I won't" tone. haha. At the moment though I just needed to know if I'm doing the right thing by just leaving **** be. I don't want to get all warped up in drama. She has a new life, she needs to live it. Thats why she wanted to break up in the first place. Now I'm just understanding why
sultry33 Posted June 11, 2008 Posted June 11, 2008 yea you seem to be doing really well, i think everyone heals moves on in there own time i feel somedays that im ok.. when im out i get a lot of attention and its really nice to get! lots of distractions.. if i need them.. i just like to think that i tried my best but at same time im seeing life without him as livable.. and i know i will be ok. cannot say i felt that a few months ago though.. if it didnt have my children i think id be in the panet above.. looking down thinking damn.. i hate that someone i loved so much has chosen to leave me when he showed the same love in return.. i said my regret was that i didnt meet him sooner in life.. but sometimes i regret letting him in my life too.. still cannot go on face book/my space as i was totally in love and its on all my profiles.. coments.. sometimes i feel numb.. sometimes sad.. sometimes happy.. just a bit happy though.. half a smile y know you seem like a great guy and you will meet someone worthy of you .. keep up the strength
Author loomis Posted June 11, 2008 Author Posted June 11, 2008 yea you seem to be doing really well, i think everyone heals moves on in there own time i feel somedays that im ok.. when im out i get a lot of attention and its really nice to get! lots of distractions.. if i need them.. i just like to think that i tried my best but at same time im seeing life without him as livable.. and i know i will be ok. cannot say i felt that a few months ago though.. if it didnt have my children i think id be in the panet above.. looking down thinking damn.. i hate that someone i loved so much has chosen to leave me when he showed the same love in return.. i said my regret was that i didnt meet him sooner in life.. but sometimes i regret letting him in my life too.. still cannot go on face book/my space as i was totally in love and its on all my profiles.. coments.. sometimes i feel numb.. sometimes sad.. sometimes happy.. just a bit happy though.. half a smile y know you seem like a great guy and you will meet someone worthy of you .. keep up the strength I know exactly what you mean. I've thought the same thing like "wow maybe it would have worked out had we met each other later in life" but then I think, no because then I wouldn't have had this experience. I was supposed to meet her and have her in my life at this time and place now. I know the pain is not over. I'm still healing and its a process I know. I can't expect to have amazing days from here on out because I know that won't happen. I Agree It is hard to think that someone you loved so much, and you showed you the same love can just all of a sudden run out. Thats the knife twisting. It hurts and It's painful. Weird how love and emotions can be just as painful as getting hit by a car or falling off a cliff. I have tattoos all over my body, huge pieces and none of them, NOT ONE hurt as much as the pain I've been through losing my love. Thanks for your insight. I know you'll find a great guy too. you sound awesome.
sultry33 Posted June 11, 2008 Posted June 11, 2008 I know exactly what you mean. I've thought the same thing like "wow maybe it would have worked out had we met each other later in life" but then I think, no because then I wouldn't have had this experience. I was supposed to meet her and have her in my life at this time and place now. I know the pain is not over. I'm still healing and its a process I know. I can't expect to have amazing days from here on out because I know that won't happen. I Agree It is hard to think that someone you loved so much, and you showed you the same love can just all of a sudden run out. Thats the knife twisting. It hurts and It's painful. Weird how love and emotions can be just as painful as getting hit by a car or falling off a cliff. I have tattoos all over my body, huge pieces and none of them, NOT ONE hurt as much as the pain I've been through losing my love. Thanks for your insight. I know you'll find a great guy too. you sound awesome. thanks lommis, yeah i know.. when i let my ex go.. lol or he stops replying and contacting me.. i still hold on to fact that everything happens for a reason and some day looking back you see the reason.. i always have, even during the most painful experiences the reason shows itself in the end.. id just like a crystal ball to take a peek a few yrs in the future.. then i could kick my own butt if i need to now..
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