Habibti Posted June 10, 2008 Posted June 10, 2008 Hello All, I posted in the LDR earlier. My situation is, I have spent the last year very emotionally attatched to a man who I was supposed to meet in 2 weeks. We both had already seen pics of eachother- both face and body- and mine are current. Anyhow, after a year of emotional investment last night he told me after seeing me on webcam that he didn't want to meet me any longer. That I was the best girl he's ever met in life, and that I was very pretty (I guess just not pretty enough). This coming from a man who told me that looks aren't important because they fade and what makes a person beautiful is their personality. Anyhow, being that so many friends and family communicated with him and thought we were going to have a happy ending, everyone is really hurting about this. I had made so many plans that are now done for. This is a blog I wrote, coping with the subject, I will probably be here a lot for awhile trying to get through this deep pain. "Destroyed Today you killed me. You ripped my dreams from my soul as a predator rips a spine from a body. Part of me is optimistic, I want to move forward, I visualise myself taking steps, bettering myself and improving myself. The other part is so stricken with grief she can't move. She can't eat, she doesn't sleep. I can't help but think if I lost 30 or 40 pounds this wouldn't have happened. What's the most sad to me though is that I KNOW this wouldn't have happened. Try as I might, it's going to take me a long time to forgive you for that. It would be one thing if you had been honest with me. If you hadn't told me you liked my body and that you loved me for who I was, regardless of what I looked like.If you hadn't told me that looks fade and what matters is what's underneath that, I wouldn't feel so betrayed by you. I wouldn't feel so lied too. But I do now, because you're a liar. You pretend that you stand up for good things and important things but when they apply to your own life you don't live them. I'm sorry for you for that. You're going to lose a great girl and several great joys in your life because of that. I can lose weight, I'm not stuck to it. I can't believe you're letting 30 pounds take away everything. An entire year, gone- flushed down the toilet. An entire year wasted, I wish I could say I don't regret meeting you and what we shared, but I do. I regret that I gave myself so unselfishly and wholy and completely to someone who was willing to throw me under the bus for what? You're really unbelievable. I don't know what's next for me now that I've been destroyed. I guess I will start to pick up pieces, put them back together.God give me strength to even find them again."
ioncebelieved Posted June 10, 2008 Posted June 10, 2008 Hmmmmmm..... How long did it take for him to see to you on the cam? The way you make it sound is that you have interacted for a year and all of a sudden he sees you on the webcam and BAM!!! No can do!! Is that correct? The longest I would wait in a LDR is about a month to see someone for real.
Author Habibti Posted June 10, 2008 Author Posted June 10, 2008 He just saw me last night. I've never seen him on a webcam though.
ioncebelieved Posted June 10, 2008 Posted June 10, 2008 That seems odd. I have learned the hard way that LDR never, ever work out. Why in the world did you wait for so long to webcam? I am sorry that I have NO concrete answers other than people can be really ****ty. Did you gain a lot of weight over the course of the year? Not trying to be mean, just trying to analyze different angles. FYI, my LDR lover broke my heart a few weeks ago and it really was a long time coming. She gained a considerable amount of weight, but I still viewed her as the most beautiful person in the world. I threw that in so you wouldn't think badly for asking the weight question and the above is true.
burning 4 revenge Posted June 10, 2008 Posted June 10, 2008 How do you know this has anything to do with 30lbs? 30lbs overweight isn't very much And are you American? It seems strange you would get your family and friends so involved with an internet bf, but maybe there are cultural issues at work here. Habibi is an Arabic word
Author Habibti Posted June 10, 2008 Author Posted June 10, 2008 bc I'm 30 pounds overweight. Now, he saw pics of that, and claimed he still liked me and that I looked good.
Nevermind Posted June 10, 2008 Posted June 10, 2008 I am sure you look lovely. It is completely idiotic to react like this. Don't take the blame for it. He was simply a jerk. (((hugs)))
Author Habibti Posted June 10, 2008 Author Posted June 10, 2008 That seems odd. I have learned the hard way that LDR never, ever work out. Why in the world did you wait for so long to webcam? I am sorry that I have NO concrete answers other than people can be really ****ty. Did you gain a lot of weight over the course of the year? Not trying to be mean, just trying to analyze different angles. FYI, my LDR lover broke my heart a few weeks ago and it really was a long time coming. She gained a considerable amount of weight, but I still viewed her as the most beautiful person in the world. I threw that in so you wouldn't think badly for asking the weight question and the above is true. P.s- I never found him to be attractive physically, I loved him adn that he was the most handsome man because of who he was on the inside. He himself is a bit overweight actually but that didn't matter to me. I thought ht was different.
burning 4 revenge Posted June 10, 2008 Posted June 10, 2008 Im still not convinced this has anything to do with weight
Author Habibti Posted June 10, 2008 Author Posted June 10, 2008 I am sure you look lovely. It is completely idiotic to react like this. Don't take the blame for it. He was simply a jerk. (((hugs))) Thankyou, I need them.
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