ScarredStar Posted June 10, 2008 Posted June 10, 2008 Okay, this might get confusing but bear with me... My partner and I broke up two and a half weeks ago now. He said he just saw me as a friend, and that was really the only explaination I got. Fair enough really, nothing can be done about that. However I was sure he was seeing someone else, but he always denied it. We kept in contact for a bit, just keeping things friendly. I didn't contact him for a few days, I was doing okay without him. However, then I saw this girl he denied seeing going round the internet saying how great he was and how well he treated her. My temper really got hot. I tried calling him, only to find out he had changed his number. The guy cant exactly say I was giving him grief, as I hadn't spoken to him in a few days and when I did I was generally pleasant. I didn't know what to do, so I didnt even bother trying to contact him for a few days. Decided I was gonna just move on completely and not even have him as a friend because he'd lied to me, and I didn't need that. However, I just needed answers so I emailed him on Sunday night, just poured my heart out, said everything I had to say. Basically I just said I couldnt believe he had lied to me even though I had asked him was he seeing her. Brought up about him changing his number, why he said he wanted to be friends and obviously was not making any effort. I got an email back from him this morning. At the start of it he was pretty annoyed, but calmed down as he wrote more. He said that the reason he broke up with me was because of my trust issues. Then in the email he told me how perfect I was, not to let it control my life. He asked me to talk to someone about it because it would make me feel so much better. He finished the email with "Your great (my name here lol )i really mean that you are amazing but you need to change the way you think about things or else it will control your life!xxx" I wrote back and explained that I had been trying my best to change myself, the way I thought, the way I felt and I wasnt going to let past experiences ruin things for me. I told him that I was blind to the fact that it was so damaging to our relationship and he should have talked to me about it. The reply I got was: "Its hard telling someone that they have problems i dint want to hurt you by keeping saying to you that there was a problem i had told you before but its not really my place to say all the time to you about it, i know you were trying to sort yourself about the situation. Im going to ***** (home town) on monday so i can meet you then, and no im not finding it easy even though you think i am.x" So I agreed to meet him. I asked him about the girl he was supposed to be seeing and he said that I've gotten my wires crossed and he will explain when he sees me (its something to do with him, her, a guy called Colin and her ex...this should be interesting...). But, this is where it gets confusing. He made it pretty clear that he would still like to have sex with me. He says that he doesnt know where his head is right now and maybe we should take a few months to see how we feel. I told him that I wasnt sure about the sex thing, as much as I miss it, that might cloud our judgement and plus I would just find it difficult. The other thing is, I dont really want to wait too long because he might find someone else and I would be waiting for nothing. What do you people think? I told him more or less we will discuss things face to face because I think it's always different when you see the person. He said though maybe it would be best to just stick to friends stuff then if I dont think anything else a good idea. Does he actually want back with him for who I am or is he just in it for the sex now? I guess the only thing I can do it wait and see what happens when I see him...its a tough situation. He doesnt know how he feels.
kizik Posted June 10, 2008 Posted June 10, 2008 This is absurd. Do not see him. Have some self-respect. I know you're confused, but now you're just hurting yourself. 2 1/2 weeks is WAAAY too soon to see an ex. Try 6 months.
iwish Posted June 10, 2008 Posted June 10, 2008 ScarredStar, Don't let him use you for sex!! I made that mistake and i'm a guy!!. Afterwards for me it felt wrong, i wanted more and she didn't.. And it makes you feel empty afterwards.. (yes there is something wrong with me ) Because if not, you'll have hope, whilst he'll be seeing someone else. So just tell him to **** Off!
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