endlesstrains Posted June 10, 2008 Posted June 10, 2008 I was just wondering what the best way to approach this subject is. Early in the relationship, my boyfriend told me that he'd never had any STDs, and I do believe him, but I know that people can contract STDs without having any symptoms or ever being aware of it themselves. I kinow that he has had at least 2 previous partners, possibly more (although not a large amount.) I have only had one previous partner myself and he was a virgin so I doubt that I have any STDs myself, but I would still like to get tested along with my boyfriend just to feel safe about it. For a while we always used condoms, but we have stopped (I am on the pill so it's not necessary for pregnancy prevention)... we basically ran out and never bought more because they seemed to complicate everything and cause problems, he had lots of trouble keeping them on, etc. But I do worry sometimes that he may have some STD he doesn't know about and I may have already contracted it. I guess I just want us to get tested to be safe. But, it seems like a pretty heavy thing, being that we have only been dating 3 1/2 months (please spare me any talk on how it's stupid to not be using condoms after that amount of time, I am aware of the risks and it just kind of turned out this way) and I don't want him to feel like I am accusing him of anything. I very much trust that when he told me he didn't have any STDs, he was telling me the truth as he knew it, but that doesn't mean he's never been exposed. I do expect that both our tests will come up clean but I still would like to know... but this is supposed to be the easy, carefree part of the relationship and I hate to weigh it down (especially since it's been weighed down a couple times already lately due to some difficult circumstances, but we have passed that bump in the road now.) So I guess I was wondering what the best way to go about this is. I've never had to deal with it before. I know I am pretty inexperienced... and actually he doesn't know I've only had sex with one other guy, and I don't know if that would weird him out or not, or make him feel like it's too imbalanced, or whatever. I didn't really want to bring that subject up but it would be kind of inevitable if I ask about testing. What to do?
Trialbyfire Posted June 10, 2008 Posted June 10, 2008 Why not get tested yourself and see if you come up positive for any STDs? If so, you know where you got it from.
Author endlesstrains Posted June 10, 2008 Author Posted June 10, 2008 Well, it seems kind of sneaky in a way. If I didn't come up clean, I would have to talk to my boyfriend about it, and of course he would wonder why I went and "secretly" got an STD test-- I don't want him to think I don't trust him, or that I am cheating on him or anything.
Trialbyfire Posted June 10, 2008 Posted June 10, 2008 Why would it be sneaky? It's your body and he's your b/f, not your owner.
twice_shy Posted June 10, 2008 Posted June 10, 2008 When it can be a matter of life or death, you simply request that they get tested. If they don't want to or get pissed off, then they aren't the one for you.
tanbark813 Posted June 10, 2008 Posted June 10, 2008 Just tell him what you said here: You don't think you have anything you just want to get tested to be sure. It shouldn't be a big deal. Btw, I initially misread your user name as "endless strains" and thought it was strangely fitting for this thread.
dreamergrl Posted June 10, 2008 Posted June 10, 2008 OP If you get tested keep in mind that should you have anything, it is possible it wont show up in your blood work yet. If you're worried about it BOTH of you should get tested.
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